In the past when I have felt exactly the same.........I took long walks in my favorite cemetary. It allows u to c what u still hav and all that u can still make of it. U do hav a gr8 future - u still exist to build one. If she is still ur wife, show her this. As a woman alone I wish he could hav shared more than he ever did. Keep writing ur words - they r powerful and can eventually set u free. Go catch ur reflection - what a beautilful 'ghost' u'll c !

I read what you had to say...I'm confused at this point to wonder if this is a poem or a cry for help. Drinking intesifies problem - you're a drinker, you know this to be true. Your problems lie in your own hands. One, ween off your drinking. If beer is your choice, 2 beers per day for a month... even when you don't want it. At the end of the month cut down to one a day - even if you don't want it. In two week from then it will be six weeks since you started this venture...evaluate your life. What did you feel when you didn't want the drink but you drank it anyway? Stop disbelieving in your wife. If she's going to cheat, she will...But you can show her a better you a more IN CONTROL you. The thoughts of your wife cheating and questioning her cheating WILL take a toll and if you persist in believing she's cheating - it will happen. What do you want from her? Trust? Trust is what she wants in you. If she is with you, it's not too late to get in control of yourself - you need yourself more than anybody... and once you find yourself, you will find the power of control. YOU CAN CONTROL WHAT YOU FEAR... you choose to fear or choose control - it is your choice and yours alone. Remember: Love lives, Love dies... FEED YOUR LOVE... Drinking will only poison it. This message will not self distuct in 10 a seconds, and it is not worth reading without belief, believe in yourself my friend.

There is never equality in love, one partner always loves more than the other, even if it is just a tiny fraction. That isn't the problem though - the problem lies in thinking that we deserve happiness simply by being ourselves. We don't - we have to work at it and earn it, hard though this might be. Nobody said that life should be fair, and we have to accept that as a 'given' fact. First, my friend, you have to learn to love yourself, then you'll be lovable. Don't put yourself down - your writing shows you're worth more than that. Take care Mike

This reads like you are thinking out loud. A form of writing I happen to enjoy. An explosion of thoughts. Organized ramblings of our minds and hearts. If this isn't written on actual events.....extrodinary work. If is is....it is still extrodinary. Adding...People tend to see life through their own eyes. Think about that....then go back and read what you've written. Might I ask, why would you write this on myspace "hoping" for her to see. When you can look into her eyes and tell her yourself? Personal should be done in person. Drop your defenses and hear what she has to say instead of feeling what she is saying. And vice versa. Maybe she is waiting to hear this very personal part of yourself. I have to wonder at this particular part "Drunk alone again." I didn't take that to mean you are drunk as in inebriated. I took it to mean you are drunk with loneliness. I may be off the mark. It feels as if you are frustrated, alone, a tad depressed and to make matters worse your muse has taken a vacation. Like any relationship, whether it be friendship, marriage,parent etc..even divorce....takes work and the effort of both parties wanting it to be successful. Things didn't go amiss overnight and it won't be cured overnight either. Good luck to you....and many blessings.