Having been born and raised in a tent just outside Leavesden Mental Asylum where both my parents were inmates, I always knew I was special. Even when I was at school I stood out from the crowd, some said it was because I was wearing a potato sack and they all had uniforms but I say it was personality that seperated me from the pack.
After leaving school I struggled to make a living for a while until a chance encounter with a street walker in Watford High Street. After that I made my fortune from call girls paying me not to sleep with them.Â
Despite my new found wealth I was still very lonely until one day I met a blind, deaf, mute woman with no sense of smell and had two very ugly children with her. Alas her sense of smell returned and once again I found myself alone. So if you're very ugly and have no self respect, give me a call. I'll let you buy me dinner.
Some of the above might be slightly misleading or entirely untrue.Â
I was raised in Leavesden, just outside Watford England. That much was true. They filmed Goldeneye at Leavesden Studios actually. Fascinating huh? It was a Rolls Royce aeroplane engine plant when I lived there. The bit about the two children was true, maybe not the ugly part but when you look at their parents...what hope did they have?
These days above all I write comic fantasies and spoofs of the whole ridiculous fantasy genre. You can find my feeble scribblings at futilefantasycreations.co.uk along with some textures for use with Poser or Daz.  There's a real terrible film we made on there too. Go see!
My Stats
D.O.B: 1st March 1971.
Hair: A distant memory.
Gender: Ugly man.
That's it. I've said too much.
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Comments (9)
Bossie_Boots
Blimey you didnt did ya i mean break the swing omg did she speak to you again though brilliant fun render superb work hugs lou x
Mousson
Very beautiful scene! I like specially the plants and flowers you used.
Dragonluna1
OMG!!! Hilarious!!!!
DarqIce
Fantastic Picture hon ! Love the expressions expecially the look on his face as if hes trying to decide if he's going to stick around or start running .. you created another fantastic scene.
akulla
LOL, nice work.
jaynep12002
Just when you try and impress a girl, it all goes wrong! That's gonna leave a bruise! LOL - excellent scene!
Cimaira
ROFLMBO... I love your images, not only are they usually always good for a giggle, but the posing and expressions are perfect! this one is no exception. Thank you for sharing not only your talent but your amazing sense of humor!
bigmelommoo
LOL, great imagination you have.
milacristi
EXCELENTE TRABALHO ,GRANDE IMAGINAÇÃO