To Sleep Or Not To Sleep by D.C.Monteny
Close
Hover over top left image to zoom.
Click anywhere to exit.
Members remain the original copyright holder in all their materials here at Renderosity. Use of any of their material inconsistent with the terms and conditions set forth is prohibited and is considered an infringement of the copyrights of the respective holders unless specially stated otherwise.
Description
Eighteen hours of sleep
To wake up and feel tired
Again of being awake
I'm watching "Control"
On DVD, in the movie theatre
Someone screwed up the rolls
And I saw Ian's suicide
In reverse and upside
Down
I go to bed once more, tired
Of being alive, I sleep
Another eighteen hours
I'm walking my Irish Wolfhound
To the vet, and back again
I feel exhausted, then Peter phones
It's good to hear my friend's voice
Even if he's a country away
Sleep is all I know these days
And I manage another eighteen hours
Again as if I'm flirting with dead
Then I wake up, quite reinvigorated
Like my body is ready for my mind
To work and create and write anew
As if nothing has happened
These past three days
Recovering from cancer
Is a strange, absurd, ridiculous
Process, there are no time tables
You just go with the flow
Wherever your body takes you
You follow like a blind man
Soon there will be a check-up
And I will wonder for a week
If I killed the dragon in me
Or if I have to prepare myself
For a really big sleep
-------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading this far and any comments you might have.
Have a GREAT day,
Dirk
Comments (22)
avalonfaayre
I admire the fight in you. I can't say I know how you feel because I don't. I have seen the same determination, dampened by bouts of tiredness and depression in my brother, and I know of the horrors you have faced, but I don't pretend to know what you have gone through. The dragon fights dirty and his wounds are many and diverse. Thank you for trusting enough to show some of the battles in the war. Prayers and easy soft hugs. You are inspiring.
gateman45
peace
Gaiadriel
Seemingly, both you and your pup struggling here over time down... Your body orders you, and you blindly obey. The pack leader orders him, and he learns to obey. My hope is soul-deep and firmly planted..that the news around the bend is clear, untainted. Hugs and thoughts, dear (((Dirk))). And, I do so hope you keep managing this inspiring and lovely creativtive ascent. Thank you, as always, for the inner glimpses, and the unabashd, truthful sharing of yourself with us in these ways. :)
SSoffia
QUERIDO AMIGO ,SIGUES SIENDO EL GRAN ARBOL DE LAUREL , COBIJAS A TODO TU ALREDEDOR. ERES SOMBRA PARA TODO EL QUE TIENE CALOR Y TUS RAICES SON LA FUERZA,PARA DAR MAS AMOR Y FORTALEZA......... DEAR FRIEND, YOU CONTINUE BEING LAUREL'S GREAT TREE, RIDGE-TILES TO EVERYTHING YOUR AROUND. YOU ARE A SHADE FOR EVERYTHING THE ONE THAT HAS HEAT AND YOUR ROOTS ARE THE FORCE, TO GIVE MORE LOVE AND STRENGTH(FORTRESS) .........
fractalinda
Your honesty is disarming..and inspiring. Thank you for sharing you, Dirk, in honesty and with insight born of pain and experience..always poignantly and skillfully expressed. I wish and pray for the very best outcome. In the meantime, I am so enjoying your writing. Oh, and I Love the picture!
Juliette.Gribnau
Dirk, je bent zo ontroerend eerlijk over de strijd die je voert !!
Thelby
Strength comes from above, from the Lord and it is He that can keep you forever in His Loving arms. Peace and Blessing to you!!!
koosievantutte
sterkte!
Titia
...silence...
RodolfoCiminelli
Wonderful and fantastic integral realization my friend....!!! Congratulations....!!!!
Dinhi
The topic of your writing offers much to think about for me personally on this day. Having just "lost" a position I recently acquired with a company due to "downsizing" and "elimination of said position", I am not sleeping well these last two nights. Emotions are running my sleep wake rhythms, and I too follow along with receptors pining for the positive and constructive natures inherent in my psyche. Your dogs are so beautiful Dirk, I enjoy them very much when you post them with yourself, so much beauty and love shared between you and your precious Wolfhounds. It has been both frightening and tremendously joyous reading your words and following you though as you slay the "dragon", you are a true Knight. We have much to thank you for, more so your incredible strength that we all, we all are learning from. Dinese [=
kansas
Words of wondering. We go through life never thinking about the inevitable end when our health is fine. What you face each waking moment gives pause to much thought. It is truly wonderful that you can share these thoughts with your friend here. I think it is therapeutic for you and for all of us. God Bless you.
auntietk
It's a joy to see you writing and posting again, but even better to see you commenting. That speaks of increased energy, connection, and enough internal "oomph" that there's something left over that faces outward. It makes me glad. :)
hazyl
Your words cover me in thought, always. . . H.
idiot_sphinx
It is one of the worst things to have happen and I am glad that you felt it in your heart to express this with us all here in the gallery. I wish I could say something profound , but there are no words when dealing with the awful effects of Cancer . You have put it perfectly and personally in this well written composition . I wish you all the best in this fight . A wonderful image to go along with this work as well !!~BRAVO~!!
CavalierLady
It touches me so the way you are able to bear your soul this way, Dirk. I don't think I could do that. Surely your writing must be a good way to cope with your thoughts and emotions, and thank you for sharing with us what you are going through. Wishing you the best for your upcoming checkup! And it's wonderful to see your beloved wolfhounds again! God Bless you and your family, Dirk!
bpclarke
This is fantastic. You have said what so many are afraid to say while recovering. Best wishes and prayers on your next check up. May the dragon at last be slain! Bunny
amota99517
Your words are filled with emotion and it is good to release them. I will hold your wellness in my thoughts.
beachzz
I've only begun to know you and what you're living. Sharing this with the world is powerful, I only pray its enough power to let you live for many more years. You have so much to tell us.
Chipka
This is a profound and moving piece of writing...filled with wonderful details and asides, and also exceptionally personal and even contemplative. There's quiet optimism in what you write, not in some over-emotionalized way, but in a more dignified and pragmatic manner. You have a lot to say and a lot to share, and I'm glad for these little glimpses into a life that isn't my own. And as for the exact writing itself, I love the little detail about the film you saw on DVD...it's such a break from the rest of what you've written here, but it fits perfectly.
three_grrr
I look at my brother in law, and wonder if he thinks the thoughts you do. I know physically he is going down the same road, feeling that same tiredness as he faces yet another bout of chemo, waiting for the word that his body has reached the optimum moment for the bone marrow transplant .. he rarely expresses himself in the way you do. I wish he could. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, for helping us .. to cope
leanndra
It has been almost a year now, that Dirk has been absent from this world. We still think of him. I came to see his gallery once again. Where ever he is, I hope that peace is his companion.