Hang In there my friend, you are strong, you have proven that, I only hope you know how special you really are............IMY

It sounds like you've lost yourself, but I guarantee you're still in there, and finding YOU again is totally worth the trouble. At the point in my life where I'd lost myself, I asked myself over and over, many times a day, "If it were just me, and I didn't have anyone else to consider right now, what would I be doing?" And then I would go do that thing, whatever it was. The experience was liberating, and the path back to ME became clear. I hope you find the path back to you. It's important work!

This is a brilliant and harrowing piece of writing. It sounds all-too-familiar, and I agree with Tara: there are times when everything does seem to be absolutely overwhelming--too much noise, too many demands...too much propaganda spewing from magazines and newspapers, books and radios telling you that you aren't supposed to be so selfish as to define your own life...bad propaganda telling you that everyone and everything else is more important than you and that you are selfish and lazy because you violate the Calvinist ideal of working yourself to death and sacrificing everything for your job, for your family, for your friends, for your society. That's the backwards way of doing things. If you can't take time for yourself. If you have to continually worry about other people's futures and well-being, you're denying your own. If you're denying yourself, you're ultimately leaving less of yourself for other people and well...that's no good! This is a brilliant piece of writing that hits a particularly important nail square on the head. Whether it's you or simply a character doesn't really matter because the impact of the work is so very human-centered and it touches on the biggest problem individuals in Western society face. Non-western society isn't much better, but it does have the benefit of being less shrill at least. This is brilliantly realized work. I also read this as a call-to-arms in a way; not to do anything more than to simply sit back. MAKE TIME for one's self and claim that one element of self-determination that too few people even know they can claim. DO something for YOU: one thing every day. Responsibilities remain, of course: you have to work, you have to be there for family (to a lesser degree than you think) and you have to pay bills and all of that mundane stuff...but you should also find ways to have fun, to relax, to rest and recharge. It's easier said than done, but it's not impossible. This is brilliant and evocative work, harrowing in its honesty and I'm glad you shared it here.