I have been thinking about my parents lately, my father who died of HIV/AIDS in 2004 and Mom who was killed by a drunk driver Christmas eve of last year. Both of my folks struggled their whole lives with dependency issues--needless to say this left me with a fractured relationship with both. Still, there was something about them--a lust for life and a flamboyancy that just made people love them in spite of their problems. One woman said of my mother that she would often see mom in the hallways of their shared complex and she'd be dressed to the nines. "Phi, don't hurt nobody!" The woman would say ""I'll try not to baby!" My often replied back... I credit my open out look and willingness to be daring with their spirits and only wished they could have risen above their own demons. But sometimes in life--and as time passes, you tend to find the things that people gave you as opposed to the things they did not...or at least, that is what I am finding in my own journey... I heard this song 32 FLAVORS and for some reason it reminded me of my parents--and also--of me. In many ways this could be my theme song: The song 32 Flavors was initially written and performed by the incomparable Ani diFranco but covered by Alana Davis who sang it so soulfully that I cannot pick a favorite rendition from between the two. Here is Alana's version as well as diFrancos' lyrics: SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEfbL53jhN4 32 FLAVORS squint your eyes and look closer I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am thirty-two flavors and then some and I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head cause someday you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said both my parents taught me about good will and I have done well by their names just the kindness I've lavished on strangers is more than I can explain still there's many who've turned out their porch lights just so I would think they were not home and hid in the dark of their windows til I'd passed and left them alone and god help you if you are an ugly girl course too pretty is also your doom cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room and god help you if you are a pheonix and you dare to rise up from the ash a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while you are just flying back I'm not trying to give my life meaning by demeaning you and I would like to state for the record I did everything that I could do I'm not saying that I'm a saint I just don't want to live that way no, I will never be a saint but I will always say squint your eyes and look closer I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am thirty-two flavors and then some And I'm beyond your peripheral vision So you might want to turn your head Cause someday you might find you're starving and eating all of the words you said