Quick, low quality render, I know. But it has a purpose. Recently a woman I know asked me for advice about her 15 year old son. He's suddenly become very moody, withdrawn, all the typical puberty stuff. She just can't understand what it's all about. So I made this for her to try and give her a view into the mind of an adolescent male. See ladies, for the teenage male the entirety of adolescence feels like having the hottest girl in school laugh at you and tell everyone you know how small your dingle-dangle is. And it doesn't matter what size your equipment really is. And it doesn't matter if the hottest girl in school even knows whether or not you exist, let alone how well endowed you are. This is what adolescence feels like to the teenage male. It sucks. It sucks loudly. It doesn't have to sound logical. It doesn't have to make sense. That's just the way it is. That's the way you're teenage son feels - and he's going to be moody and withdrawn for a few more years so you'd better just get used to it. This is what's going on in his head. Don't doubt me, ladies. I'm right. Am I right, guys? Yes. I'm right. I know things. I'm here to help. It's what I do. It's just one of those many wonderful services that I provide free of charge. You don't need to pay for expensive psychoanalysts or therapy sessions. You don't need to read a thousand books on the subject of puberty. I have just given you the secret to your son's brain. It's all about self-esteem as it relates to his wee-wee. And self-esteem is directly tied into the complex arithmetic of how one views the acceptability of one's tinkle-maker between the ages of 12 and 19. --->And here's an added bit of valuable advice that you would be wise to take note of: As your son is no doubt be obsessing over the size and function of his privates, you can rest assured that he is testing his equipment out on a regular basis all by himself. Don't ever talk to him about it. Don't ever ask him about it. Don't ever act like you're even aware that teenage boys are in the least bit interested in it. Ever. --EVER-- Because no amount of therapy will be able to undo the complete and total destruction of his self-esteem or your relationship with him if you do. Women are not allowed to discuss it with their sons. It's the law. If you need to talk to him about it and there's no husband around to do the talking, rent a man for a few hours to do the talking. Don't think about it. Don't try to figure out if I'm right or wrong. Don't justify it. Just trust me on this. Seriously. The wee-wee is a very delicate subject with teenage guys. Wars have broken out over it. It's one of those conversations that mother's can feel good about foisting onto someone else. It's the right thing to do. I tell you all these unpleasant things because I care. You're welcome. Sincerely yours, Dr. R.A. Killebrew