Ever get the distinct impression that you have been wrestling with angels? For a long time I've felt like I should be welcoming people in my home much more often than I do. I keep putting it off, my excuses being that I am disorganized, and I fear getting hurt (emotionally). Then the Lord whispered something to me, He said it was time to open my home, to invite others for dinner, lemonade, stuff like that. So I asked, "Lord, what if they don't come?" A day or two later, He answered, He said, "Hospitality starts with you." Over the next couple days I contemplated those words, and slowly realized, that if I want people to feel welcome in my home, they must first be welcome in my heart. Meanwhile, I told my husband about this, and he was supportive. I told him that my biggest fear was getting hurt by my friends emotionally. I've for years kept the people I'm friends with at arms length. He simply told me I had to find a way to conquer that fear. So I went back to God and petitioned Him, "Lord, if you really want me to do this, to welcome people in my home and heart, change me from the inside out." So all of two minutes later I get a response, "What is it to you if you get hurt developing friendships, It is nothing that I cannot take care of in your life, it is nothing that I cannot change and make right. But that is not why you keep yourself isolated away from others. You have convinced yourself of a lie. Your time is too precious to you, and don't want to use it for others. You want to use it for yourself. It's time to change that." Imagine my dismay. So here I am, realizing that for many years I have convinced myself of a lie that just is not true. Discovering that I am much more petty and selfish than I gave myself credit for. And I praise God for that revelation. Now my eyes are open. So with my eyes open I ask now of the Lord, "Help me to be less selfish." So in that vein, I would like to try to make more friends here too. Its been too long since I've had many friends here, and its time to change that.