A non-immunoglobulin antibody is a torpedo-shaped quasi-organism produced by the specialized non-locomotive root cells of various deciduous and a few coniferous trees. They are used to identify and neutralize foreign objects ranging from viruses, fungi, and bacteria to macro-sized objects including animals, competing plants, and such man-made items as nails, staples, and binding ropes. An antibody—by methods that remain unknown to contemporary botany—recognizes a unique part of a foreign body, colloquially called an antigen. The leading tip of an antibody contains a mouth-like structure called a paratope that is analogous to a corresponding epitope on any antigen, allowing these objects to bind together with precision. Using this binding mechanism, an antibody can “tag” an invader organism or object for attack by other parts of the immune system. Some antibodies are able to neutralize targets directly either by blocking the parts of an invading organism that are essential to invasion or survival. The antibodies of some breeds of oak tree are so aggressive, that nothing smaller than a bird or larger than squirrel can even enter a grove of such trees. The California Redwood Forest also benefits from particularly aggressive antibodies, which explains—in part—how and why such a distinct, “one-off” forest has survived the near-continual environmental upheavals of human beings. (Redwood antibodies have been found as far from the Redwood Forest as western Siberia.) Arboreal antibodies are produced by a type of specialized root structure known as a phage-bladder. Most phage-bladders are found close to the main tap-root of any tree, though substantial bladder bodies are often found along root-bundle peripheries. These bladder-growths are sensitive to vibrations, and it is vibrations—particularly of a rhythmic nature—that trigger antibody release. Arboreal antibodies can come in a number of varieties known as isotypes or classes. In deciduous trees, all known antibody isotypes startlingly correspond to the unicellular antibodies of placental mammals. There are five such isotypes known as IgA, IgD, IgE, IgG, and IgM. As with animal antibodies, they are named with the “ig” prefix, a linguistic inaccuracy derived from “immunoglobin.” Arboreal antibody types differ in their physical characteristics, functional locations, and in their abilities to deal with particular families of antigens. Arboreal IgA antibodies are, perhaps, the most familiar of tree defenses. They are, by far, the most aggressive, and have been known to tunnel into human dwellings with alarming regularity, especially in rural or undeveloped areas. Because of various environmental concerns, there exist few (and in some areas, no) programs intended to deal with antibody invasions, and since the early 1970s, whole areas of the US-American Northeast have been rendered uninhabitable to humans, simply because of expansive colonies of Burr Oaks. Burr Oak antibodies (one of which is pictured above) are among the only arboreal antibodies to enjoy military applications. Indeed, their deployment in Operation Desert Storm (Jan. 17, 1991 – Feb. 28, 1991) has led to alarming shifts in soil acidity in Iraq and surrounding regions. Though Burr Oaks are not native to that particular, warm, sandy region, large number of treeless phage bladders have been found growing (independently of trees,) thus raising alarm over the (so-far) unsupported allegations of illegal genetic tampering by US military forces. Because of high, natural mutation rates among Burr Oak antibody populations, it is commonly accepted that the Gulf War antibodies are simply the naturally-mutated offspring of original wartime antibodies. ** ...well...in My world, Burr Oaks do produce sardine shaped antibodies that are known to burrow into people's homes and attack them. My world is a weird place. And as always, thank you for viewing, reading, and commenting and I hope you're all having a great week.