Lookin' for some "C" to kill... by hardwaretoad
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Description
First off I'd like to thank everyone for the kind words, offers of prayers or thoughts, and the helping handfuls of strength in this new "adventure" I'm facing. The kind words regarding my render are much appreciated, too, as they always have been.
I found out Friday that my prostate cancer is at "stage 4", this by way of the Hospice people that've been in contact with me in the last week ~ none of the regular oncology Dr.s had ever said it was, just that it was in an "advanced stage" when it was first discovered and the reason for the wonderful migration into my skeleton to such extent.
Having them involved has me caught in a monster of a "Catch 22", a quandary, if you prefer. While they're making sure I'm receiving the correct pain meds (a ton of them... methadone, morphine, et al) I need to try and keep it under control, they'll walk away if I try and pursue ANY type of treatment to actually or aggressively attack the cancer itself to keep from dying.
On the other hand, the oncology doctors won't give me strong enough meds to abate the massive neuropathically induced pain that I've suffering from. For example, after being in ICU for 10 days where they were dosing me with Dilaudid and morphine (amongst others as well), they expected me to deal with that pain when I was released by suggesting I go buy some 325 mg. Tylenol... like that would have any kind of effect. In fact, the last couple of months I've been dealing with it by simply living with it
It's like writing my own death sentence just to get relief and my brain's about ready to explode trying to wrap itself around all of it and what it implies. I'm going to be only 57 next month and I'm not really quite ready to go, ya know? Having someone drop the old "maybe as little as 6 months left" like they did last Friday was like being hit in the head with a "Silly Putty" hammer.
Anyhoo, enough of this bummer crap. I threw V4.2 into a combo of a couple of DM sets and used mostly 'Aery Soul/AlfaseeD things to put her to life. "Alice 3.0" morphs and their "Sisters" mats, also the outfit and hair as well.
All in all I'm fairly pain free and will try and keep you informed as to how I'm hanging in. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers and the well wishes.
Thanks for taking a peek, I wish you all the best.
Comments (17)
Paulienchen
ein toller Render
daggerwilldo
Do I detect a bit of your fight and courage in her? She is a fighter for sure. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I sincerely hope you are afforded what you need to stay as comfortable as possible. The anger in me says find a F-N Doctor out there that understands and has empathy for your pain and will prescribe accordingly. Peace be with you. .
barryjeffer
Damn man, this is terrible news. I can't imagine the pain and frustration you have to be dealing with. I've seen a lot of death and damage in life, and wouldn't wish this kind of torment on anyone. You have all of our best thoughts and prayers here in our home.. little help I know, but it is what we have and can offer. seth and jane
ronmolina
Excellent work! Truly sorry to hear about the other issues.
giulband
well rendered
jaydee_007
I only hope the Pain meds will be as long in supply as the common sense is in short supply. Do you see any options available to go for aggressively attacking the cancer? Wishing you only the best, and some viable options! (Prayers submitted.) Great Image, very well done.
vitachick
Like that title! And yes she looks a though she is quite capable of helping you out! Our prayers are still with you!
Jonrea
Awesome image dude, as I said before, my thoughts and best wishes are with you. Jon
adrie
Awesome image and work my friend.......My prayers are with you my friend.
Cyve
GORGEOUS !
eekdog Online Now!
omg! stage 4? you are in my prayers Don. i need to see a doc myself, i believe i might be having prostate c problems. love your image, hey can you respond by telling me the symptoms you have? god bless my friend.
Palaemon
Very beautiful image. I wish you much courage and I hope sincerely you will be better.
mgtcs
Beautiful image indeed! I really hope you will be better my friend.
adorety
She looks determined to rip away at those cancer cells. Imagine her coursing through your body, destroying the cancerous cells and leaving behind healthy fighter cells. It certainly can't hurt. Excellent image. My heart goes out to you and I hope for the best possible outcome for you. Forget about deadlines and think about live wires.
Savage_dragon
:(
pixeluna
I agree with what adorety wrote-- she is a symbol of a true fighter. Quite the perfect image, Don. The news is quite devastating. Bless you, my dear friend.
GrandmaT Online Now!
Why is it that 90% of the doctors out there managed to pass "Arrogant A**hole 301" with flying colors, but can't remember if "Relating to Patients 101" was even offered?? It is shameful the way you have been treated. Even suggesting Tylenol alone is supremely stupid. I'm not a big fan of most doctors or hospitals as you may have noticed. If I knew what Healthcare System you were in I'd go online and diss them big time! Your render looks a lot like how I feel right now. I wish I could go knock some sense in to these people for you and, on the medically molecular level, slay a bunch of the cancer cells for good measure. But I can't even give you a hug. I think I'll go kick something now.