Special Notes: Would you like this story to continue, or move on to something else, or back to Reli, or Ravens, or Gunslingers? Just wondering if there are any preferences. [The Jack of Diamonds and The Spider] My name is Jack Tumbleweed Wrackleday, but most people just call me The Jack of Diamonds—and I am hanging upside down in a spider web. Most people might think it would be fun to hang upside down in a spider web and to bounce up and down like a circus ride, but in fact it is a most undignified position to be. Hanging upside down in a spider web, though undignified, might be tolerable, if not for the fact that Lilly Palor Tiptus, the girl I like best, is also hanging upside down in the spider web next to me. You might be thinking by now that this story is about a spider, and you would be correct, mostly. The Spider in question is a pleasant girl by the name of Arcina Nella Widow. I have known Arcina Nella Widow since the first day of kindergarten and never would have suspected she harbored a desire to hang me in a spider web. Arcina Nella Widow is the kind of girl that always knew the best jar of glue-paste to nibble on, and the best finger paints for which wall, when the teacher wasn't watching, to paint on, and all the best games to play on the playground. I cannot remember a single time that Arcina Nella Widow did not get along with the other kids, and she always seemed to know what everyone was doing. But—this story doesn't start in kindergarten nibbling on glue-paste. No—not at all, this story began when Lilly Palor Tiptus and I were walking to school. I was listening to Lilly chatter on about shoes and for some reason thought it the most interesting subject, which is odd because I think the subject of shoes is the most boring of things to talk about, but when Lilly talks about something it seems to be the most fascinating of subjects. I have come to the conclusion that there must be more magic in the world than even those of us with magic believe, and that particular magic belongs to girls. I have noticed other boys sitting quietly and raptly listening to this girl or that girl chatter on about subjects that really should be boring and cause the boy to flee screaming in terror—it is a mystery I have yet to fully understand. I can only conclude at this point that girls are capable of naturally casting magic at boys to get them to listen to boring things. Lilly suddenly states that we are going to stop at Ms. Boxnip’s Shoes and Laces Discount Boutique. I tell her that we will be late for school, and she fiddles with that necklace pocket watch of hers and then I stumble slightly. We are no longer where we were, but are now several streets over and standing in front of Ms. Boxnip’s Shoes and Laces Discount Boutique. "Warn me before you do that," I say. Lilly ignores my complaint and pulls the door open with a little jingle of the bell. I start to follow, and run into a spider web. Not the kind of spider web you can see, but the kind that is so thin you can't see it and when you run into it you do that little dance where you jump around and wave your arms about hoping the spider that made the web is no longer attached to the invisible strands. I stumble through the door still trying to pull the invisible spider web off me and dancing around in a little circle. Ms. Boxnip takes one look at me and makes a disgusted expression while grabbing a broom. "I'll have none of that in my shop," Ms. Boxnip says waving the broom around me and pushing the web back out the door. "And don't come back." I assume she is talking to the spider that had the bad grace to spin a web in front of her door and not me. She pulls the door shut and looks at me as if it was all my fault. I imagine the spider is sufficiently scolded because the web annoying me disappears. Ms. Boxnip continues to scowl at me, and I go to look for Lilly. I hear her in one of the aisles of shoes and detour over to that aisle and abruptly stop, it is not Lilly at all, but Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg and Loarn Lemondrop Lipstickle looking at shoes. Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg gives me a scathing look that makes me think the spider might be sitting on top of my head. I check just to make sure. "What are you doing here?" Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg says. "Did you come to bully Loarn some more?" I cannot understand how Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg thinks that I am a bully, or still be mad at me for defending myself, but I shake my head and back out of the aisle. I find Lilly in another aisle looking at a pair of nice white furry boots. Lilly holds one of the nice white furry boots up and I flee the aisle before she can cast a magic spell and make me think looking at nice white furry boots is interesting. I wander back towards the front of the store. Ms. Boxnip has her basket of clean socks on the counter and is carefully inspecting each one. I assume she must think clean socks are interesting. I, however, do not think clean socks are interesting at all and start to turn away to try and find something that is interesting—and I find it. Above the door is a little carving of a three-leaf clover, I think it might be the playing card symbol of the Clubs. I stare at it for a moment wondering how I never noticed it before, and then I look at Ms. Boxnip. She is watching me closely, and I realize she is one of the Club cards. I don't know how I know; it is just one of those things you suddenly know. I also know the Hearts are my enemies, and the Diamonds are my friends, but Luke J. Kuel said the Clubs and Spades change sides all the time, she might be the enemy, and I've learned the hard way that The Great Game is lethal. My shoulders tense up and eyes narrow slightly. I take a step back as if expecting Ms. Boxnip to jump over the counter and attack me with her basket of socks. "That was a very foolish thing to do, Jack of Diamonds," Ms. Boxnip says. I hear Lilly shouting, and then she is at my side pulling my arm. "No—No, please, he didn't know what he was doing, please," Lilly shouts. "It is too late, he has already dealt the hand, and every card in town has heard it," Ms. Boxnip says. Dealt a hand? I am certainly confused and unsure of what I did. Ms. Boxnip holds her hands crossed in front of her, and her lips do that thing where they get very thin and nearly disappear somewhere into her face. "I am disappointed in you, young Jack of Diamonds," Ms. Boxnip says. "I let you change your fate and choose your own socks, and this is how you thank me." Choose my socks? What is she talking about? "Jack, just fold and beg mercy, she can do worse to us than just open the Wonky Box," Lilly says. "Why? I'm the Jack of Diamonds, and you are the Queen of Diamonds, and she is only one card." Lilly makes a little pointing motion to behind us, and I turn my head. Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg and Loarn Lemondrop Lipstickle are standing behind us; Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg looks angry but also a little sad, and Loarn Lemondrop Lipstickle is looking at me as if he is just waiting for the word to pummel me to the ground. "They are the Jack of Clubs and the Queen of Clubs," Lilly says. What? Oh, this is bad. "That's not all, Jack," Lilly says pointing towards the front window of the store. I can see Luke J. Kuel leaning against the dusty red brick building across the street staring at the Shoe store. "You dealt the hand, so Ms. Boxnip gets to draw first," Lilly says. "She will draw the Wild Card and make a four flush, and then we're dead." "But, four cards don't win a hand, do they?" I say. "Not in a harmless card game, but this is The Great Game; a hand is played with whatever cards are available," Lilly says. "Just fold and maybe she won't take your socks away." There with the socks again, I think there is much about this Great Game I do not understand. Now I have to worry about my socks? A boy should not have to worry about his socks; this is just too confusing. "You can... you know... just use your magic?" I say. "Jack, if I even look like I'm about to use my magic she will use hers first and take your socks." Ms. Boxnip keeps her hands folded but raises them up, and Lilly clutches my arm; her face is white as a ghost. I was thinking about trying to use my luck card, but Lilly is really scared. I drop my eyes. “I fold,” I say. Ms. Boxnip unfolds her hands and holds her right palm out, and the Wonky Box appears in her hand. I've lost The Great Game. I must be the worst Jack of Diamonds there has ever been. "I will give you a choice, young Jack of Diamonds," Ms. Boxnip says. "Your socks or the Wonky Box." I have no idea what she is talking about—socks—what has my socks to do with this? I look at Lilly and see she is almost crying from fear. "All of our magic is the tiniest bit of magic from the fifty-three Gods," Lilly says. "Ms. Boxnip's magic comes from the Goddess of Love—get it?" "No, I don't." "There isn't a boy that grew up in this town that hasn't chosen his socks from Ms. Boxnip's basket, and I was so happy when it was my turn, and you picked me," Lilly says. "I very much hoped you would choose me." Understanding hit me on the head as if I had just been smacked with a hammer, and I was somewhat horrified to think that everyone in town was with someone because they had chosen magic socks from a basket. Ms. Boxnip obviously knew what I was thinking from the horrified expression on my face. "You can't choose a sock that doesn't want to be chosen by you," Ms. Boxnip says. "I understand now," I say, "and if those are my choices, I choose Lilly, keep the Wonky Box and do whatever you want with it." Lilly almost knocked me down with a hug and even though the situation was dire, I grinned stupidly. The little bell over the door jingled, and I looked up to see Mr. Soupstone enter the Shoe store. "Did you find out what you wanted to know?" Mr. Soupstone says. "Yes, he is just like his father and all the other Jack of Diamonds," Ms. Boxnip says. "He thinks with his heart and not his head, and that makes him a very good boy, but not a very good Gate Guardian, my vote remains to pass his card to another." Ms. Boxnip hands the Wonky Box to Mr. Soupstone, and he shoves it into his top hat, leaving me even more confused. "The other Ace’s vote to leave the card with him," Mr. Soupstone says. "Hearts voted for him because I believe he sees an easy victory against Jack, and Spades wants the game to continue naturally, I don't know if he is truly with us or against us." "This will be our undoing, mark my word," Ms. Boxnip says. "There are too many fighting to open the Box, we are going to lose eventually, but it will take someone like Jack to bring our world back from the insanity afterwards," Mr. Soupstone says. "Very well then," Ms. Boxnip says. "You have allowed a fair trial and vote, I abide with the decision." Now I understand what just happened, and I am starting to think I don't much like being the Jack of Diamonds anymore. I think Mr. Soupstone misinterprets my anger for confusion, but I think Lilly looks genuinely confused—for a change, and that surprises me. I thought Lilly knew everything about The Great Game. "The Ace’s have an agreement," Mr. Soupstone says as if that explains everything perfectly. "Now, I think all of you should be in school." I am done with magic socks, Wonky Boxes, Periwinkle snails, Wild Cards, and the whole thing and head for the door. All I really want is to do some nice boring math and try to pretend I am a normal good boy with double-knotted..., you know what, I'm not interested in my double-knotted laces anymore. Maybe I'll single-knot them from now on just to be defiant. Lilly follows me out the door, and I can see her watching me out of the corner of my eye. "You're mad, aren't you?" Lilly says. "Yes, I get what happened. I was being tested and don't like it," I say. Lilly jumped in front of me and walked backwards but facing me. "Ms. Boxnip knows what she's doing; we are a good match, don't you think?" "Yes, but that means so is Teme Raddipikaen Waterlogg and Loarn Lemondrop Lipstickle, though I have no idea why, and so will the Jack and Queen of Hearts, and the Jack and Queen of Spades." "You're right, they will all be a challenge for us, Ms. Boxnip is being neutral and will have made sure we are all equal in magic, also I was surprised Teme was so easily ready to go against us," Lilly says. "She was obeying her Ace," I say. "Would you obey Mr. Soupstone?" Lilly says. "Of course, he's our Ace," I say, realizing Lilly's point. "So, what we know now is that the Aces are in charge, like Generals. I don't think we are likely to play a hand directly against any of them." "The other Diamonds will be with us, of course," Lilly says, "and the Hearts are against us, and the Clubs don't support us, but they aren't against us, yet." "That leaves the Spades," I say. By now I am sure you are wondering what all this has to do with hanging upside down from a spider web. Well, everything actually. If the Aces hadn't made me mad by putting me on trial, what I did next would never have happened. After all, I didn't ask to play The Great Game, I didn't ask to be the Jack of Diamonds, I didn't ask to play insane magical card games that can kill you if you lose—and I certainly did not ask for magical socks to find me a girlfriend. I could have told Lilly I liked her all by myself and without the help of my socks. "Let's ditch school," I say. "Jack! That's not a very good boy thing to do," Lilly says. "I'm not feeling like a very good boy right now," I say, waving my arms about, I ran into another spider web, they are all over today. "How come I keep running into spider webs and not you?" "Guess you're lucky." Lilly grins at her little joke. "Very funny," I say. I head the opposite direction from school and follow the road out of town. The day is clear, and it isn't snowing, and the snow trucks have cleared all the roads. I think it a perfect day to ditch school, but it is a very unusual thing for me to do, and I wonder why I'm even doing it. I feel a pang of guilt and push it aside. "Where are we going?" Lilly says. "Let's go to the pond and check the ice, it should be thick enough to skate," I say. "We don't have our ice skates," Lilly says. I grin a lopsided grin. "I wish two sets of ice skates were left at the pond so we can go skating." "Jack, you shouldn't use your magic like that," Lilly scolds me. The path out to the pond is trampled down from other kids and the walk easy. I run into several more spider webs on the way; it is starting to get annoying. I am still pulling at spider webs when we arrive at the pond. I tap my foot on the ice, and it is thick and strong, and thin trails of previous skaters on the pond is further proof the ice is safe. "Hey Jack, look," Lilly holds up two pairs of ice skates sitting on a little bench next to the fire barrel used to warm up cold skaters. The fire in the barrel wasn't lit, but there is a nice pile of wood a short distance away. But—I'm suddenly no longer interested in ice skating. Another spider web has attached itself to my arm, but this time I can just see the spider web, and it is leading off into the woods. "Let's go this way," I say. "I thought we were going to skate?" Lilly says. I follow the spider web strand leading into the woods, and Lilly drops the skates and follows me. The spider web gets thicker as I follow it. Lilly catches up with me and puts a hand out to touch the spider web. "I can see it now," Lilly says. "Jack, this is a strange spider web. I say nothing and keep following the web. Something tells me to turn around and leave, but I can hear a voice calling me, beckoning. I have to follow it. "Jack, we should go now," Lilly says. "Something’s not right." I can barely hear Lilly and keep walking; the sound of the voice is too loud. Lilly grabs my arm and reaches for her necklace pocket watch, but too late. We are between two trees and a huge spider web hits us both at the same time. Lilly struggles to reach her pocket watch, but the web is sticky and holds her hand away from reaching her magic. "Jack, wake up!" Lilly shouts. I don't struggle; it is as if I am standing in a thick fog and my head is clouded. "I know what this is now," Lilly is trying to get me to hear her. "Jack, it's the Queen of Spades; her magic comes from the Goddess of Fate; this is Fate's web." "Huh? Who?" I say, and shake my head trying to clear the fog. "I don't know who the Queen of Spades is yet," Lilly says. The answer to that question doesn't take long to appear. A girl steps out from behind a tree, and for a moment I think I see both a girl and a giant eight-legged spider. I shake my head, and I recognize her. "You?" Lilly says. "You're a nice girl, why would you do this?" The girl walks towards us, ignoring Lilly completely, and stops in front of me. She waves her hand and the spider web flips upside down and lifts me and Lilly up into the air until I am looking into Arcina Nella Widow's eyes. The fog lifts from my head, and I understand the situation. "You can't win," I say. "We are a Jack and Queen, and you are a Queen, and nobody else is here, so we win." "Oh Jack, I always was better at games than you," Arcina Nella Widow says. "You just don't understand how The Great Game works." "You mean you're better at cheating than me," I say. She smiles kindly. "I don't hate you, Jack, and I don't want to hurt you, but magic belongs in the world and you are going to open the Wonky Box now." "No," I say. "What if I say, please?" "Never." Arcina Nella Widow sighs and reaches into her pocket and retrieves a small jar, and then pulls a long needle from her hair. She dips the needle into the jar and pulls it out. The needle is covered in a gooey black liquid. "This is a very poisonous spider venom, Jack," Arcina Nella Widow says. "One little sting and the person stung goes to sleep and never wakes up." "So, you're going to kill me," I say. "Do it and get it over with, just let Lilly go, I'm the one you want." Arcina Nella Widow shakes her head. "Oh no, Jack, if you die your card just goes to someone else and The Great Game continues. No—you have to open the Wonky Box, it is Lilly I don't need." "I wish Lilly could escape," I shout. Nothing happens, and I remember I foolishly used my daily luck card to get the ice skates. I feel so stupid for wasting my magic like that. Arcina Nella Widow lifts the needle to Lilly's neck and looks at me. "Open the Box, Jack, and I will let you both go," Arcina Nella Widow says. I think there is no choice, if I don't open the Wonky Box, Lilly will die. I decide and am about to say the words but a coldness so deep comes over me and all I can do is chatter my teeth. The needle in Arcina Nella Widow's hand shatters like a broken icicle and falls harmlessly in pieces to the ground. Arcina Nella Widow spins around. "No, this is my hand, I'm about to win." I look through the trees and what I see coming is a pure living terror. I see a man in long robes, but his face is a corpse, and then a skull, and then a man, and back to a corpse. I don't need Lilly to tell me where his magic comes from, he is the living incarnation of death, and I am certain this is the Ace of Spades. The man glides towards us, and Arcina Nella Widow backs up against a tree. The Spectre of Death stops in front of me; I can feel his cold breath of death on my face. He speaks and a cold fog falls from his mouth as he does. "No, daughter, you are not about to win," the Death Ace says. "You have committed a garish and foul act by drawing a hand with the intent only to cheat and cause death. This hand is voided." The Death Ace runs his hand along the spider web, and it breaks apart into pieces and Lilly and I tumble to the ground. "Magic is a natural thing of the world, daughter, and should be set free, but the next time you draw a hand that shames the Suit of Spades, you will play that hand against me," the Death Ace says. Arcina Nella Widow turned as white as... well, death himself. The Death Ace looks down at me and Lilly holding each other and trembling. "Go now, young Diamonds, you both should be in school." We didn't have to be told twice. We bolted through the woods at a dead run, which by the way I completely understand the meaning of now, and we didn't stop once. Lilly and I hit the front door of the school and in the dash for our desks we knocked over two teachers and a fair number of students. When Death himself tells you to go to school, it is best to take that order very seriously. Lilly volunteered us for a week of detention, and I didn't argue. Well, that's the story of the Spider. I'm the Jack of Diamonds, and I hope to see you again soon. Bye now.