" This is Snotting on the Wold, Channel 10 News and we interupt this, what looks like a rather mediocre ' Gallery Post ', to bring you this Newsflash....as we take you live to our political correspondent Aikasta Vote, outside the Palace of Westminster". "Thanks Greg, yes I'm standing outside the Palace of Westminster where moments ago I was handed this exclusive bulletin. After months of secret meetings and quiet naps behind closed doors, members of the House of Lords have reached a deal with The Peoples Postcode Lottery that will revolutionise politics in Englandshire. Using the ultra-secret " House of Lords Clause 9", unknown even to the members of The House of Commons, they have passed the "One Man....All The Votes".. Act. As soon as the deal was struck, an underfootman for the Lords was despatched at a brisk jog, accompanied by an armed escort, travelling along the embankment 33 miles ( as the crow flies ) to Henley on Thames, there he plucked a feather from the arse of a Royal Swan and carried it back to the Lords Chambers. The feather was sharpened to a quill, dipped in the ceremonial ink well containing Henry VIII blood, ( actually, the blood dried up centuries ago, it's really red Quink ink but it's the tradition that counts) and the details of the "One Man....All The Votes" Act were inscribed in flowing cursive text onto parchment....thus passing into Englandshire Law. In centuries old tradition, the parchment was then photocopied 300 times, the first copy was rolled, tied with a red silk ribbon and sealed with hot candle wax from the ceremonial green candle usually reserved for lighting their Lordships cigars, brought especially, for this occassion, from it's usual place in the Members Lounge of the Itchinknob Club. This precious document was then entrusted to The Lords Runner, ( 93 yr old, Fred "Throbbing" Bunnion ), who, fleet of foot, carried the document from The Palace of Westminster, through the busy streets of London to Downing Street, just around the corner....I now pass you to our lead reporter, Beverley Moistbeaver, with the details, live in Downing Street, just down the road...." "...she's the one who needs sending down the road, I mean, THAT accent and those boobs are sooooo fake!!...what?...oh..beeep!!....thanks I...KASS...TA...yes, you're watching Channel 10 and I'm Beverley Moistbeaver, live outside 10 Downing Street. The Lords Runner arrived a short time ago, battered and bruised from his tortuous journey, on the way struck by several cars, a London bus and an Ambulance. Several pedestrians were also injured when the aforementioned London bus was forced to swerve & mount the sidewalk in order to hit The Lords Runner. Unperturbed by his ordeal, the plucky Runner knocked on the door of No 10, the door was opened by Prime Minister David Cameron who accepted the rolled up piece of paper with a quizical smile. He opened it, read it and his smile changed to rage as, in an uncharacteristic fit of peek, he blugeoned and kicked The Lords Runner into unconsciousness before giving an 'archers' salute and slamming the door. The Lords Runner has since been taken by paramedics to Princess Mary Hospital For Victims Of The Prime Ministers Temper, where his condition is said to be "comfortable considering his appalling condition". So ! what's it all about ?, well, written into law, the Act comes into force as of today and changes the Englandshire voting system in a way many pundits are calling " The biggest shake up since the Reformation" and yet others are calling "About bloody time", but how does it affect you on May 7th ?