I Remember Mom by yomah

2D • Atmosphere/Mood • posted on Feb 17, 2016

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Description

February is always colder for me. Memories chill me to the bone. No matter what people say, some memories NEVER fade. Some are burned into your psyche FOREVER. I remember trying to support you but I was too small. Too young. Too weak, to save you. Till I see you again, ~all my love~ yo-yo

Comments (3)

whispering_wind_F38

5:47PM | Wed, 17 February 2016

**This is so sad... yet, beautiful. Children always feel like they can save their parents, but they never can... because they are just wee children. I love the nickname yo-yo ~ even tho your mom left, and in a very scary & upsetting way (especially for a wee child and family) ~ I have a feeling she felt "you would be better off without her." Tho she will never know that was not so.

When they found a inoperable tumor on my spine (cancer)... I was at stage 3, nearly 4. The tumor cost me mobility from lower trunk (body) and down. I needed help with so much. I have 3 children.. my youngest were 15 and 6 at the time. I must admit, there were times I felt as a huge burden to my wonderful husband and children. I felt, I was causing my entire family - fear. My 6 year old daughter had a hard time while i was in the hospital for 30+ days. She cried a lot. Everyone was so afraid - I had chemo, radiation.. etc. It was a long battle, but i won - tho I will never get the use of my legs back.

From the view of a parent, a mom - sometimes we really believe someone we love the very, very, most ~ would be better off if we were gone. That the pain of whatever was happening at the time would go away. But the world doesn't work that way - the hurt left behind makes a child wonder... was it something i did? did she not love me? was i a bad boy? is it my fault?

I would like to speak to you via your mom. No. No. No. Never. She made a very tragic decision. Maybe.. with time gone by - she would have been ok. She loved you... Alot - I just know it. Cause you were her yo-yo. Her wee yo-yo. And you shall always be her yo-yo. If I could, I would hug you now. The pain of that day, that child ~ shall never go away. Hopefully, that day can fade some.. and you focus on the life, the good times, the love of the one who called you yo-yo. I'm sure there were more wonderful days... then terrible. Focus on the happy. Remember her smile, her smell, hear her laughter, remember her stories. Focus on the light of who she was... and not on the saddest day of her/your life.**

Much Love, Huggles, & Blessings to you and that wee yo-yo still inside. Brenda

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