Can I get into heaven...? by yomah

2D • Atmosphere/Mood • posted on Feb 19, 2016

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Description

This is NOT a cry for help or a cry for attention, thou EVERY suicide is a cry that goes unheard. It's just that a lot can go through your head sitting in a dark room alone. Staring at the glowing tip of my cigarette, knowing I should quit, knowing it is slowly killing me. I think back to a comment Anna said years ago, "You know Yo, smoking is just another form of suicide, it's just takes a lot longer!" Staring down at the scars on my arms and wrists, knowing what I do, knowing I shouldn't. I think of my Mother and Sister and HOPE they are in heaven. I pray that my father rots in Hell some day. But first you need to BELIEVE. All I know is HELL on earth. ~yO

Comments (5)

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nun2brite

2:32PM | Fri, 19 February 2016

Hope you quit, hope you can turn your hell around as well.

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ArtistKimberly

4:33PM | Fri, 19 February 2016

An Outstanding Image,

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daggerwilldo

8:37PM | Fri, 19 February 2016

I feel for you. I know about addiction and I know I have done a hell of a lot more to contribute to my own hell on earth than I can say has ever been done to me by man or God. Still hell sucks and no one wants to be there when life twists that dagger in deeper.

The good news is that if you have ever asked the question, then somewhere inside there is a believer and there is hope.

63+ years of screwing up has taught me that (1) you will pay back in spades for every bad decision you make. (2) when you finally get the clarity that you own the whole sh*t sandwich, regardless of who is to blame, change can come. Changes by you, FOR YOU, can happen and you can make the decision not to take another bite of that sandwich.

Please don't take this as preaching, I am just saying.

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Arrogathor

3:31AM | Sat, 20 February 2016

I thought it was an anti-smoking ad. I died when I was 16. I was reading Plato's Socratic dialogue about the execution of Socrates, when he got to the point where Socrates accepts his fate and refuses to be rescued, I realized that if someone as praiseworthy as Socrates could commit suicide like that, it was alright. At that moment, my heart stopped beating. As my vision slowly contracted and darkness swept in, I debated with myself on whether to live or not. Eventually I decided to live. Wish I could say things got better. A few decades later I tried to be Catholic. I was left to die without proper medical care which was kind of depressing. An angel felt my pain, came to see me, and was confused, seems I was not on their list for salvation, baptism or not. So, who cares. In a very real sense, the fault is with the world. In Japan and Ancient Rome, suicide was frequently seen as a praiseworthy act. Christianity is the single most genocidal and hate filled religion in the history of the world. In it's heyday it makes Muslim terrorists look downright nice. If Christians get to go to heaven, would decent people want to go there?

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