Sun, Dec 22, 7:11 AM CST

The Forgotten Ruins, Part 16

Writers Fantasy posted on May 08, 2016
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Forgotten Ruins part 16 I decided to rework this chapter, I just wasn't happy with it. I feel it works better now, hopefully you agree. Entering the portal with Hayden slung over my shoulder probably wasn't the best idea, but here we are. I expected to be hit with a wave of overwhelming heat, but the truth is I can't feel any discernible difference in temperature. This leads me to believe that the entity calling herself Kindle is somehow responsible for our protection from the heat. She said she would aid me, but it would be at a great cost to herself and in doing so she would be unable to contact me again for quite some time. With time running short I accepted her offer risking further aid from her. This is unfortunate because I have so many unanswered questions I believe she may hold the answers to. We seem to be passing through what I can only describe as a field of torment. There are men, women and children bound by chain and being eternally tortured by flame and heat, unable to move more than a foot in any direction. Whatever is protecting us from the heat is not protecting these poor souls, they are in agony. I can't help but wonder who they are and what there crimes were to be treated in such a manner, but then what crimes could children possibly commit? The exit portal is further away than I originally thought, it seems my brothers have already exited up ahead. Luckily Hayden doesn't weigh much because the terrain is rocky and rough making travel slow and difficult with her over my shoulder. Her little blue minions are staying close, I can feel one on each side of me with their hands staying in constant contact with my armor. I give them credit, they are brave and loyal little creatures. I wish Hayden wasn't so scared, she is literally terrified, her body is trembling uncontrollably. But can I blame her? This does appear to be hell or some other dimension similar in appearance. I have only known Hayden a short while, but in that time it keeps becoming more apparent that she is not suited for this type of life, if Tate is dead then I fear what will become of her. She will not be able to remain with my brothers and myself. As the portal draws nearer the fields of torment lessen and now an enormous city of remarkable architecture looms in the distance. I can't believe my eyes, a city of death and flame resides in whatever realm this is, but it seems vacant, where are it's residents? Or were the people we passed in the torment fields it's one time inhabitants? But if so...who did this to them? "Hayden, are you seeing this?" Asks Hades. With her shapely bottom inches from my face I both see and feel her immediately clench up. "No, I don't want to see, I just want to leave this place." She says. The portal is before us now and I could easily step through, but my instincts are telling me that she needs to face her fear and step through on her own. I stop walking and immediately feel her body tense once more. "I'm sorry little one, but I can't carry you any further. My body has reached its limit." Says Hades. I gently begin to remove her from my shoulder and to my surprise she doesn't fight me, her feet connect with the ground and her beautiful green eyes begin opening slowly. The range of emotions that cross her face in a fraction of a second is remarkable. It starts with what appears to be relief, slung over my shoulder for that length of time must have been brutal on her abdomen. Then her eyes wander taking in the scenery and her eyes widen in amazement, but as her brain registers what it is that she is seeing her expression then turns to horror. She recoils hugging herself tightly for protection. "It's okay." I tell her. "We have reached the exit." "What are we waiting for? Let's leave this horrible place!" She says. I see the urgency on her face, her sheer desire to flee and it excites me! My adrenaline surges and wicked desires begin racing through my mind. "Damn it!" What is wrong with me? Why do these thoughts keep invading my mind? This is not who I am, it can't be! "What is it? What's wrong?" Asks Hayden. Before I can reply the two minions start gesturing wildly and pointing at the portal. Both Hayden and myself immediately turn to see what has them so worked up, to my horror I see the portal flickering in and out of existence. It's closing! "RUN!" Shouts Hades. The entire group sprints for the portal and though Hades is the first to reach it he stops and turns to help the others through first. When Titan is safely through Hades leaps with all his strength, he watches in horror as the portal vanishes. He closes his eyes and prays he was fast enough. If he was he should be with his companions momentarily, but if he was even a fraction of a second to slow he will be trapped here in this hell dimension or even worse he could be trapped in some in between pocket dimension of non existence. "Thud." With his eyes still closed Hades body slams to the ground, fear rushes over him in a way he is unfamiliar with. What if I didn't make it? He thinks to himself in horror.

Comments (5)


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ontar1

5:49PM | Sun, 08 May 2016

Fantastic scene and chapter!

)

ldgilman

6:51PM | Sun, 08 May 2016

Excellent rework, most of it at the end, I take it??

KRYKOS

7:40PM | Sun, 08 May 2016

Most of it yes. But really I wanted to change the direction of Hades emotions towards Hayden, it was to dark, I didn't like it.

)

GrandmaT

7:17PM | Mon, 09 May 2016

Fabulous!

)

mandala

2:04PM | Tue, 10 May 2016

Fantastic image!

)

Wolfenshire

3:43PM | Tue, 10 May 2016

Ah, I sense some changing relationships with the characters. Well done, I like what you're doing, it keeps the interest level up.

Robert Wolf

Gallery Coordinator

Writers, Photoshop, Filter Forge, Digital Comics


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