Sat, Dec 28, 11:34 PM CST

Baestar, Chapter 1

Writers Science Fiction posted on Apr 14, 2020
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Special Notes:

I know I said I wasn't going to post individual chapters, but things have changed. People are stuck at home and bored. I think maybe it's better to post what I have to help with the boredom. Enjoy the new story. All images are just pixabay stock in public domain.

Baestar, Chapter 1

Chapter 1 The boy’s hair was plastered to his forehead as he lifted his face to the dark sky. Rain rolled down his cheeks and under his jacket as he shook his head to clear the water from his eyes. The tropical storm was picking up intensity, and with it the ocean beyond was beginning to crash over the rocks. He turned his attention back to the ground and swung the handpick again, trying to loosen the object buried in the sand. The pick struck against the rocks with a thunking sound that was nearly drowned out by the increasing wind. He cupped his hand and pulled at the sand around the object; it was starting to look like a sea chest, or maybe a money chest, the kind that was once used to carry heavy gold coins. A wave crashed over the rocks and a deluge of water swept across the rocky beach. He braced himself against the wave and redoubled his efforts. He couldn’t leave whatever the object and its precious contents were, by morning his find would have been washed back out to sea and would be lost forever. The small island, barely more than an atoll, was positioned as it was amongst the powerful southern ocean currents and the best place to find treasure carried up from the ocean floor, but the sea didn’t offer her treasures for long, he had to take what he found when it was offered. The radio inside his heavy rain jacket crackled, demanding his attention. He looked back at the ship holding position off the small island. The Captain would no doubt be wanting to leave. Bae reached into his jacket and using his hood to protect the radio from the rain, lifted it to his ear. “Master Bae, we have to leave,” shouted the Captain. Baestar Tares was his full name, but he usually went by Bae. He shouted over the wind into the radio. “Take the ship to the other side of the island. There’s a lagoon where we can weather the storm. I’ll meet you there.” “Your father pays me to keep you out of trouble, you need to get back here.” “I found something, I can’t leave yet. Go. I’ll be fine.” Bae shoved the radio back inside his jacket and turned back to the object in the sand. He dropped the handpick on the ground and used both hands to dig at the sand like a dog digging up a bone. Another wave crashed over the barrier rocks. He had to grab the emerging chest to keep from being swept away. The force of the tide, his weight, and a little bit of luck dislodged the edge of the object. “Yes! It is a money chest!” The wave drained away between the rocks as he pulled at the chest with all his might. He reached for the handpick, but it was gone. He grinned, maybe he would find his own handpick on some future treasure hunt. He flipped around and using the rocks for leverage, kicked at the chest until he felt the sand at last release his treasure. He felt more than heard the next wave and turned his head to look. A massive wave was only seconds from hitting the barrier of giant rocks that protected this section of the beach. He plunged his hands into the murky water around the chest, and finding the bottom edge lifted the chest from the sand. He frowned. The box was far too light to contain any coins, but perhaps there was something else inside of equal value. There was no time to think on it though, the wave hit the rocks and rose to a staggering height. He clutched the chest to himself and ran. The dark wall of seawater came down as he stumbled across the smaller rocks covering the beach, then it was dark and he was underwater. He tumbled with the wave as the powerful current dragged him along the beach. His body tumbled across the rocks covering the beach and lights exploded behind his eyes as he fought to remain conscious. The air was forced from his lungs as he slammed again and again against the ground. The force of the water tried to pull the chest out of his arms. He tightened his grip on the chest and kicked out with his legs, looking for a rock to use as an anchor. Then as suddenly as it had begun, the water receded and he gulped in air. He was lying on smooth sand. He rolled over and pushed himself to his knees, shaking his head to clear the dizziness, fairly certain he had banged his head on every rock on the beach. A wave of nausea and disorientation caused him to throw up the water he had swallowed. His fingers clutched at the smooth sand. How was there smooth sand? He looked to his side and saw in the illumination of lightening a long stretch of sand clear of rocks. Where was the rocky beach? His legs wobbled as he forced himself to stand. He didn’t understand at first what he was looking at. The rocky beach was ahead of him...but...how far had the wave dragged him? Where did the white sandy beach come from? Realization dawned with a stab of fear through his chest. The wave had receded and left him beyond the tide line on the smooth sand that would normally be under the water. But, waves didn’t recede this far unless...tsunami! He forced his legs to work and sprinted for the rocky beach. The mango grove beyond the beach would provide some initial protection. He didn’t look back, if he had, he might have frozen in fear at the massive wave now bearing down on him. He hoped the ship had made it around to the other side of the small island where it would be protected. His feet barely touched the ground as he ran. He could hear the approaching wave now, following him across the rocks like the roar of a jet engine. Every bone in his body ached and his muscles screamed at the abuse, but he knew the only thing behind him would be a watery death among the treasures he so often searched for beneath the ocean. What would be left of him? A belt buckle? The metal of the knife at his waist? The rocky beach yielded to a sandy incline and then ahead of him was the darkness of the trees. He plunged into that darkness less than a second ahead of the wave. He heard the snapping of trees as they crashed around him. The trees were breaking the lethal wave only enough to give him an extra few seconds to run. And then the wave was on him. The water was suddenly above his head and he was swept forward with the flood. He used the chest he held to break his impacts with still standing trees ahead of him. He felt the ground under his feet for just a moment and pushed upward, breaking the surface and gasping for air. The flood carried him through the small forest of trees. A log brushed passed him and he hooked an arm over it. The flood was a churning nightmare that lasted forever as he hurtled across the small island. Something screamed at him from behind. He twisted around. His mind took several seconds to comprehend what was screaming at him. A small spider monkey was perched on the log and screaming in fear at him. A glint of light at the monkey’s neck caught his attention. A collar? Was it a domesticated pet? Where had the monkey come from? The only thing he could think of was another ship was out beyond the island, perhaps sinking, and the monkey had been separated from its owner and swept ashore. Perhaps its owner was even here somewhere in the flood waters. “It’s okay, little guy, come here.” The monkey hesitated, then decided the boy wasn’t a threat and skittered along the log and wrapped itself around Bae’s neck. The monkey screamed again, looking at something in front of them. Bae followed the monkey’s gaze and saw they were headed directly for a large tree. He kicked his feet and the log turned just enough that the leading edge caught the tree at an angle and they flipped around in a wide arc. Debris circled around them in the maelstrom of flood waters as Bae, monkey, and log continued their journey across the island. He felt a change in the direction of the water as they reached the end of the grove of trees. He realized too late where they were and futilely tried to steer the log away from the cliff. He lost his grip on the log, and with the monkey still wrapped around his neck, went over the cliff that was usually just a light waterfall of freshwater, but was now a raging river that emptied into the maelstrom of the lagoon. He kicked with all his might and was again on the surface, trying to swim with one hand. He considered for a moment letting go of the chest, but then everything would have been for nothing. The monkey scrambled and clawed to sit on top of his head. The water was pushing him away from the island, soon he would be out of reach of land. He needed both hands to swim if he were to make it back to the island. He started to loosen his grip on the chest as something dark appeared in front of him. He tried to kick away but slammed into it hard. He went under the waves and knew if he didn’t let go of the chest, he would drown here. He looked up at the surface above him and saw a bright light. Was this what it was like to die? Was he supposed to go into the light? There were people hovering above him. Angels come to take him to heaven. Something grabbed him under his arms and pulled. He tightened his grasp on the chest as he was pulled up to the surface. It was the ship! They were using the long pole-hooks for grabbing the docks and maneuvering the ship to its mooring. A net was thrown over the side and he wrapped his free arm through the netting, then someone was next to him in the water. “I’ve got you, hold on,” shouted the man. It was Gunther, one of the deck hands. Bae could have wept as the netting lifted him up. He was being pulled up like a fish caught from the sea. The net lifted him over the rail and lowered him to the deck. He released the chest and let it slip out of his arms. His arms ached from holding it so long. Massi, a boy the same age as Bae, pulled the netting away and then moved aside to let the Captain kneel next to Bae. “I hope whatever is in that chest was worth risking your life,” said the Captain as he checked Bae for injuries. “Me too,” whispered Bae. “I’m giving all of you a raise.” “The crew would be happy if you just paid them the last two months wages you owe them.” The Captain stood and motioned to Massi. “Help him into the wheel house and then go get my medical kit, he is going to need a lot of stitches.” “Yes, Captain,” said Massi, reaching out a hand to help Bae up. “And you’re not keeping that monkey, it goes to a zoo,” added the Captain.

Comments (18)


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crender

3:03AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

Amazing !!!

)

PandaB5

3:22AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

Ah. Luckily Bae can swim. Very interesting story so far. (The picture matches perfectly - even if it is stock.)

)

OkrimSlava

3:22AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

very well.

)

Radar_rad-dude

4:41AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

Off to a great start! Now you have my curiosity up! What the h... is in that chest! Well done, Wolf!

)

giulband

5:04AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

The story is absolutely synthetically represented by the image. Beautifully dynamic image and graphics at the same time.

)

ontar1

5:52AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

Fantastic story and scene!

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jendellas

9:14AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

Great start. The monkey has to go :0))))

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eekdog

11:30AM | Tue, 14 April 2020

your off to a whole new world in this story series.

)

RodS

8:01PM | Tue, 14 April 2020

Great and action-packed introduction to Bae's new adventures! Awww.... After all that let him keep the monkey! LOL

)

Madbat

9:08PM | Tue, 14 April 2020

A monkey? Poor kid, he's going to find out they make lousy pets.

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anitalee

3:34AM | Wed, 15 April 2020

Excellent

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donnena

7:22PM | Thu, 16 April 2020

great job!

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bakapo

1:46PM | Mon, 20 April 2020

Wow, what an exciting first chapter! I hope he gets to keep the monkey. There better be treasure in that chest after all this.

)

VEDES

12:49AM | Tue, 21 April 2020

PERFECT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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STEVIEUKWONDER

2:49AM | Thu, 23 April 2020

Your story is intriguing! I hope it ends well for all concerned!

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Yolie

2:51AM | Fri, 01 May 2020

Superbe, intéressant ....

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anahata.c

7:24PM | Mon, 04 May 2020

I didn't realize, until now, that I'd never followed you formally (ie, to get ebots)...From your last uploads (a number of which I'd commented on, so I already knew), it sounded like you weren't likely to post fiction again for a while. I came here on a hunch, and saw this: Holy cow...if this is how you write when you're not in the mood, bring some rain gear for us when you are...This was a massive opening; and you sustained it with great force and consistency. I wrote, some time ago (I don't think I ever made it public) an opening with relentless winds and snow, I think...And I know that, while writing it, I was going looney trying to keep up the pacing, the intensity, etc. It's very hard. Here, you didn't lose me for a second; and your repeated plunges into the raging water created the feeling of both catastrophe and that strange sense of sudden cessation: cessation of all the din and madness, even though Bae is fighting for his life. And you punctuate the storm with all kinds of contrasting moments: catching his breath, the encounter with the monkey, getting to land, confronting trees, wondering where the water took him, etc...part of the power of your pacing is by contrast, contrast, contrast. And when we've finally braved one whap to the face, another one comes in its wake. Your writing seems to have changed: I say that knowing that I haven't read nearly as many chapters as you've posted (again, not because of you, by any means, but because of me---I'm a terribly slow reader, and I just haven't done enough reading of late); so I may be wrong about your changes. But, from what I have read of yours, you seem to be immersed in longer sentences, multi-phrase sentences, and ongoing rushes of thought, description, feeling, creating a very visceral symphony that goes on for many phrases or sentences in a row. It sweeps. Maybe that will change as you delve into dialogue...but the descriptives in this chapter are tumultuous, and capture the feeling of being deluged, then deluged more, the deluged more. It's relentless---which is what you want---and it packed a wallop.

The moments when Bae thinks it might be over set-up, for us, that this will be a confrontation with life and death. (That's something you've set up in several previous writings.) And the music of your prose, for me, captures the sound and feel of wind and water roaringly chasing after one: Any one who's gone through that knows the din and relentlessness of it. (I have. And if you haven't, physically, you have inside yourself.) The monkey struck me as one of your many enchanted encounters, and sure enough, you had one right in the middle of a deluge. And then you ended with the captain's crew pulling him out---never expected that---and your usual way with casual talk right in the midst of big events. (You do that often, and it always gave humanity to sweeping events.) And you ended with that line about the monkey (he can't keep it)---that brought us back to 'normality'...the young man has just faced his possible demise, and the captain is talking about protocol...

A very impressive opening, and rhapsodic in tone. I'm still a way slow reader, and am not very reliable for reading whole books (a real drawback on my part, which I'm trying to overcome though without much success)...but I'll try to keep up here whenever I can. As I say, if this is what you come up with when you're stilted by the pandemic, holy s___, give us warning when the pandemic is over. A very impressive opening. Whoosh...

)

netsuke

9:51AM | Mon, 27 July 2020

I have a lot of catching up to do. Your being captured by a wave and rip current is most accurate having experienced it myself. I had sand in every crevice of my body.


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