Thoughts, Questions and Fears by anahata.c
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Description
The image has nothing to do with my text...just sharing an old piece...
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I took down the silly tale from yesterday, and I wanted you to know that it was my doing, not the site's. Instead of just 'removing' it, I thought I'd share my thoughts.
First, I saw both comments---Rod and Steve: Thank you as always, guys, always greatly appreciated. I would never remove anything before reading what any of you have said to me.
why did I remove it?
It was one of a series of "nonsense tales" that I've written over the years: I luuuuuv doing them because they're pure idiocy, and they allow me to go wherever I want. But a good half of them are barely readable. I mean, I look at them afterwards and think: Omg: This is pure Dreck! As in Grade A, USDA Approved, V.S.O.P. Dreck. I wonder if I shouldn't give out refunds. I looked at it afterwards, and thought: Nooooooooo: Not done yet. Not ready to come out of the oven. The broccoli's stringy, it needs oregano, needs more salt...
I hope you all feel strong about everything you post...but I don't. I get so close to my work, I lose sight sometimes. Even in a dumb piece like that, I put my heart and soul into it. It's just that sometimes I wonder if my heart and soul should've stayed home that night. It's part of the insecurity of being an artist: Some days you pour your heart into a piece, and realize omg: they could sell this to the Pentagon as a deadly weapon. We just 'have days', is all. Today was one of them...
I may post a funnier version down the road, but no matter how many years we create, we still have the insecurities of baring our souls in front of the world---and that's what I wanted to say. We try to bare our souls. And if people on the outside wonder why artists go through such madness, let them do their first public performance: They'll understand. We're crazy enough to agonize over a stroke, a syllable, a leaf in a photograph (that ruined the whole damned picture, and we work for 2 hours to get it right), etc; and it's why some of the most experienced artists in the world have 'stage fright' to their dying day. In fact, many say if they don't have stage fright, something's very wrong...
Just wanted to share that. (Just being honest.) Thanks for all your comments...have a fine night everyone. Love and inspiration, mark
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Comments (12)
bakapo
Hmmm, well, I missed the post you removed, so I can't comment on it, obviously, but I get it. I've spent days on images and after posting it, realized it was not at all what I thought it was. I deleted quite a few things when I first joined this site because I thought I didn't live up to the awesome art and photography posted here. It take quite a bit of courage to post anything publicly and the more personal it is, the harder it is to share, sometimes. I just want you to know that your silly stuff is just as creative and fun and enlightening to see as your serious stuff. Really.
This image is cool. I feel like I'm in the jungle at night. Flowers, plants and insects surround me as I try to reach the lantern light on the other side. Beautiful chaos ahead. Nice work!
Richardphotos
very powerful art work and your gradients works so fine together
wysiwig
Hey, Mark: Reading your comments made me think of a scene from a movie I saw tonight. “Resistance” is the story of Marcel Marceau and his work with the French Underground during World War II saving Jewish children from the Nazis. Earlier in the film, there is a scene where he is painting in his room. His father walks in and, after a bit of business, asks why he paints (instead of finding something useful to do). Marcel answers the question with a question. “Why do you go to the bathroom?” “What?” “Why do you go to the bathroom?” “Because my body gives me no other choice.” And Marcel looks at his father and says, “That’s why I paint.”
Self-criticism is a part of an artist’s life. It can certainly be a good thing at times. But don’t ever doubt your talent.
donnena
There is some truly horrible stuff in the galleries. But I assume, this artist is working at the top of his game. He can only get better!! So I say, Good Job, Great Work!! I hope folks don't remove old, less polished items. It's a pleasure to wander thur folks galleries and watch them grow in their art.
Thanks for sharing you with us!
JohnnyM
Beautiful work of art! Your honest and sincere words resonate so well with me! I often find art is a conduit to our inner souls! For many it is a way for one to truly express themselves through their work...as it can often be raw, pure and most of the time so honest and personal! To reveal small pieces of yourself for all the world to see takes courage and confidence in one's artistic abilities! Self doubt can at times emerge! Personally...there are many times I feel like hitting the delete button soon after I have just hit the send button! I have at times been tempted to delete some of my past images from my gallery...but yet I leave them there, as a reminder of where I have been! These past images are not my best and contain many mistakes, warts and blemishes...but never the less they are still a part of me that helps define a stage of my life of where I have been in this art community! I thank you for sharing your thoughts and your amazing work! :-)
eekdog Online Now!
one wild and marvelous abstract work Mark. i thought nothing at all silly about your last you removed my friend. i say keep on posting whatever you feel. we will enjoy it. and your work on stories has never been silly or insulting. will wait for your funnier version as you mentioned my friend. hope all is well. i've been rather down lately , not sure why. thank you as always and God Bless. Steve
RodS
Pure dreck, huh? Gawd.... You never saw my reject pile back when I was airbrushing..... You coulda filled all those holes in the Albert Hall and still had an oil tanker's worth left over.... Now at least I have a "delete" key for when I muck things up... 😆
Like Steve, I got a good tickle out of your 'silly' story, Mark. I always do... I've only deleted a couple things over the past 10 or so years - not that I haven't been tempted. But there's one thing I've come to realize as one of the ultimate truths of the universe... Artists are their own worst critics.. So true!
Looking forward to more 'silly' stories - and abstracts, too! This one's pretty cool!
steve2
Great abstract Mark. I had a few paintings in a alumni show many years ago and in the question and answer period someone asked me how did I know I was finished with a painting. The had to think up a answer quick so I said when I get tired or run out of paint.
UteBigSmile
Looks like a fractal Marc, from the rest I just understand "Trainstation and Departure", that means: Nothing! I hope you can laugh about it! 😊👌
Wolfenshire
I find it's that story you like the least that everyone else likes. Silly stories are good.
dochtersions
I understand you at all, at least I think, Mark. Uncertainty, maybe it should be with an artist, and that is why other artists can understand. At least, I'm too, I write a message about my ideas and thoughts (F.e. to someone who suffers from PTSD), after which I don't dare to send it, scared because I don't know how the reader will see / regard it.
Haha, I can love silly things, especially some kind of funny and silly poems. In your spectacular image is a lot of movement, and in the middle I see a round ball. I don't know if this is the globe, but you can see how many thoughts, fears, and the like brings the world from his balance and the engulfs. But,.... in the middle there is light, a good thing!
aksirp
yes, thats what happen sometimes to me, not in story telling but in art, drawing or photography - mostly I am not sure about my work - so I understand this feeling very well - we are sensitive and of course a little silly because no one is doing it better... so go forward my friend!