Recently a bunch of the lads met at a local watering hole to talk over old times in the Poser universe. In the photo above you'll see fourteen CG old-timers. Here are their stories: POSER 1 MAN It's a poorly-kept secret that the Poser 1 "man" was in fact a robot designed and constructed by Beantown Data, a small company with more ambition than know-how. The character was plagued with technical problems from the outset, culminating in an unfortunate incident in which P1M attempted to eat the hair of a Fractal Design staffer. The idea of a robot Poser character was scrapped. Beantown Data reinvented itself as Boston Dynamics and found success building robot dogs. POSER 2 MAN P2M feels lucky to have joined the Poser team when he did, because it allowed him to become a star despite a crippling disability: the fingers of both his hands are unable to move. Poser was expanding into animation, and another character might have been defeated by this limitation. Instead P2M devised an ingenious workaround. He would drop his hand out of frame, where an assistant quickly fitted a lifelike glove in a pose appropriate to the action. When P2M raised his hand again, it appeared to have moved to the new pose. "Things were pretty crude back then," P2M reminisced. "With those old low-res textures, if I had a single zit it would cover half my face. Animation would have to stop while the Photoshop crew got busy." POSER 3 MAN Despite his role as the first of a new generation of Poser characters, P3M, real name Dick Poserman, came to the community by accident. A software developer by trade, P3M was between jobs following the cancellation of his latest project, Microsoft Bob. MetaCreations offered his older brother Dirk a job as lead character in the revamped Poser 3. Dirk, however, was involved in other projects and convinced the company to give kid brother Dick the part. Dick's time as P3M was a success and he was offered the lead position in Poser 4. However Dick preferred software engineering and gladly turned the job over to his older brother. P3M returned to the PC world. There he spearheaded development of such notable products as Windows ME and iSmell, the plug-in peripheral that produced custom website aromas. POSER 4 MAN P4M, who now goes by his birth name, Dirk Poserman, barely remembers the days when he was known as "The Dork." Level-headed and a sharp businessman, he invested his earnings wisely, bailed out of several dying tech startups just in time to make a huge profit, and built a stable, comfortable upper-middle-class life. P4M was the only figure to marry within the Poser community. He met his future wife Posette when they were auditioning at MetaCreations, demonstrating to the interviewers that their clothing did indeed conform to their figures--mostly. Today the Posermans live in a gated Florida community where they donate time and money to the local opera company. Many fans mistakenly believe that Casual Child Male and Casual Child Female are their children. The twins were in fact the issue of a Casual affair between two Poser low-res figures. The Posermans had only one child, a son. Uninterested in living a public life, the boy followed Dad's advice and became a stockbroker. MICHAEL 1 Sleek and handsome, Michael 1 launched a new breed of male Poser characters. Contrary to their forebearers this new generation saw themselves as men who looked like models rather than models who looked like men. Unlike previous Poser men, Mike maintained a vast wardrobe. He made the most of it in the many promotional shoots beside that other Poser pioneer, Victoria 1. Informed sources report that despite their public friendship, Mike and Vicky despised each other. Even after the Millennium Woman was officially named Victoria, Mike insisted on calling her "Millie." He was privately reprimanded for inappropriately teasing her about what he termed the "decidedly inferior" modelling of her hip area in comparison to his own. Today Michael 1 lives in Texas. He flips houses for a living and earns extra money auctioning his vintage clothing on eBay. MICHAEL 2 Michael 2 was always experimenting with his look. He was the first Poser male to try out beards and moustaches. While he enjoyed his stay in the Poser community, M2 confesses it always annoyed him when fans gave him "Michael 2 clothing" that was actually made for his predecessor M1. Michael worked diligently right up till his early retirement from CG. Today his rigging is a bit stiff from mild arthritis, but M2 keeps himself in shape running his old PoseAmation workout routine. He owns a chain of convenience stores in Montana. MICHAEL 3 A good looker and a quick study, Michael 3 enjoyed a successful TV and movie career. Unfortunately, a series of steamy poses he shot with Victoria 3 were leaked and went viral on the Internet. Though the exposure (so to speak) sent Michael's product residuals through the roof, it torpedoed his hopes for a long-term role as The Right Guy in Hallmark Channel rom-coms. After the incident M3 re-examined his life, did some trekking and spiritual work, and spent a year as an itinerant surfer. Eventually he found his true calling. Mike used his camera skills to become a freelance wildlife photographer, with a side gig faking sound effects for nature documentaries. MICHAEL 4 Michael 4 is still going strong after many years in the Poser world. His face is familiar to millions who have seen him in courtroom animations, insurance commercials, checkout kiosks, and heroic Renderosity images. With his business partner Victoria 4 (they're just friends, folks) M4 oversees a global network of content creators and modellers. Michael has committed much of his wealth to bettering other peoples' lives. He contributes money and time to numerous nonprofits serving the badly-lit and the poorly-rendered. He admits that he can't do all the things the newer Michaels can, but it doesn't bother him. "Besides," he laughs, "as long as I have my default texture I'll never have to worry about going bald." RYAN Many Poser users felt Ryan had a creepy look. They weren't alone: he was voted Boy Most Likely to Become a Serial Killer by his high school class. Ryan didn't become a serial killer--as far as anyone knows--but after being largely ignored during his stay at Poser he drifted between low-paying jobs, often relocating abruptly to a different state the week before his rent was due. Ryan finally settled into a position as a night security officer, giving him time to watch Q-Anon videos and track down liberal-socialist conspiracies. He is never seen without a satchel stuffed with research, which he will eagerly display to anyone who shows the slightest interest in him. DON His co-workers remember Don as a genial, hard-working fellow who might have had a long Poser career if not for an unfortunate accident. An attempt to import Carnegie-Mellon motion capture data so strained his shoulder and collar components that Don's deformers were permanently deformed. Don accepted the calamity with typical grace. "These things happen," he said, shrugging as best he could. During his long physical rehab program, Don met and fell in love with the enigmatic Poser Pro Med Res Male. The two settled down in the San Fernando Valley, where they manage Chateau La Mutte, an upscale dog grooming business. JAMES Hardly anyone remembers James, though he had a major behind-the-scenes role in the Poser saga. A single dad with two children, Ben and Kate, James secured Poser gigs not only for his kids, but also for his sister Jessi. No one outside the company knew they were related, and this played a part in the decision to quietly phase the family out of the Poser line. "I can understand where they were coming from," James mused. "Given the way many Poser figures are used, they knew there'd be a huge stink if the media raised a fuss about Jess and me being siblings." A generous severance package set James and Jessi up for life. Today James' kids study business at an Ivy League university. James, happily remarried, runs a data analysis firm in Milwaukee. Jessi moved to England where she is active in regional politics. SIMON One look at this guy's promo portrait told you that he was trouble. Simon had a chip on his shoulder mesh from the get-go, complaining that e-frontier failed to promote him and that he was paid so little that he could afford only a single red shirt during his entire time with the company. No one missed him much after he suddenly quit his job in 2008. Following a short stint as a long-haul trucker Simon became the bouncer at a waterfront bar in New Jersey. It is unknown whether he has more than one red shirt. When Simon drinks, which is fairly often, he tends to become argumentative. POSER PRO MED RES MALE Little-known Don was a superstar compared to Hugh Mann, who worked under the stage name MedResMale. Hidden away in an obscure folder alongside a few Dev Objects, Hugh was unknown even to many longtime Poser users. He was hired as a model to test other characters' assets. As a result he never received the wardrobe assistance enjoyed by other Poser figures. He always ended up wearing other characters' clothes. "Thank goodness for the Fitting Room," he says wryly. Disillusioned with his job, Hugh quit Poser and became a physical therapist specializing in joint rotation. That's how he met Don. "When we met," Hugh said, "it was All Limits Off!" Today Hugh is happy grooming dogs alongside his fellow Poser alumnus. THE FREAK Everyone who meets this gentle giant immediately likes him. Affable and funny, he doesn't regret his years as Poser's go-to barbarian/monster/supervillain, but his heart wasn't in the job. "They always kept sendin' me dragons and zombies and stuff," says Freak (he's dropped the "The"). "The only zombies I'm interested in are ones I make myself from rum and brandy." Indeed, Freak's skills as a mixologist have made him a local legend. When his Daz contract expired, he turned down the role of Max in Netflix's "Hart to Hart" revival to open a successful bar, "Conform To: (None)." It was Freak who organized the reunion and offered his place as the venue. "The Poser gang is a great bunch of guys and gals," he grins, "and I'm happy to serve 'em a few on the house. Here, try this one. I call it the Detached Node."