Just Some Random Thoughts About Life ___________________________________________________________ Why do we say we are going to write something, when what we do is type something? ___________________________________________________________ I'm allergic to alcohol, when I drink, I break out in handcuffs. ___________________________________________________________ Is political correctness the end of America as we knew it? ___________________________________________________________ The decline of a civilization: from: The Declaration Of Independence, The Bill Of Rights, The Constitution, The Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, The Greatest Generation, JFK, Uncle Ronnie Reagan, Mad Magazine and Playboy Centerfolds. to: American Idol, Reality TV, Michael Moore, Not one but TWO movies of Charlies Angels, Political correctness, and protecting the last of the Greater San Juaquin Spotted Piss-ants. _____________________________________________________________ No matter what your political leaning is, you really really HATE the other side's candidate. I am old enough to remember real debates between different ideas. I am really damn old! ______________________________________________________________ If I am driving down the street at 40 mph in Mesa, Arizona, I can be given a ticket for smoking a cigarette if the window of my car is rolled down more than half an inch! Drive-By Second hand smoke? ______________________________________________________________ Why do people who like rap have the loudest car sound systems? Why do people like rap? Why don't they like music? ______________________________________________________________ I filled out a government form today, they asked me for my race and had eleven races listed, not one was white/Caucasian/European. Just where is Caucasia? ______________________________________________________________ Three years ago, the cops said they would put me in jail if I kept on singing along with my tape of the Charlie Daniels Band. Damned rude of them to say something like that at 3 in the morning! ______________________________________________________________ Esoteric verbosity culminates with excessive ennui. ______________________________________________________________ Headline; Little Timmie Falls Down Well. Sub-headline; Needs help standing. ________________________________________________________________ Do you remember when you were a kid and after a bad day had the thought, "I can't wait till I'm grown up and don't have any problems!" Don't you wish you could go back and kick the younger you in the ass. Really hard. __________________________________________________________________ Scotch, Gin, Beer, Tobacco, Cocaine, Crystal, Heroin, Health, Low-Carbs, Baby-back Ribs, Green Salad, Cheese Burgers, Ice Cream, Chocolate, Ophra, Prozac, Fast Cars, Faster Motorcycles, The ACLU, Cell Phones, Computer Games, Poser, Poetry, Sex, More Sex, Kinky Sex. We all have our addictions. _________________________________________________________________ The first pack of cigarettes I bought cost a quarter, the pack this afternoon cost $2.75 and I thought that was cheap. _________________________________________________________________ If you could have an evenings dinner and conversation with any person from history who would you choose? For me I would have to choose from a long list; Jesus Christ would be my first choice followed by; Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Robert E Lee, Teddy Roosevelt, Aspasia, Mark Twain, Frank Spencer (my father), Leonardo Da Vinci, Lisa DeLeeuwe (porn star from the '80s), Charleton Heston, Sophia Loren, Horatio Nelson, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Issac Assimov, Edith Piaf, Terry Pratchett, Frank Sinatra, and the list would extend for many more. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Speaking of Sophia Loren, I've told my kids that when I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered over her body. No word yet on wether she would approve of this. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My ex-wife remarried. She married a guy who is deaf. I promise that I have only laughed excessively at this. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was married to my ex-wife for 25 years. The man she ran away with died of a heart attack 2 years later. I refuse to draw a conclusion from this. Really. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am a fan of the Arizona Cardinals, The Arizona Diamondbacks, The Phoenix Suns, The Phoenix Coyotes and the ASU Sun Devils. Like the man says, I've served my time in hell. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I really miss driving down the hiway at 80 miles an hour on a chopper. I am still alive cause I no longer drive down the hiway at 80 miles an hour on a chopper. I really miss it tho'. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I want to meet a woman who thinks that the fact that I have 2 dogs and 15 cats, no financial security or future, smoke cigarettes, drink to excess, am a pervert that is becoming a prude, fly the Confederate Flag, am a total Patriot, very opinionated, love cheesy greasburgers, knows my mother and sister and grown children come first, and have no connection with reality but would still like to have a relationship. Like I said, I have no connection with reality. Sigh. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you cant laugh, why? If you wont laugh, why" Laughter is life. If God gave us the gift of laughter, why don't some of us use it? Your emotions are precious. Learn to love them and learn to live them. Life is short, life is hard, life is full of pain and laughter. Cry, Laugh and shout at the sky. Just remember that life is short and you only have one go around. Live it. Love it.