Smore Random Thots --------------------------------------------- Really, I am sorry that you are always wrong, while I never make a mistake. Really. --------------------------------------------- Oh, I lied about never making mistakes. --------------------------------------------- And about being sorry. --------------------------------------------- But the 'really' was sincere. ---------------------------------------------- Really. ---------------------------------------------- I broke a date with a woman once, because she said that she "has this wonderful little mauve number". I'm still not sure what she meant, but it was probably illegal in most states. -------------------------------------------- Speaking of numbers; who does make up the names for the various shades and hues? Think about it, mauve, puce, chartreuse, cyan, butterscotch (I can understand butter and I can understand scotch, why mix them?). I promise that I will do severe bodily harm to the first bartender that asks me "You want butter with your scotch?" I saw a color called 'papayawhip' that brings all sorts of images to mind. I refuse to talk about 'Fuchsia cause there might be ladies present. -------------------------------------------- My cat's gave me an ultimatum, they want; longer naps, cleaner litter and slower mice. -------------------------------------------- I wanted to be a computer programer, but couldn't spell IBM so gave up the dream. -------------------------------------------- While we are on the subject of names; why are 87.3 percent of all children given the same 11 names? I have two nieces, a grand-daughter, a cousin and a neighbor named Cheyenne. What happened to the good old everyday names like; Ichabod, Horatio, Adolf (Ok, I understand that one), Ebenezer, Ishmael, Hortense and Alucimundiaphon? --------------------------------------------- I had a thought the other day......No, it was just a....never mind...I forget. ------------------------------------------- At my age, my new philosophy in life is.... "If I stand here long enough, I will remember why I am standing here." -------------------------------------------- Hopefully. -------------------------------------------- Do you realize, that instead of sitting there reading this, you could be doing something useful with your life? ------------------------------------------- If you took all that I know about math, you would in effect be subtracting from your knowledge of math. ------------------------------------------- I love words, words are so much fun. There are so many of them and so few that really make sense. Some of my favorite words. Ponder---Do you ponder? If you ponder, do you do so in public? Have you been guilty of excessive pondering? Have you and your significant other ever pondered together in a dark room? Xerox---Should be either Exrox or Zeroz! Kerfuffle---Sounds like something that happens to a cake that is baking, or a dog that has been bad. Or maybe even what happens to a girls dress on your first date. Wondra (the flour)---It is really to bad this name was already taken, personally I think it would be perfect as the name for a memory enhancing drug. Or maybe a male 'enhancement' drug. Think about it. Buffalo---Aloe is a plant, how can it be buff? Smarty-pants---If you tell someone that they are a 'smarty-pants' doesn't that really say it all? But, if it does say it all. What does it say all about? Pants or brains. Reflection---If you reflect about something, does that mean that at one time you flected on something and have reconsidered? Have you ever gone away in a Huff? If so, what year was the Huff and was it a sedan or a coupe? I left in a Snit once. It was a 1953 coupe with a V1. ----------------------------------------------------- I am both an ex-con and a conservative, but not an ex-conservative! Splain this to me. ----------------------------------------------------- Speaking of 'ex's'. ExLax...... ex-wife/husband! Remember, there are no coincidences! Ain't it the shits? ----------------------------------------------------- When my last girl friend called me a stick in the mud, was she talking dirty? ------------------------------------------------------ One of my long lost relatives is always calling me, I know this cause my caller ID says that 'unc nowncaller' has tried to get ahold of me all day long. --------------------------------------------------- My best friend is always calling me for advice on women and relationships. I was married once and she left me. I have had three other girl friends, and they each left me. Is my best friend slightly off kilter? ------------------------------------------------------ A buddy told me he was moving to Los Angeles, I told him there was no such place. After all, I had lived there so I should know. ------------------------------------------------------ The first joke I ever laughed at cause I understood it. Did you hear the joke about the bed? It hasn't been made up yet. I was 8 and laughed for the next 5 years at that. I haven't gotten much better. Sigh. -------------------------------------------------------- My favorite author is Terry Pratchett. He has written a series of over 30 books about a world that is flat, ten thousand miles in diameter, is being carried on the backs of 4 elephants, that walk on the shell of a giant turtle (or tortoise), and feature Death as one of the main characters. I think that this says a lot about me. I wish that it didn't.