I took a trip down to Hades yesterday and had a little talk with Beelzebub and convinced him to stop all the hateful things in life. I told him he would be liked a lot more if he did. So he figured he'd try it out for a week. Day One: When I got back from Hades everything seemed normal. People were still the same people. I wandered the streets of Chicago for a few hours and only noticed one thing: people were giving a lot of change to the homeless guys out there. In fact, most of it wasn't change. Well that's cool, I thought. It was about 8:30 in the evening so I figured I'd head on home. I got home and went straight to bed. My trip down to Hades wasn't exactly easy. Day Two: I woke up this morning and had almost completely forgot the previous days events until I picked up the morning paper out my doorstep. WHOA! The fighting in Iraq had stopped, and right underneath that was an article about puppies! Wow, an article about puppies on the front page, that's pretty nifty, I thought. It was about then I remembered yesterday's events. I figured this would be a good time to go job hunting. I didn't really care whether I got a job or not, so I went out in my bathrobe down to the mall. I had applied at almost every store in the mall, and was getting a little desperate. I walked into Victoria's Secret and asked for an application. The woman behind the counter told me they had no time for that, and I was about to walk away when she said, "We need you right now." The girls trained me real good as a sales floor representative and it wasn't before long I was helping supermodels in the dressing rooms. Hmm, a little strange I thought. The day went by really fast too! Before I knew it I was home again, and just as energized as ever. I decided to go out to the bar. I had hot women all over me, and everyone was a happy drunk, not the plastered type that vomit on your shoes. I went home with a beautiful redhead whose hair seemed to vibrate with intensity. That wasn't the only thing vibrating that night. Day Three: I woke up and made Charlene breakfast. (I think that was her name) She spent the rest of the day with me. I was getting kind of bored with all this happiness. She was just too good. I had forgotten what life was like before her. Day Four: Charlene won't go away! I love her dearly but my cheeks are really starting to hurt from all this smiling. She is too good in the sack and too good too me. What am I going to do? Day Five: My job is really great, my wife is really great, my dog couldn't be happier, my fish are even better. The neighbors stopped fighting, the police stopped patrolling my neighborhood. Day Six: Life sucks, why is everything so happy. I hate it. I've got to do something. Day Seven: I went back down to Hades again, and asked Beelzebub what was going on. He told me that he was really enjoying his week off, and told me that he was going to continue like this. I told him of my week and he just laughed at me. "Silly mortal," he said, "you complain about things even when everything is perfect." He refused to get back to work, and told me to go home and enjoy life. What have I done?