The Black Flame by experimental
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Description
The black flame of darkness burns darkly, filling the day with shadows. It's blackness consumes the light around it, and hides from me what is clear to others. The harder I blow to put it out, the larger the black flame gets. I tried to pinch it with my fingers and the black flame spread to my fingers. Cold as ice, it crawled slowly up my arm, blocking me out from those around me. Soon I was engulfed by the black flame and everything around me was gone. People reached in to try to save me, but couldn't find me in the darkness. It was cold and dark, and I was gone. I heard a voice inside me, and I listened to it. It was my heart, telling me to close my eyes and trust my instincts. I closed my eyes and stepped forward and nothing happened, so I stepped forward again, nothing happened. I just kept walking forward and kept my eyes shut. Pretty soon I opened my eyes and I was in the light again. I looked around but the black flame was nowhere to be seen.
Comments (6)
cagewench
I liked it. It is a good way to describe how it feels when we are despairing, depressed or feeling lost in and/or possessed by negativity. If I may, let me offer a few comments that you are totally free to disregard :) I'd use a different word in the first line instead of "darkly" since you've established that it is the black flame of darkness... perhaps "burns insidiously" which is a non-pleasant word that whispers of allure and harm since in the rest of this, you clearly portray it as harmful and malevolent. "Its blackness" rather than "it's" (i do that myself sometimes) And I might consider substituting "it" instead of "the black flame" the 3rd time where it "spread to my fingers" so it's not quite as repetitive.
netsia
Always best to block out everything...strip down to the core and then 'listen'.
RobertX
cool story, is it true?
TallPockets
" I heard a voice inside me, and I listened to it. It was my heart, telling me to close my eyes and trust my instincts." - good advice. Well written.
Satanimus
Feels like a paragraph from a short story, I'd like to read the rest if it is...
estevez
Very interesting and expressive story...