Sleepwalking by cagewench
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Description
Note: this poem contains the "F word", if this will offend you please do not read further.
This is one of the first poems I wrote this summer when I found out my Mom's prognosis was less than 6 months to live.
My Dad died in 1993 so this is familar, yet different.
Please donate to charities of your choice.
Cara-Mae
P.S. The pic is one I took, then changed to a negative and then colourized because I wanted something from my own "dreamscape" to represent this.
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Sleepwalking
in the darkness I walk
I do not stumble
this path tugs at my feet with its insidious familiarity
I want to flee but I cannot
I scream and there is only silence
Blinded and blindsided
trapped in the circle
birth, growth, change, death
the smell teases and revolts
the fear and rage are fucking one another
fighting for dominance
now I falter, dizzy and powerless
My shoes are bigger now
my mirror smaller
my determination wounds
my inner child weeps
It's not even about me
except that I can't control it
I can't change it
plead with it, bargain or barter with it
Time continues to move forward
it binds my hands and draws me along
against my will
as the wheel prepares to turn again
Comments (6)
Blush
I can identify with this one Been back to ER tonight with my mom for 5 1/2 hrs and they re admitted her I am so tired so worried Indeed time moves forward but it is something I can't control either I could feel the pool of emotions in this poem Hope your doing ok hun Love n hugs sweetie Big Vote Susan~
cagewench
Thanks :) I hope your Mom will be OK. I am actually doing quite good right now, I'm just in (2:23 a.m.) from a bit of a night out with one of my friends and did I ever need it :) Right now I spend 50 hrs a wk (mon - Fri 8 a.m. - 5 p.m.) taking care of my Mom in her home (as well as my son) while my hubby is at work. It's difficult and often stressful... but, what wouldn't I do for her, you know?
TallPockets
Peace to you. V o t e.
netsia
It is a very difficult time when we, the children, have to care for our parents. When my Mom passed, it astounded me that, on her side of the family, I was the Elder. Now that my father is so ill, I will soon be the Elder on his side, as well. I shake my head, even now, as I write this. Creator has a plan, we just follow the Path.
AusPoet
All the best with all the efforts you are putting into your mother and the rest of your family. I feel for you.
cagewench
Thank you TallPockets, netsia and AusPoet... this is a rough period in my life. my Mom is dying of met. bone cancer which originated in the breast over 7 yrs ago. My Dad died of complications from diabetes after having his 2nd leg amputated in 1993 and my birth mom had a mascetomy (sp?) from breast cancer a few yrs ago, though, luckily it hasn't returned like it did to my Mom...