For me, I think that more of who I am has been shaped by the more negative experiences in my life. (ie) being abused as a child made me more understanding of others and being raped as an adult made me retain more of my vulnerability. I'm probably not explaining this well. Negativity seems easier to retain because it leaves a larger, more noticeable impression. Plus, sometimes the negative is damn hard to face/deal with, so we hang on to it until we are able to deal with it. Happiness and joy are easy to deal with, so they come and go like the wind. I don't feel the need to surround myself with ppl who identify with the same label as I relate to. I still enjoy it, but I don't need the reassurance that there are others out there who feel/think like I do. I am debating casting off my labels: goth, pagan, indigo (to name a few) But I don't think it's that simple. People will always want a way to identify and categorize us all. So, prehaps we should let them use the labels when we don't feel like giving them a lengthy dissertation. But we don't HAVE to use the labels for ourselves. That's the big thing. I feel more confident in myself and my sense of self. I don't feel the need to remind myself that I'm not alone becaues when it all comes down to it, we actually are alone. We are born alone and we die alone and it's what happens between, before and after those events that matters. Maybe this comes from what's going on with my Mom. Perhaps now I am truly seeing the full circle of life. The woman who loved me and bathed me and raised me is dying. It's eye-opening and heart-breaking but I wouldn't trade the moments I am sharing with her. When her time comes, I'll know that nothing was left unsaid. If this wasn't happening to my Mom, my eyes probably wouldn't be this open... Now, onto my personal belief system: I used to make up spells when I was a child, but I never thought of them specifically as spells, or rituals but they were. Childish, yes, but still unmistakable. My adoptive family were very superstitious and also very open-minded about psychic phenomena and things like ghosts and angels. I was raised Christian though I began to formulate my personal belief system in grade school when I read the "Narnia" series by C. S. Lewis. In church, I always asked awkward questions and set my Sunday school teachers on edge (even though we didn't attend services every wk). Yet, the dutiful daughter I was, I still did what my parents required. I was confirmed when I was a teen, even though it wasn't really my thing... but there was a boy I had a massive crush on in my confirmation class so it was still bearable, if not as sincere as Mom and Dad would have hoped. I had known that tradition religion did not fit me. Back then, I felt that I was searching but I didn't know for what. Paganism wasn't a term I'd heard of yet, though I was semi-familiar with Witchcraft, but I didn't like the stigma attached to it. Now, let's return to C.S. Lewis (who I didn't know was a "Christian" writer until I was well into adulthood). In "The Last Battle" he wrote: The Lion growled so that the earth shook (but his wrath was not against me) and said, It is false. Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swaer by Tash and keep his oath for the oath's sake, it is by me he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty by my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. And rather than inferring that as the Christian concepts of "God" and "Satan" I internalized it as Ultimate Good and Ultimate Evil. Because traditional Christianity didn't fit me, though this concept did. It's also where I realized that the name of the Powers That Be doesn't matter. Perhaps it is presumptious of us to attempt to place a name upon Them. What matters are our intentions and our actions and how we truly feel about them. It's about being true to yourself. I won't go on and on and try to force ppl to believe as I do, but if they ask questions, I will do my best to answer them. The quick skivvy on my personal belief system: * I believe in Ultimate Good and Ultimate Evil, though am undecided on whether or not they possess any form of consciousness as humans percieve it * I believe in The Powers That Be (TPTB), which encompass all genders, a multitude of consciousnesses and beliefs, including archtypes and deities which have been re-enforced by the beliefs of humanity over the centuries, therefore, although I think the Powers That Be are more of a collective, calling upon specific deities (gaia, god, aphrodite etc...) can give SpellCrafting a lil more oomph because those deities have been reinforced by the beliefs of generations upon generations of humans as personifying certain characteristics * I believe in reincarnation * I believe in an afterlife * I believe on life on other planets * I believe in ghosts and other paranormal things * I believe in angels but not as being of a specific faith * I do not believe in "Heaven" or "Hell" * I do not believe in "holy wars" * I do not believe in any "one true religion" because I see religion as spirituality and spirituality as being as individualistic and personal so, as we all are unique, there cannot be "one true religion" because every single person is different. I think it is all about being true to who you are. * I believe that everyone is born with the ability to do good and/or evil, though some may have come here with more of a push to one side or the other * I believe in religious tolerance, in that I respect that others have the right to have different beliefs than I do and I also respect their right to not have me shoving mine down their throats and expect them to treat me with the same respect * I do not believe in any religion which preaches that it is the "one true religion" * I believe that what you put out into the universe returns to you mulitipled * I believe in free will AND destiny and shall now attempt to explain... as humans we are all born with "free will", and yet I believe that all things happen for a reason but often that reason is created/discovered after an event because with free will, not everything is planned BUT it can have a reason, even if the TPTB come up with the reason on the fly. Also, with free will, I believe we can somewhat thwart our own destinies by not being true to ourselves, but then we will carry on and learn what we shall learn even though it may take more or less lifetimes than TPTB may have anticipated * I believe in magic (with or without a "k" on the end) I believe that when we die, our consciousness/essence/soul go to another place. I believe that people who believe in concepts such as Heaven, Hell, purgatory, limbo etc... will find themselves in whichever place of their belief that their innermost self feels they belong within and that then their mind will control their experiences until they re-enter the circle of life with the help of other guardian and teacher spirits. I also believe that people who think death is the end are in for one hell of a surprise when they pass from this mortal coil and find themselves somewhere new where they believed nothing could exist. I believe that when you cross, you are in a place that cannot be described and you can meet various other souls there and you may stay and learn from interaction with them before choosing whether or not to be re-born somewhere else. If you are one of those people who believe inherently in Heaven and Hell then I think there is an adjustment period where you gradually come to understand that there is no true religion and what matters is being true to yourself and trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Now, onto SpellCraft: For me, written and spoken spells are most effective. I think mainly because I am such a communicator [or childhood chatterbox]. For beginners, I recommend giving your spells a lil more oomph by beefing them up with appropriate candles, stones, incense, potions et cetera. But it has to be personalized, something you are drawn to, otherwise, why waste your time? Spellcraft is a personal thing and I think for anyone, simplicity is key. Small, personally crafted rituals are more appealing and I