change by cagewench
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Description
Two faces that I love
that I hold dear
One is older, well-lined, waning
the other is younger, changing, growing
both are cherished
I can place names to what is happening
moment by moment
breath by breath
It's Life and Death
My mother's eyes grow pained
and sometimes fail to know me
My son's eyes light up
and make me remember joy
no cure for cancer
not sure when the end will come
being with her while we can
waiting for full assessment
of autism, hearing and/or learning disability
teaching him all we can
These two beings
meaning so much to me in their own way
and sharing their love with one another
A bond to go unbroken
by death or by time
Though I do not possess them
I'm grateful their love is mine
_______________________________________
Mom is getting less responsive as time goes forward and Torin is on a waiting list for a complex development team assessment since it seems he may be autistic, hearing impaired and/or have some currently unspecified learning disability.
Life's tossing a lot my way, and I'm trying to hold on to what I am grateful for.
The image is 2 pics I took of my Mom and Torin together... one was taken this July, before she got so obviously sick and the other was taken this month, the day she was admitted to hospice.
Comments (12)
dayjo
my nana died of Alzhiemhers recently so this really speaks to me.
cagewench
I'm sorry about your nana. Thank you for commenting.
dream12
Beautiful pictures and writing. I've been where you are. And I was strong. For everyone. And somehow I got lost. Please! Don't forget yourself in all this turmoil and pain. I know now where that can lead, and it's a very long difficult road back. I'm forever changed, where once I was strong, a rock....now I'm weak. I'm afraid that's a permanent change. Life has a way of throwing these emotional twists and turns into our lives. We just have to know how to deal with them. You expressing them here is wonderful. Thank god for this outlet for you. My heart truly goes out to you. -HUG-
TallPockets
"Though I do not possess them I'm grateful their love is mine" -- I don't think someone can ask for more than that. Superb piece. V o t e.
romanceworks
Goodness, so sorry to hear you are going through so much. You have certainly expressed your emotions beautifully. Your poem is amazing. And very special photos, too. :o) CC
cagewench
dream12: thank you for the heartfelt advice, I am doing my best not to get lost in all this, but it is difficult as hell. hug TallPockets: blush thanks :) romanceworks: thank you... and, I'm a knob, I thought you'd been peeking through my gallery, but then I realized that the ones you've commented on are all on the first page of the "new" stuff ;)
boricua
My prayers go out to you. Hang in there.
cagewench
boricua: thank you... I appreciate it
AusPoet
They say life only throws those things at us that we can deal with. I do agree with this thought, although I often think it's kind of annoying, because it seems like some of us have to take on what others can't deal with. I think, Cara, that you might understand a little of this idea. My 6-year-old son has been recently diagnosed with Aspergers, although I have known pretty much all of his life that he was on the Autism Spectrum. It's not easy, but it definitely comes with its unique rewards. I love the following perspective on it: "With the right support and tolerant environment, Asperger Syndrome is not a life sentence, but rather a different outlook on the world, which can prove both refreshing and valuable." Everything comes with its pluses, so don't lose heart. Stay strong and as dream12 said, make sure to take care of yourself amidst all this difficulty.
cagewench
AusPoet... if you don't mind my asking, how did they diagnose it? Right now, they have just said it's a possibility because of some of his behaviours plus his lagging re: communication. and re your statement: "...life only throws those things at us that we can deal with. I do agree with this thought, although I often think it's kind of annoying, because it seems like some of us have to take on what others can't deal with." I completely agree and have thought so myself, though some days I find myself wondering if the universe over-estimated my ability to cope...
Rooster
Your poem and story put me to tears...please be strong. Keep your memories in your heart.
cagewench
thank you :)