The girl I used to be by cagewench
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Description
I'm missing "me" I guess... And as all these pics in the pic are of me, I did not take them, but I couldn't tell you who did either...
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The girl I used to be
Stalking Strutting Onto the dance floor Into the cage Illuminated by multi-coloured lights Outlined by strobe Every part of me connected Moving fluidly to the music Expressing my innermost soul By way of movement
Where did I lose myself The confident wench Sassy and flirtatious Never hiding from the spotlight Welcoming attention And people Into my sphere of influence And friendship With a quip and a smile Bestowing nicknames in a flash Connecting with people
With or without makeup Garbed in anything From patch-worked hippie chic To Guns
__________________________________________________________________________________
The girl I used to be
Stalking Strutting Onto the dance floor Into the cage Illuminated by multi-coloured lights Outlined by strobe Every part of me connected Moving fluidly to the music Expressing my innermost soul By way of movement
Where did I lose myself The confident wench Sassy and flirtatious Never hiding from the spotlight Welcoming attention And people Into my sphere of influence And friendship With a quip and a smile Bestowing nicknames in a flash Connecting with people
With or without makeup Garbed in anything From patch-worked hippie chic To Guns
Comments (27)
Crimmy
Very... reflective! Be who you are deep down inside, never what anybody 'expects' you to be.
cagewench
Ah, but my problem lies in my self-expectations... thanks for reading and commenting :)
squeeka
I think we all feel this way sometimes, I know I do :) I wonder where the girl who could stay up all night talking with friends or partying went and where the personality that went along with that went... Sometimes we expect an awful lot of ourselves and have a hard time living up to those expectations but we're the only ones who can either change them or realize them :) hugz from a fellow girl who used to be~jen :)
cagewench
thanks hugz back it is true, I used to manage a store and go clubbing 5 - 6 nights a wk, live on maybe 2 hrs of sleep per night, drink a LOT and fill my non-work time with my friends usually at the Club and afterwards... and now, here I am, an overweight, depressed, anxiety-ridden, SAHM and wife who barely wants to leave the apt... sigh
eternalwytch1
You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. Never let anyone tell you that you are anything but special, beautiful, wise, funny, talented. That includes you hun. Our own voice ringing in our ears hurts more than any other.
cagewench
eternalwytch1: "Our own voice ringing in our ears hurts more than any other." -- that is SO true!!!
netsia
buy a feather boa ;)....the 30's are tricky BUT you are strong, little sister.
cagewench
that's one thing that I, believe it or not, have NEVER owned... ;) I don't know if it's actually being in my 30s that makes me feel this way or if it's what's gone on in my life lately or if it's simply EVERYTHING sigh
cagewench
And in my last reply, I didn't mean to sounds as dejected as I think I did...
SimplySerendipity
is it weird that i own two feather boas? one hot pink and white, and one black. we can pull them out on saturday and revel in the silliness. :) i miss the old me sometimes too, which makes sense i guess since alot of the time she was the other half of you. we're already on our way to finding them again otherwise we wouldn't even care that we'd lost them. giggles we will dance on the speakers once again, whether mike likes it or not.
cagewench
ROTFLMAO!!!!! Wouldn't the boys love that this weekend?
KarenJ
Being a mother is damn hard work, not least in how it changes our perception of ourself, and society's expectations of us. But having a child - or a little extra weight - doesn't preclude having adult fun... It's just harder work :-p
cagewench
It's more than just the weight thing though... I can't quite figure out exactly what the magical combo is that makes me feel "blah" is...
AusPoet
Could it be that you have simply "evolved"? What we are fortunate enough to see in this gallery is a beautiful woman who has much to offer. Perhaps what has been missing is your knowledge of this fact. hugz! :-)
Lissa_lei
Also I have a great difficulty, in how to connect the parts of my life, much diffrent than yours, and I am never sure of who I am, or what I am, or where i fit, and many things torment my mind each and every day. As I never seem to fit in any place. Hope you understand what I mean, Eccellent *V. Lina
cagewench
Aus - HUGZ truly though, there's something missing, I just am not sure what it is... Lina - I do understand and empathize. hug
MOOOW
Aim to be better in life in any situation is so important ,there are many things in our life makes us that we go other direction !!! Thanks my friend,I love it,VOTE
cagewench
Hi MOOOW and welcome to my gallery :) Too funny though... I was writing in my LJ about being better ppl and such tonight.
Diago
hugs Well done. Relate beautifully and good luck.
TallPockets
Wonderful, thoughtful and well written piece. Vote.
cagewench
Thanks :)
SJMonkey
I like, it makes me think...I often feel as though I have lost something too, but I think it may be an illusion as when I think about it, the friends and interests that were true are still with me. Still, there is still that feeling and my relentless searching...
cagewench
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!
tony_br22
I understand
cagewench
thanks :)
meico
Reminiscences, like re-evaluations of self, are always bittersweet. But perhaps we should value them despite this as you have done so effectively here.
cagewench
meico... " Reminiscences, like re-evaluations of self, are always bittersweet." well said!