unbalanced by cagewench
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Description
I'm just stressed and depressed...
BTW, I just took this pic of my eye (yes, another eye pic) to go with this
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unbalanced
Kick me while I'm down attach the leeches to my flesh while I am already bathed in my own blood Pierce my eyes with knives while I already cry
dollar sign demons dance a jig on my parents' grave whirling, swirling their laughter as soft as shattered glass
Pry open my lips force-fed me add to my pain add to my shame while the Universe claps
So much unhappiness in a single year it's been unbalanced and feels unfair
Where is the happiness where is the window that should be open when all these doors slam in my face Where is the peace I seek in the world when others would seek it six feet under
My strength is waning my faith is fading let tomorrow be a better day
BTW, I just took this pic of my eye (yes, another eye pic) to go with this
________________________________________________________________________________
unbalanced
Kick me while I'm down attach the leeches to my flesh while I am already bathed in my own blood Pierce my eyes with knives while I already cry
dollar sign demons dance a jig on my parents' grave whirling, swirling their laughter as soft as shattered glass
Pry open my lips force-fed me add to my pain add to my shame while the Universe claps
So much unhappiness in a single year it's been unbalanced and feels unfair
Where is the happiness where is the window that should be open when all these doors slam in my face Where is the peace I seek in the world when others would seek it six feet under
My strength is waning my faith is fading let tomorrow be a better day
Comments (28)
eternalwytch1
Oh sweetie... such powerful words to describe such pain. Hugs you tight Let it all out... let the words wash away the hurts.
cagewench
I don't how much of me is left if I let the words wash the hurt away... I think I am 90% hurt...
Ensomniac
YOU have much to give, that's why so many take from you. But when you give, IT does'nt leave YOU. IT makes YOU bigger and better. Remember too, YOU are not your mind. Within our minds is where all the stuff, the pain, the hurt, lives and feeds. Is your mind not just part of your phisical body? YOU are separate from all of that. YOU, YOUR SOUL, IS STRONGER THAN YOUR MIND...We can't ignor the pain or sorrows in life, but we can re-condition our minds to accept it and know that our souls,what really keep us going, are more powerful than all the pain and sorrow the world has to offer. You're a strong soul! Smile!
Doodles
Such powerful, poignant and anguished words. Your command of self expression continue to amaze me. I've read somewhere "It's always blackest before the dawn." Hang in there, a new day will come. Things will get better.
cagewench
thank you
cagewench
Doodles, I love how you slid a nice compliment in there as well as offering some advice/hope :) Thanks...
meico
A well-expressed portion of personal pain ... I do hope it is at least partially expiatory for you ... though your hurt seems wide-ranging and deeply embedded. V
cagewench
it's been a very sh*tty year and a bad wk... :(
xxxander
hugs I can SO relate to this..it gave me chills...my year has been pretty crappy..actually my last 4 years..but I try to get thru each day and hope for a better one tomorrow..I will hope your tomorrow is better too!!! hugs again Yell if you need to vent! or just talk!
cagewench
thanks, and ditto back to you... IM, email, LJ - anything hug
nativebaby
Excellent,You put alot of feeling in yor peoms.Yes I wonder to where is the happiness this has been a bad year.
cagewench
2005 has GOT to be better...
Lissa_lei
Your despair is so deep Cara-Mae, and I see that you find no comfort, I can only feel for you and with you, and hope you find some peace.Lina
cagewench
thank you, Lina
iamkate101
Gosh, your words are filled with over whelming pain and I only wish I had the words to sooth and comfort you. I can only say that there is always hopes and dreams and that no one can take that away from you, not only are they not strong enough but no one is deserving enough to be able to take that. After having several major losses and huge stresses the past few years, all I can tell you from my heart is that it WILL get better. And each day look for the one good thing to be thankful for and they add up and ease the pain. ::hugs;:
bluliner35
bad year and week and time. i'm sorry. Any words I could out down really don't address or honor what you've shared. I hear you, and I'm sorry. Somewhere on that road, at any given point, all along it, truth lies inside you. There is a leap of faith, an act of trust, an acceptance that must happen if you wish to honor that truth. It is, after all, honoring yourself. That trust, that faith, that path may be the hardest one of all. But it's real.
cagewench
iamkate101 and bluliner35: thank you both... today was a boil that was lanced and tomorrow is as yet unknown...
TallPockets
First, a superb written work. Vote. Second, my dear late father always gave me some good 'advice'. He said, "The first 100 years are the hardest. After that, it's a breeze". WINK. Or, in the words of Eddie Kendricks of Motown song fame, "Keep on Truckin'". Hang tough. T.P.
KarenJ
"My strength is waning/my faith is fading/let tomorrow be a better day" I hope so too. Good work as ever. Keep your chin up, nothing lasts forever.
cagewench
OK, it's yesterday's "tomorrow" -- let's see how it goes... Brian, Karen - thanks :)
netsia
as someone said: 'the only constant is change'....and there are many places to dwell
cagewench
tis true...
AusPoet
It's good to see that despite all the negatives that have been in your world, and despite all the pain that you are experiencing as a result, you still look at tomorrow as one that has some remaining semblance of hope. hugz to you Cara.
cagewench
thanks hugz back it seriously was just a truly sh*tty wk, the worst one since Mom died...
Diago
Hey Girl, something I once again can fully relate to and understand. Somehow I think I am sitting around waiting for the year to end in a very false hope that next year will be better. Hope things will get better for you soon. hugs
cagewench
hugz back I've got the same hope for 2005...
dido6
Very powerful words and wow do I feel some of them right now. You have such a gift for using words to create and convey deep emotion. Well done as always!
cagewench
thank you...