Someone by miserys_extacy
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Description
I hate myself today
Only wish I could be someone else
Walk around and have no one notice
Or maybe cause everyone to stop and stare
Wish my shoes were a little looser
Or that my inseam weren't so long
Kinda hate my black hair today
What about blue or blonde
If only my waist were a few sizes smaller
Or my skin a little softer
Maybe my nails wouldn't look like shit
Or my fingertips wouldn't be so callused
If only I were someone else.
Everytime I get so high
I find a way to pull me back down
What if only I were different
I would simply hate myself tomorrow
Never will I be content
When being restless is so simple
I always find the easy way out
What does my efffort get me
There are always those ready to take my prize
So hard to see the light
When I can't even believe in heaven
What if I could find some love
Put my happiness on someone else's shoulders
Would I be content
Without the control I love to know
Comments (12)
miserys_extacy
I don't know really if this is finished, bu I reached a point where I was done with it for a little bit, so i figured I could stick it on here for a while. Please leave me a comment so I can figure out what to do with this:) Thanks for taking time to look:)
cagewench
I think this is really good, it's expressive, it moves nicely... I would probably have graced the line about the hair with the rhyme by switching the positions of blond and blue... you've used "Is" in the line about tkaing your prize, but it's after "those" so it should be "are" rather than "is"... I sort of feel that "I'd love to know" could be better placed on its own line, but that's just my feel, and you are the artist :) Oh and the BEST line pasrt, the part that spoke to me the most as one restless soul to another was/is: "Never will I be content When being restless is so simple"
miserys_extacy
Thanks!
netsia
'Without the control I love to know'....it is when the control blends with anothers that it works. But then none of us has true control, just the connection :) I like this, as is. V
miserys_extacy
Good point. Thanks.
eternalwytch1
Great work hun, the emotions really come through.
TallPockets
"Please leave me a comment so I can figure out what to do with this:) " -- You're asking 'me'??? Have you read my stuff here??? WINK. Superb piece. Vote.
miserys_extacy
Awww! :)
cynlee
i cannot possibly offer suggestions on writing, the emotional turmoil of youth comes through :] & welcome to RR!
dayna2
Excellent writing, Well done!!
gallimel
This poem is something I truly felt near to. I used to feel so similarly years ago.. and your vivd style impressed me till the point I could recall all. You write really well. send me IMs when you upload new stuff.. I'll be glad to check furtherly more :)
miserys_extacy
My art skills are pretty pathetic, as can easily be see, so if anyone is willing to help me with thumbnails, that would be fantastic!