BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (14)
Jay7347
As always yo...from the soul...deep inside where the fears reside. Takes a lot of guts sometimes to show that part of ourselves to the world. Hope the sun shines warmly where you are. peace yo! -jay
SaintFox
Very touching and very true. I draw my hat - you managed to express something express with image that I myself not even can express with words.
Synapse
It works sometimes and not others because everything comes and goes in waves, in and out of synch, as is the fabric of life itself. But always this place reveals that you're not alone. And that can be one of the greatest reassurances.
blackbrior
yes, very true. no one can express themselves in a better way than art. I love how you have given the picture so much depth, and truth. excellent job.
cbender
i know your feelings - even thought it does not seem to be like that... and i attend jim - it may gome and go - it may work or not... most important for me is that it works sometimes... so i continue... thanks for sharing...!
Zacko
Sweeeeeet!!! That is such an incredible piece of art. Powerful message too, well done!!!
efry_e
:D I agree. IT was how I strated anyway... It was the only thing that made me feel good. The only thing that gave me back love with colors, didn't tell me what to do or say.... my little creations. You are surely not alone here.
bevchiron
I think Jim said it all already, you really captured that feeling of breakthrough we can get with our art & also the feeling of how elusive that can sometimes be.
gunsan
Powerful and with a striking message as all of your works.
briarwitch
...Sometimes it works...sometimes it's worse...How true. Its like looking at everyone's wonderful expressions (or stories, or my daughter's poetry). Sometimes I don't get it. Sometimes it helps to feel the pain. Sometimes it makes it worse. ~lost
gallimel
My words just aren't enough to express the depth I find in your works.
rhainne
very very awsome :o)
Digimon
Yeah if it were not for my art, I would be a sad and hateful person. Sometimes I am anyway. Peace.
A_
what a masterpiece. and so true.