Ginny, just keep expressing your thoughts as you do.. Here's a picture I heard of this morning.. A painting that expressed many of the artist's painful experiences, but when she looked again, there was a splodge right across it. "Ruined!" She thought. Then when she wasn't looking, a Hand came and designed that splodge into something so very beautiful - not obliterating the past in any way, but rather, complimenting it and making the whole thing into something very, very beautiful.. God's work in each of our lives! He can, if we allow Him, turn all the bad, like stepping stones, into something incredibly good, not just for ourselves, but for others along the way too...

Unfortunately, knowledge brings pain. Some of us can plod along in life, content with the day to day existance of family friends and work. Others, well...we have to know why. The more we learn, it seems the more unhappy we become. The more we learn, the more we find out we will never know. We just keep asking...We find hope and reason and acceptance with those of us who are the same. The small percentage of the world.

Dear Ginny, the most important thing is to do what you are doing - TALK - we'll all listen - and IM me - particularly, IM me at night when it gets too quiet. I'm on almost every night until the very early morning hours - so IM me. Here's something to try with the past. Another technique I've used with painfil things. Start with the memory in full blown living color - and then let the colors fad out in you mind - the knowledge of what happened is still there - but the sting, the emotions, the color of the memory is gone. Visualization is a powerful thing. It has helped some - and perhaps it will help you. Perhaps it can help a lot of us!!! Love, Meredith

Finding answers in which you seek is there not in your past but rather scrawled upon the walls of your future. Yet light is a must have to see themand from your words, I know you know this HUGE, HUGE HUGS from me to the ALL of YOU! As also I too sometimes dawn armor so hugs also armor to armor clang, clang hey I just realized we can make music doing this "Big Fun Smiles" Keep it up!

Ginny, Have you been reading my journals? What you write, I have said, and written more times than I can count, through the years. Just hang in there and I M me if you need to! Leanndra

He who controls the past, controls the present and therefore the future.. George Orwell 1984... While you can't change the events of the past, you can control how you view them and what they give you.

your not so different I think all of us wonder this and that and whay this and that we wouldn't be human or even healthy if we could just wash away bad past memeories or hurt the trick is to let the bad go and bring in the good do this its helps! "get up everyday and say this to yourselve " I am going to live today like its my last" and boy does it ever work My sister was a terrible worrier she worried about everything need a answer to everyting she passed away a few years ago where did that get her?? no where!love hugs evie

Excellent. I too, ask far too many questions for many people. LOL. I guess the one thing I've had to admit to myself, however, is that if I can't get answers where I usually seek them from, then I need to find a new source for my questions? WINK. T.P.