BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (8)
Jay7347
Straight to the core yO...nicely done! vote -jay
titta
Nothing is ever enouigh! Not despair, not happiness, not beauty, not ugliness. And there's never enough art like yours, Yo. This is a great combination of words and visions; winding together like weird lovers.
briarwitch
titta is right. ~lost
gunsan
Agree with Titta too!!
Synapse
I feel for you, Yo. It can be hard to say that without sounding trite almost, but I do. Just never believe the voices, life is here to be lived in all its shades.
bevchiron
The power of those voices echoing in the emptiness with no escape is conveyed with such direct clarity & depth of feeling in your work Yo, this is almost overwhelming in it's striking & painful simplicity, I really feel for you too & admire your strength as you stand against them & continue to create in spite of it all.
duncanlong
Excellent work!
cbender
titta said it... yes... it's amazing how you're able to make me feel... a kind of empathy...