Hooow-ooooooooll!!! Hey, it's okay: When you know what life is, you won't be scared.

Ginny, as you will know, I've written privately to you. I felt in light of sensitivity towards yourself, others, and the community itself, the wisest thing to do was to remove that word from here so as not to cause undue controversy within Rendo. I think that was maybe a violation of what Rendo is all about... I'm sorry about that. Nicky.

Dearest Ginny, Look for the light; it might be a miniscule spark right now, peaking out of all the chaos and pain. Although it is there in your life, I can see it in your words. You as well as I know nothing worth anything is easy. Therefore, now that all theses walls are caving in on your world, know it is there. Don't think it might be. Continue to spread your glorious wings, as you are here and look inside yourself, there is a window waiting for you to wipe away the ash from its glass and look through itfinding the strength you need now. You know who you are you know the light is there. Wrap your fist in cloth "that strength within" and break away the darkness allowing your light to beam forth enveloping all that is of youDon't hope, don't beg, don't pleadknow the light is there in youI see ityou can tooLook, heal, and breathe always in your corner HUGS!

If you ever need to vent.... HUGZ

Ginny, Talk about emotional overload! How sad! I am so sorry for your losses! Words can't convey what the heart feels, not adequately! As you know, you and I have had similar experiences with family relatives! I wish there were an easy answer and a guarantee that it would work. All I can suggest to you that might help is to take some time every day when you first get up if you can, and read some of the Psalms from the Bible. When I was going through things I could only barely handle, when anger, even rage, fear, disgust all those negative but real emotions, reading Psalms brought me a certain amount of strength and peace! As for the funeral, since it is Friday, I am presuming you have been, or will be going soon perhaps! Walk in there with your head held high, lady! You have no reason to fear him now! I know the part of us where the inner child lives becomes afraid very easily! As strange as this might sound, I used to write letters to that little girl I used to be. Because basically she was either ignored, or abused. For many years I felt like she was dead! So as an adult, I wrote to 'her' and explained things to her. Many things I feared as a child were from seeing violence done, being the recipient of some of that violence, but much was also from the active imagination of a child too. For me writing to that little girl, linked us together, (that probably sounds strange, but it is the only way I know how to explain it). I told her I would protect her, that she would always be safe with me. She was a different person than I am. Sometimes that child still needs the acknowledgment from our adult self! I hope this helps in some small way! If you need to talk, you know how to reach me! Leanndra

Breathe deep, kind soul. May PEACE & LOVE soon fill your heart. My best, TallPockets/brian. HANG TOUGH!

All I can say is hang in there... I don't know much about life cause I am still kinda young(19 to be exact). But what you wrot e kinda touched me in a strange way.... If it helps you could try screaming into a pillow or ripping up paper. (that helps me sometimes.) I hope everything will be ok soon.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they just need to get away from all the pain and all the hurt. I know how this feels, seeing as how two years of my life I was the target of bullying that bent and twisted me into the person I am today. All I can say is hang in there. The light is there, it's just covered by darkness and coldness. We all search our entire lives for this light, and when we find it, we embrace it with all that we have. So, hold on tight, and keep searching for your light.

He is listening .My love and prayers go out to you

Dear Gin, still playing catch uo - as always!! You are really going through some difficult times. I hope that you get your chance to breathe - and I hope that God finds a way to lessen your pain. I pray that!!!! My heart reaches out to you!!! Love, Meredith

Dearest, I will pray for you as well, dear. For a chance to heal, a chance to breathe. hugs