I have to say, this forum is looking dead posh now. Love the Library! I could really do with some feedback on the poem below. I would appreciate any advice, but if it's technical please dumb it down or I won't understand:-) One of my biggest problems with this is the fact that I keep feeling I've stolen someone elses lines. Have I? I don't read poetry, but it just feels too familiar. Is this me rereading too much or am I an unintentional thief? It is the second half (gap inserted for this purpose) which feels too fluid to be mine even though it came straight from the heart! Dust. I feel you fumbling in the dark And tense for your attack. In our silent battleground our bed All bets are off under the covers. In the surrounding dark you do not see my tears. This I hold to my heart. You shame me, but you cannot see my shame. I loved you so very much, not so very long ago. Where did that go? How did this, our favourite act become a fearsome trial? You seem the same now, to my critics eye. Do nothing different from the way I loved so well. Speak the same voice, same words, same day. Buy the same flowers, same colour, same day. What have you done? I do not understand. Or did I do it, all unknowing? Yesterday I think I still craved for your touch. Or was it yesteryear that my love turned to dust?

I had a hard time with the meter the first time through reading it to myself, but upon reading it outloud it seemed to flow much better. It is a sad poem, and moving. "I keep feeling I've stolen someone elses lines...it just feels too familiar. " Paul McCartney felt the same way when he wrote Yesterday. :-) jon

OOOOOps. Correction Line three supposed to be In this silent battleground our bed. ps thanks jstro, I wish I had my own island to live on!

I'm not the poetry reader here so the fact that it doesn't sound familiar to me doesn't mean very much. I think it was just in your mind for so long that it seemed familiar...I've had that happen. I don't think you're a plagarist. That sense of change within a relationship is a time honored theme, but there's no reason why it can't continue to be explored with a fresh approach. Write on. :)

Ok suzie love is not a battlefield. It is an assault with the intent to committ kiddery. A kiss is a head on collision resulting in no injuries to either party. The relationship between men and women is like a coin each side in diametric apposition. I had to look at your site to see from which viewpoint you write and can only say it's not baaaaaaaad.