Forum Moderators: wheatpenny, Wolfenshire
Writers F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Nov 18 1:45 pm)
LOL, Shanna...an egg???? :) I love that. BTW, mafenther ... "its food" is the possessive "it's food" means "it is food" which means Lust and greed is it's food translates as Lust and greed is it is food which I'm betting is not what you want. Laying is the act of putting something down, including ones self - laying his gun on the table Lying is to lie flat, prone- she was lying on the couch I think your snowman is lying beside the snow angel. There are some other things a spell check would fix. I tend to post before proofing so don't take this as a major complaint but coming from a person who does the same thing....I am not a spelling or grammar whiz by any means.
I think the answer is passion.
One thing that jumps out right away is the really long line in the middle of the poem. I'd cut out a few words and break it up into 2 or 3 lines:
Brightening it to where it will show the snow covered caverns
and the decapitated snowman laying beside the snow angel,
impaled by the everlasting icicle.
And a gud spel cheker iz a happee thing! ;-)
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It is everlasting It is what we need Is is what our heart feels like, When it is burning with desire. It is what consumes us all, When we are doused with hatred. It is what comes after the tears, Growing bigger and stronger over the years. Lust and greed is it's food It is what will lead a path of destruction through our lives It is what gives us that impulse to become a little demonic child. It is what lights the darkest of all hearts. Brightening it to wher eit will show the snow covered caverens and the decapitated snowman laying beside the snow angel who is impaled by the everlasting icicle. It is what will lead to the destruction of mankind Slowly devouring each and every sould, you nor I can escape it. It is everywhere, it is everlasting...... Please tell me what you think of this.