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Subject: Eicha's Hack Parts 1-3


jarm ( ) posted Wed, 09 July 2003 at 9:08 AM · edited Sun, 10 November 2024 at 4:40 AM

Well I figured I'd post some of my latest pictures which have a running story alongside it. I'm making this one up as I go, 3 installments so far, any critiscms or comments welcome.


jarm ( ) posted Wed, 09 July 2003 at 9:09 AM

file_66217

Part 1 Eicha's vacant eyes stared at the computer screen as it flashed up reams of scrolling text. Eicha sat motionless, the only sign of life was her rhythmatic breathing, the text continued darting backwards and forwards as the text continued its journey into digital oblivion. Eicha wasn`t actually reading it, a collection of interface cable hung from her head and snaked their way to an interface box in the ceiling, a connection cable dropped into the back of the computer system, the text was being transmitted directly into her brain, no reading, just instant translation from digital information to biological storage, virtually realtime comprehension. The screen was merely a way of showing people outside of The Network what Eicha was doing, but there was nobody else around to share the information, Eicha was alone. Eicha was almost always alone, at least, in a physical sense. Her apartment was minimalistic, a shadow residence, just enough for Eicha to survive, there were no possessions to speak of, only an assortment of computer parts, cables and stacks of hardcopy ascitate, strewn across the empty room. It was a cheap place, concrete floors, grimy walls, it wasn't meant to be homely. Eicha`s body shuffled in the leather chair, her skin momentarily stuck to the leather as her partially-naked form rose out of the chair, the material creaked as her skin peel off, she reached up to her head, her fingers running along the interface cables until it stopped at the circular implant at the bottom of her skull. With a sharp tug the cable pulled free, the computer screen went black and Eicha groaned. She stumbled forward, her clammy feet gripped the cold grill on the floor, momentarily causing pain as her foot pushed hard against the sharp metal, as her empty hand rested against the small desk she had been sitting at. The cable dropped silently onto the floor as Eicha watched several droplets of blood trickle onto the floor, she reached up and touched her nose, with another finger, the edge of her eyes and mouth. More blood... Oh shit. Eicha`s voice was shaky, rough, hoarse. She started to move towards the bathroom, but as she started to walk, she fell forwards, her eyes glazed over and she collapsed onto the floor.


jarm ( ) posted Wed, 09 July 2003 at 9:09 AM

file_66218

Part 2 The metal support of the table came into view, blurry at first, only the rough form could be made out, then, after a minute, it came into focus, the elaborate patterns of light reflected danced all over in a pallette of white, greys and silvers. Eicha blinked, her eyes stung as her eye lids rubbed dried blood against her eyeballs. She sat up and leant against the table leg. Carefully she wiped the blood away from her eyes, she could feel more dried blood on her philtrum and lips. Twelve hours hooked into The Network, twelve hours absorbing information. Eicha had always said she`d be cutting back. She laughed to herself, she had made that promise after her first seizure when she`d been hooked in for two hours. Her implants allowed much higher capacity access to most people, who usually would experience The Network through slower and more controlled VR goggles or regulated implants. Eicha`s implant had nothing regular about it, it was a custom built set from Achiharaba in Japan, the finest underground techies had put it together from her specifications, two hours max they said, dangerous exposure, two hours at those speeds was like an eternity in netspace, but she always needed more. After seeing The Network through her implants, she couldn`t go back to standard equipment, nobody she knew who had a similar rig ever could, the Netcops would use the performance drop to put her mind out of business for good. Anyway, there was nothing worse for reputation than going online with obsolete or substandard equipment and in The Network, reputation was everything.. But it had been getting harder, her reason for being inside The Network was forcing her to netdive for longer and longer without a break, hardly any water or food and rarely sleep, after three weeks of living on the edge, logged in for ten hours minimum, sometimes as long as twenty, she was at breaking point. But the work had to go on, that was no question, no doubt. Her body screamed, but the mind was as focused as ever. Eicha rose to her feet, she ran her hand through her long, greasy brown hair, her fingers caught in twisted knots, forcing her to cry out in surprise and sudden pain, she glanced down at her sweat covered body and sighed as she took note of her own body's stench. Careful steps followed as she shuffled towards the bathroom. Slowly the world around her began to seem more coherant as her brain allowed itself the pleasure of real stimulation from the senses rather than the simulated ones of The Network. Eicha's palms slid as she rested against the dull grimy, grey wall, she pushed firmer to anchor herself as she tried to recover her composure, her eyes glanced at her reflection, she was exhausted, in pain, she needed sleep, netdiving would have to wait a few hours, there was too much risk of a fatal mistake.


jarm ( ) posted Wed, 09 July 2003 at 9:10 AM

file_66219

Part 3 Eicha leant against the doorway, she could feel the pressure inside her head, she was having difficulty focusing, her breathing was fast and heavy. She'd been in the middle of a netdive, four hours watching the incoming and outgoing traffic of the target computer system. Watching where to slip in unnoticed to the system. She'd gone in through a public fax buffer, riding a thin bandwidth connection to the main network when the ICE had caught up with her trail, with very bandwidth to counter the hostile security program with she had been caught by it. Within a few nanoseconds she could feel her body seizing up, the ICE was rewriting the simulation code from her computer to her interface, making her body think it was having hemorrhaging. She had managed to pull the interface cables out before she lost consciousness. Straight away she knew they were tracing her signal, the point of the ice wasn't to kill her, it was to incapacitate her so that the corporate's security forces could capture her. Quickly she had grabbed some clothes and ran. That was four hours ago, she had got away, but she knew she was in trouble, the ICE's effects, coupled with her own stress of the recent netdiving, was tipping her over the edge. She needed somewhere safe, somewhere to rest, somebody to trust...


Shoshanna ( ) posted Wed, 09 July 2003 at 11:21 AM

Not that I'm greedy or anything, but.. more please :-) Shanna :-) Loves the illustrations. (ps, I got a bit lost in part 3 "with very bandwidth to counter security program with she had been caught by it")



tien_avielle ( ) posted Wed, 09 July 2003 at 4:25 PM

Absolutely gripping - a few lines need a bit of correction/clarification (i.e. proof-reading before final output) - The poses are wonderful (but I resent that she has no midrif bulge in frame 2, lol!) I really what to know what happens next (same as in the other story I read at your site)... You have a great sense for pacing your tales. What more can I say, I truly like your adventures!


jarm ( ) posted Thu, 10 July 2003 at 1:43 AM

Hi all Thanks for the comments, yes I know there are some typos in there, forgot to sort them out before posting. Part 4 will be in the gallery in the next day or so if anybody wants to know what happens next. best wishes Jody


tien_avielle ( ) posted Thu, 10 July 2003 at 2:19 AM

Hi Jody - I'm on a mission to get a place for "graphic novels" here at Renderosity. You are so very good at them ... but, alas, I'd insist you complete them before posting, haha...this "waiting" is painful!


jarm ( ) posted Thu, 10 July 2003 at 2:32 AM

I'm making this up as I go along, (but don't tell anybody that)


Shoshanna ( ) posted Thu, 10 July 2003 at 3:06 AM

I won't tell, just so long as you keep going along :-) Shanna... is it the next day yet?



Crescent ( ) posted Sun, 13 July 2003 at 4:46 PM

Very well done. There's some run-on sentences which get a bit confusing, but there's a good balance of action and description to keep the reader going. Sample run-on: *Eicha wasnt actually reading it, a collection of interface cable hung from her head and snaked their way to an interface box in the ceiling, a connection cable dropped into the back of the computer system, the text was being transmitted directly into her brain, no reading, just instant translation from digital information to biological storage, virtually realtime comprehension.* Here's my suggestion on the first one: Eicha wasnt actually reading it. A collection of interface cables hung from her head and snaked their way to an interface box in the ceiling while a connection cable dropped into the back of the computer system. The text was being transmitted directly into her brain: no reading, just instant translation from digital information to biological storage, virtually realtime comprehension. On the pictoral side, good job with lighting, though I'm not fond of the motion blur on picture one. Cheers!


jarm ( ) posted Sun, 13 July 2003 at 4:53 PM

file_66220

Hi Crescent Thanks for the suggestion, I will re-edit that. I find it very difficult to proof read my own work, I generally just know what I WANTED to write, rather than what I ended up writing :-) The blurring on the first image was an attempt at getting some sense of drama into the scene, I have the non-blur version and debated for sometime on that one. Here's a small version of the poster I've created, the series is now called Borderline and I came up with this image of Eicha for the poster. Best wishes jody


tien_avielle ( ) posted Mon, 14 July 2003 at 4:32 PM

As I wrote elsewhere - I'm very excited by your illustrated adventure! When you are rich and famous, you'll have a proof-reader to spruce it up (-: Excellent stuff. (And a nice cheer for Crescent for using the forum to proofread for you... what a splendid gesture... I'm enjoying this alternative environment more each time I visit!)


tien_avielle ( ) posted Mon, 14 July 2003 at 4:37 PM

PS - sorry, one suggestion from me... Before you send the cover to the printer, I'd take it into a paint program and improve the look of her left elbow. The rest is photorealistic - only that joint gives it away. (Common problem with Poser - I always have to go into a paint program and fix elbows and kneecaps)


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