Today I was diagnosed with something called Macular Degeneration,...which affects the human eyes. The long and short of it means in the not to distant future I'll be unable to see,.........I'll be blind. The doc's say about 2 - 5 years. I'm only 51 for crying out loud ! This explains a lot about why my images have been suffering (getting crappier). Of course my first instinct is to say screw it and go get hammered out of my mind. I don't really know why I'm posting this here,.........other than the fact this is one of the few places in the world that I feel I belong to something worthwhile, something valid. I will be posting a lot of WIP's,......so if you see something amiss, not quite right with a particular image, please let me know, say something,.......it might be the only way I will know. Afterall, if your friends can't give C&C, who can. God I feel depressed right now ! Like I want to smash something ! Right now I wish I could visit each one of you in person, meet you and discuss and otherwise hobnob with my fellow wizards, so to speak. OK,.....that's enough for now,.....any more and I'll get all maudlin. Thanks for your attention,.....TOM(sackrat).

I'll be glad when March is over! I just keep hearing bad news. Tom, after hearing about Pidjy yours is the worst news I've had. I'm all screwed up with other people getting bad news like yours and I really hope they can sort something out for you. If it helps, I'd be only too pleased to help out with your wips anyway I can.... My advice? Get smashed, then get sober. It always helped me get my head together. Chris

Tom, sorry to hear your bad news, this is a bad month for news that's for sure. Spend a day getting smashed, sober up and then see what your options are, there is new research everyday on your illness, fight it tooth and nail. You know we will support you no matter what happens, we are a family after all....sending a little magic your way...

sackrat, I'm 52 and a couple of months ago I thought for sure I had age related macular degeneration. There was a spot about the size of my little fingernail held at arms length directly on the optic axis that was slightly yellow tinted and blurry. It was not always there. The doc took 40 flash pictures of my retina (what an experience and cost $250). He said I definately don't have AMD. Big relief. However, when I blink my eyes or move them fast I will see a lingering circle of high contrast "particles" in the exact centerline of sight. Are my symptoms anything like yours? I still get worried even if my doc is a professor at USC! For your benifit check out any ongoing research projects. Here in CA. there is a need for volunteers for a new treatment for AMD. I've also heard about laser activated dyes that patch up the leaky vessels. good luck and please answer my question.

I'm with Chris...I'll be glad when March is over too. :( Sackrat, I think you may have just voiced something that is probably one the biggest fears of people, especially those who create things visually... the possibility of losing your sight. Unsolicited advice is -- get a second opinion. Check into every possible therapy. Start taking bilberry with leutein (sp). It may be an herbal remedy but it works. My mother has had glaucoma for about 10 years. She started taking bilberry shortly after she was diagnosed and the opthomologiest is amazed every year that the glaucoma hasn't progressed past the initial stage still. Damn. I'll be thinking of you. Susan

This sucks big time, I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis Tom. My mom has Macular Degeneration and her doctor is always checking up on her condition. This sure puts a damper on things. Yeah, get plastered if it'll make you feel better, then, when you recover check out WebMD, here's a quick link to AMD, it might help to educate yourself further to help you cope with this disease.

WebMD-AMD

I know what you mean Tom. I lost the tunnel vision in my right eye when I was about 10 yrs old. I am 42 yrs old now and it sure is and has been quite a hinderance. I am slowly losing the vision in that eye and fear that I will eventually be blind in my right eye. Fortunately my left eye is still going strong. Losing sight makes you see everything in a different way. (not meant to be funny). Eelie is right.... 2nd opinion is a good idea. Don't just give up and give in to it. Ya never know.... they may just figure out how to combat it tomarrow... figuratively speaking. I will pray for you Tom.

Hope it isn't AMD. As swade says, don't give up and don't give in.

Swade, is it just me, or are our prayer lists getting longer? Sackrat, as I said to Pidjy, Over the mountains and the sea Your river runs with love for me And I will open up my heart And let The Healer set me free If He can tell my brain hemmorage to take a hike.......... well, it's certainly worth asking for!

Manimal - when I was 16 (long time ago!) I suddenly started walking into things, when I came into a room my eyes couldn't adjust to the change in light, and I couldn't see anything straight ahead. Turned out I had a large blind spot right in the centre of my vision, that was increasing in size. It's so long ago and I'm so dozy that I can't remember the details. I had drops in my eyes to dilate the pupils for about 3 months, and wore dark glasses. I don't know what it was, I don't think the specialist knew what it was, but it did eventually go away. Sound anything like what's happening with you? sackrat - I'm so sorry to hear your news. What country are you in? If your specialist says there's nothing to be done, it'd be worth going abroad to get a second opinion. I hafta say if my sight was at risk I'd probably mortgage the house to go to a specialist in France for another opinion. If I couldn't raise the money myself I'd ask friends and family to fund-raise. And like eelie says, it's worth using all the alternative therapies as well - particularly if you've been told conventional medicine has nothing to offer. It's worth doing a lot of research on the internet to see if new therapies are being developed.

Tom, so very sorry to hear this, but as the other guys said don't give up, keep searching for any kind of remedy or help and believe you have a chance to beat this! Get smashed if that will help, that's probabley what I would do and if I can help in any way, just ask! Thinking of you - John.

Tom, cant add anything new to whats already been said Im afraid, but just to let you know that there is yet another of your friends thinking of you. I do agree that it may be worthwhile exploring other avenues, though. Dont give up yet.

My mom has this and swears by taking lots of herbal remedies she has slowed, if not stopped it's progression. She is an artist too. Read everything you can about this and fight back.

My grandmother was diagnosed with this Macular Degeneration, though she never went totally blind even when she died at 87. I understand it is caused by a lifetime of wearing glasses. See http://www.myopia.org/ for more information. If this is true, then I'm doomed too. I'm 54 and still no symptoms, yet. My aunt also has this and is nearly blind. Both women wore glasses all their lives. I say find an eye doctor that isn't afraid to treat it...go down fighting, as they say. Our sight is too terriby important to lose, especially for artists. However, it's not the end of the world, either. I told my aunt there is always music to listen to, and things like that. If it happens to me, I'll be listening to Bach, Mozart, Chopin, Beethoven, etc., a LOT more. Best wishes to you!

I'm sorry to hear your bad news....don't give up....my thoughts are with you..! hugs

@ Melansian_Mentat I believe we are lengthening our prayer lists by quite a bit lately. But this is good. Who better to pray for than our friends.

All good support and advice. Esp 2nd opin. & research. You only receive the treatment you demand in our society. Demand everything. Ask an old lady, my mother-in-law has had Mac Deg for 30 years, she is now 96. She still reads. I hope I am as fortunate as she. We will keep you in our prayers. Mike

tom, sorry to hear this is happening to you. but fight the good fight - you never know what may yet happen to help you. you are in my prayers lee

I know exactly how you feel Tom with the prospect of going blind, the way my diabetes is it could happen any time to me too. But do keep your chin up because you don't know what developements they'll come up with in the near future, I mean, even I have laser surgey to look forward to which could keep me seeing for some time yet. I wish you the best of everything Tom and hope that the light will stay on for as long as possible. 8) Catlin