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Subject: New element discovered, "Governmentium"


electroglyph ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 4:26 PM ยท edited Sun, 24 November 2024 at 12:20 PM

file_130298.jpg

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes 1 reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal 1/2-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.


RodsArt ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 4:30 PM

ROFLMAO....Classic!!!

___
Ockham's razor- It's that simple


Yoro ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 4:37 PM

Funny that Governmentium has discovered only recently - so widely spread as it is. In all cases I can assure you that here in Germany the sources of this element are enormous! rotflmao, too!


diolma ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 5:26 PM

This looks like an extreme example of ablocium (Advanced Beyond Level Of Competence element). :-)) (Yeah, ok, my fizzics isn't valid..) LOL!! (and yet another ROFLMAO!!)



artbyphil ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 6:16 PM

Brilliant , very funny (and sadley true all over the planet it seems):)

ย 


TheBryster ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 8:37 PM
Forum Moderator

LMAO!

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And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...


xenic101 ( ) posted Thu, 23 September 2004 at 11:04 PM

Has anyone mentioned ROLFLMAO?


chohole ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 1:35 AM

Message671422.jpg

The greatest part of wisdom is learning to developย  the ineffable genius of extracting the "neither here nor there" out of any situation...."



pogmahone ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 1:50 AM

....and it's been found across the whole planet


bandolin ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 7:52 AM

What's ROLFLMAO?


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pogmahone ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 8:07 AM

ride on low-flying looping machine, all over OK, that one wasn't great. I'm sure someone will have funnier suggestions.......


bandolin ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 9:44 AM

What's a Low-Flying Looping Machine? Forgive my ignorance, I'm a shut-in ;-D


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Colette1 ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 1:12 PM ยท edited Fri, 24 September 2004 at 1:13 PM

bandolin,
ROLFLMAO= rolling on the floor laughing my a** off.

Message edited on: 09/24/2004 13:13


diolma ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 4:04 PM

Hmmm - inspiration just struck... Pic of several a**es lying on (well-textured) floor, separated from their respective (laughing) owners under a stern-looking set of governmentiums... All done purely in Bryce, of course. :-)) Cheers, Diolma



zakalwe ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 4:10 PM

Are you sure this isn't a fake picture? I mean that what happens around the nucleus seems to be too clean. I supposed a more caothic movement. But maybe this is only due to my italian backgruond ;D


pakled ( ) posted Fri, 24 September 2004 at 5:49 PM

wouldn't the Heisenberg effect be accellerated by the observance of free elections..er, electrons? might go from one state to another, giving off vast amounts of heat, but no energy..I suppose you could say it's the densest element, has a very high (some say exaggerated)specific gravity, extremely corrosive, gaseous at most normal temperaments, toxic to free ideas, combines readily (almost magnetically) with transition elements such as gold, silver, and platinum, has a long half-life (perpetual, some say), and dang nearly broke the legs of the Periodic Table..;) Becomes increasing imperviously to being combined or alloyed over time, depending on the average makeup of the nucleus..;)

I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit

anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)


pogmahone ( ) posted Sat, 25 September 2004 at 4:16 AM

sorry for not explaining that, bandolin - I thought you were just poking fun at xenic's ROLFLMAO typo :o)


TheBryster ( ) posted Sat, 25 September 2004 at 6:16 PM
Forum Moderator

Pakled:The Heisenberg effect would also be instantly dissappated by the vacuuas extraction of spermatozoa from the principle molecule. Once the Principle Moelcule falls victim to this event the chaos theory takes over causing a huge increase in the destruction of rainforests - the stuff that makes paper - a quantum increase in the emmision of electrons used to transmit binary configurations of electronic communications. This increase can be so vast that it effects sentient lifeform's thought processes causing them to go into disarray to the point where they are forced to remove the Principle Molecule and replace it.

Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader

All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...


pakled ( ) posted Sun, 26 September 2004 at 9:24 AM

oh..thought it was prevalent due to a 'media aware' state, that causes anomalous behaviour..;)

I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit

anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)


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