The night was dark and desolate and on the docks where a street urchin named Jimmy slept the smell of fish covered everything.Above the sky crackeled with thunder and rain stated to poor and in the darkness two set's of feline eyes were trained on Jimmy appraising him the only thing they found intresting about this youth was a gold chain round his neck and the smell of fish,"looks and smells good" said one set of feline eyes to the other "shut up idiot said the other set you jump on his head and i'lle take the chain then prehaps we can sell it to redfoot and buy some food".
Meanwhile after a few crashes of thunder Jimmy had woken up and heard this disscusion from his would be attackers strangely there voices were quite low to the ground and very squeaky trembling with fear jimmy attempted to rise whe he heard spine chilling howl, from out of the darkness came charging two cats at the sight of this jimmy fell back over laughing just as the first cat attempted to jump on jimmy's head unfortunatley for the cat that was sailing through the air there was no where to land and it hit a brick wall knocking itself out the second cat couldn't believe they had failed again they couldn't even rob a child
opening his eyes taking a deep breath the cat decided that prehaps something could be salvaged from this mess,but where was the child left right up and down before he felt that horrible sensation that only kittens know he was picked up by the scruff of his neck and turned to face there target the cat sudenly felt very small as two blue eyes began to look at him " well what do we have here demons from over the border taking cats a rare breed and unless you start talking the species will be a lot rarer

This story was only a little something thati'me toying with and i know that the punctuation is atrocious but it's a skill i'me working on

It's a wonderfull idea, I'd like to read the rest of it sometime... Apart from the spelling and punctuation, which you obviously know about, you need to re-read the story and consider using a word or something other than and in a few places... eg, try- And in this segment-

I love to encourage a new writer. Please take this as constructive criticism, for what it's worth. I like the concept. Seems pretty original and fresh to me. The idea of talking cats and a boy who can hear them is good. Presumably he is somewhat unique in that ability? And cats as muggers was both amusing and interesting. demons from over the border says a lot. I think you need to avoid run on sentences. Wherever you encounter an "and" reread the passage aloud. Then try replacing the "and" with a period and rephrasing the second (or third) part so it stands as a sentence on its own. Not every "and" need go. Try and tighten your prose wherever you can. For example: "Meanwhile after a few crashes of thunder Jimmy had woken up and heard this discussion from his would be attackers" might be changed to something like: Meanwhile the thunder had woken Jimmy up, and he overheard this discussion from his would be attackers. or even: Thunder had woken Jimmy, and he had overheard their roughish plans. You already know you need to work on your punctuation, but spelling is fairly easy to fix with a spell checker (though there are pitfalls there too). If you don't have one, invest in one and spell check your document. Your readers will appreciate it. If you are interested I edited what you posted. I can post it back to you or IM it to you if you'd like. Not that I'm an expert, but it's the type of thing I always find helpful when writing. Keep on writing and develop this story idea. It has real potential. jon

Fratley, I completely agree with jstro. Just two thoughts of my own: - A few weeks ago I read an article by the english novelist and writing teacher Alex Keegan. He gave the following sentence as an example of how not to begin a story: "It was a dark and stormy night." Its bad because it has been done so often. This beginning has become cliched. I couldnt help but remember this when reading your first sentence about the dark and desolate night. Why dont you start with a detail that makes your story distinctive: the smell of fish. The night may still be dark and desolate, just a sentence or two later. - Unless you are a genius, every first draft is bad. We all have to rewrite, revise, polish. First get rid of typos, then check the logic, read it aloud to test the rhythm, shorten and condense where possible or fill gaps, question your choice of words and so on, until you are satisfied with the result. Your punctuation is atrocious? Well, then correct it. Take your time. My point is: You have to invest time and effort in your creation because, unless you are a genius, there is no such thing as divine inspiration. It is wrong to believe that only the spontaneous work is any good. No, more often than not a photographer has to take hundreds of photos to get one great shot; a painter might have to paint layer upon layer until the painting looks spontaneous. Dont be discouraged. On the contrary: I enjoy the process of revising a lot more than the initial writing. For me, the hard work is done and then comes the fun. Turning something lame into something good is definitely fun. Try it.