hi guys. i've been crying. i decide to start new project to help me deal/cope with broken elbow. why i cry? why this so hard for me? i verrrrry active girl. hyper. not used to slow down. i frustrated. hard to do things. and everything hurts me. i saw ortho doc today. i have 2 weeks to be in fiberglass cast. for at LEAST 6 weeks after that, i cant lift more than 1 pound with left arm. he said i break radial head in elbow so means i need much rehab to get back full range of motion of arm. he says will be painful & long haul. seems like eternity. i work hard. will make arm work like b-4. i sad & weepy b-cuz i hurting alot. frustrated a lot. swelling not go down. hannd ice cold. bone in wrist connected to elbow. i must do exercises with hand/wrist. hurts. i can't wear coat. no go outside. can't drive. cant shower by self. i work light duty at drs. office full-time next 2 weeks. cant work at restaurant. so now i work 1st shift. kemal works 2nd shift. we won't have same days off. i miss him already. i sit home alone, sad, lonely for kemal, frustrated, hurting. ok. i need to look on bright side. i know, i know. i need to work thru feelings. jan-carel reminds me this is an adventure in living. ok. it;s true. i don't like this adventure though. i wanna climb mountains, go skiing, photo shoots...not this crap! i must work thru feelings...express self. get it out. challenge...only indoor photos at night with horrible light. dark when i go to work. dark when i get home. just little light. challenge. 1 hand only. must use tripod. move slow. tonight i make self portrait. wed. with kemal;s supervision i will try to capture fire/flame. i try some nightshots/night framing. new adventures. new adventure to go to toilet. LOL. sorry for novel here. i got so depressed tonight, now i have project. take care of self best i can. new challenges. when i want scream, i take pic. here's me. tell me honestly. i want feedback. i wanted to show my feelings. don't be scared i cry if u say this image crappy. just tell. i want to make photo show strong feelings. thanks for reading novel and replying. i embarrassed to write this. but i real. it's me. i don't wanna be sad anymore. new series might help. i need many hugs. thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sheila

Oh hugs well you can do it, just takes some time to heal. I know how bad it hurts. When I had my broke arm my hand swelled up so bad they cut the cast off,then sent me across town to get a splint. Ridding in heavy traffic, on bumpy roads with a shattered humerus is not very humorous,lol. I can laugh now,but I was in so much pain, and hten they had to size the splint and that was no fun at all. It got tot he point the pain went away before my surgery,and I could move the broken part around and gross people out,lol. As for one handed shotting you can do that as well, just takes some practice.

ok, I won't mention the possibilities of this being a spiritualy growing exercise, but I will mention the possibilities all around you indoors with a single light to illuminate all kinds of objects in your home. Being a tabletop photographer takes some practice in learning how to slow down and "see" the subtle lighting tones and shadows the object casts. Using a tripod frees up your one hand to move objects around in a pleasing setting...learn to create environments from simple things, and use abstract shapes and macro setting on that incredible cam of yours! Use that window you are standing in front of as a main light source whenever you can, and use a white card in various sizes to reflect/bounce light back into the shadows to soften them. Oh yea, and also have fun!!

good advice dave! i reading Adventures in Living by Dr. Paul Tournier. check it out. it IS spiritual growing exercise. i try suggestions & try to use my Slow time to learn...and read. thank u!! william...LOL u funny. "a shattered humerus is not very humorous" thankx for understanding & smiles!!

Attached Link: http://www.renderosity.com/viewed.ez?galleryid=428166&Start=37&Artist=TomDart&ByArtist=Yes

Oh my! Go around and look for dusty places or odd spots..the attached link is the top of the bookshelf in this "office/ironing" room! Stuff is there to expand and encourage. Spirtually, you will heal. I have some stuff that will only get worse "it is to live with" so be blessed with a bone that will be something like new again! I suspect you will find a hug here and there... ((((((((((((Sheila!))))))))))))) like this one, well meant. That should help for at least a minute. : ) Go for it gal..you are too good not to. God Bless. TomD'Art.

thanks tom!! i stop tears. i emotional cuz uncle worse. annurism, aortic tear, stroke, now kidneys failing. he could pull thru. cant stabilize him though. i lucky. fortunate. my pains/worries nothing compared to so many. just been emotional week. yes u right. i blessed. bone will heal. i hope your 'live with it ' stuff u deasl with that gets worse...well i hope it won't be awful/horrible. i sorry. i say prayers. thanks tom/william for hugs!!! peace & joy, sheila

i know how you feel, got hit by a car back in college & shattered my ankle & broke my fibia in 3... but thankfully that's all the car got... & all has since healed, just don't make me run!! ...enjoy your time off, read some good books, or books on tape, so much to learn & absorb from the comfort of your own home... the time may seem to drag but you'll be good as new in no time... not trying to make light of your pain or the stress of having your uncle so sick, just a wee smile will do & i can't see it through your tears in the dark! hugzzz :]

Message edited on: 01/18/2005 03:50

PLEASE make light of my pain!!!!!! laugh at me. make fun. tease. helps!!!!!!!! i WISH i off work in some ways. but i would go NUTS in house all day!!! i work 40 hr. wk at dr. office. my choice. hard. i need push self. hard to work. but i want. after cast comes off in 2 weeks, i work both jobs. i think they let me be hostess at restaurant. i like work more than disability. u hurt self bad girl. how u hit by car? i not cry now. i go get dressed for work now. style my hair. u don't wanna see! huggggggzzzz

Ha ha.....get back to that bloody Kitchen....where is My Breakfast...where is My Sago & Semolina Pudding?

Lately I thought to take revanche of a colleague who teased me tapping on my back. She's a receptionist and working most of the day behind her counter. So I crawled under her counter where she couldn't see me, jumped up with arms raised and cried 'surprise!' Those moments I should really have had a cam to shoot that expression on her face! scrolling back as fast as possible to look to your photo again Yes, I did see a smile in your silhouette! I did it, I did it, I did it! jumps triumphantically around :) You're a tough girl and you will make it. It takes some time but January 18th, 2006, you will look back to this burdened time with a smile. We're not forgetting you, and your uncle!!! hugggzzzzzmore hugggzzzzz

HC i dunno those puddings. dinner tonight is spinich with oranges, pecans, onion & tomato. u sailor man/ spinich make u strong for klingon attack. JC u silly. wish u had cam!!that good one! huggggggggzzzzz

stak a pair of eyes to it and could be good for the monthly challange

lol. u funny pascale! but even with eyes it's no dream....just hard, cold reality here!!!!