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Subject: Monday chuckle


tvernuccio ( ) posted Sun, 06 March 2005 at 11:43 PM · edited Fri, 08 November 2024 at 3:54 PM

I can't say I'm Southern born & bred since I'm originally from San Francisco, but my dad's side of the family have lived in the hills of Kentucky their whole lives. My parents live in Ky. also...about 5 miles from the Tennessee border. Maybe "all ya'all" will enjoy!!! :) hope you have a "not-so-manic" monday!!!!! :) Subject: Southern Born & Bred > > > > > >If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving > to > > >the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you > adapt > > >to the difference in lifestyles: > > > > > >The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses > > > > > >The North has dating services, The South has family reunions. > > > > > >The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails. > > > > > >The North has double last names, The South has double first names. > > > > > >The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races. > > > > > >The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits. > > > > > >The North has green salads, The South has collard greens > > > > > >The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads. > > > > > >The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.. > > > > > >In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men > in > > >a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. > > >Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they > live > > >for. > > > > > >Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same > store....do > > >not buy food at this store. > > > > > >Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" > is > > >plural possessive. > > > > > >Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" > > > > > >Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to > > >use it. > > > > > >Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't > > >understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a > > >transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or > > >"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect > this > > >way. All of them are in denial about it. > > > > > >The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. > > > > > >Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. > > > > > >If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should > stay > > >out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'l ever say. > > > > > >If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest > > >accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery > > >store. > > >It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go > > >there. > > > > > >Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, > they > > >are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. > > > > > >In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn > is > > >to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. > > > > > >AND REMEMBER: > > > > > >If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will > accept > > >them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we > > >wouldn't call 'em biscuits. > > > > > >Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and > I > > >reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.


tvernuccio ( ) posted Sun, 06 March 2005 at 11:56 PM

file_196418.jpg

i posted this image in my old gallery. you can get bait here too!!! LOL! dunno if there are many places like this in the north or not, but i think they're fairly common in the south. this place has been around forever where my parents live!!! if ya need worms to go fishin, some lunch for your trip, and somethin to repair your boat, well...they got ya covered!


DJB ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 12:14 AM

He He...maybe y'all know this,but if you have that whole thing pasted in notepad...click on Edit,then Replace.Type in the > character where is says "Find what" and leave nothing in the lower box"Replace with". Voila all of them disappear and it is easier to read.

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions."



cynlee ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 12:21 AM

wish i had known all this before i moved down... :] no, actually i knew this from visiting my grandma down here when i was a young'un LOL figured i could handle it i remember that shot!... reckoned we'd get along


cynlee ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 12:37 AM

hey!! great trick doug, thanks! :] Happy Monday Yaaaaaaaaaaaa'll


tvernuccio ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 1:39 AM

don't know much about them thar computer tricks, doug!! if we had more time to edit our dang posts, then i would go in and do the fix 'er up thing; however, since administrators have not addressed my concern... anyway, thanks for tip, doug! cindy...you're so silly!!!! but you adjusted to southern life just fine, didn't ya!!!! didn't ya???? LOL!


cynlee ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 1:43 AM

well i did wonder when lima beans became butter beans down here, they don't like the green ones but the big fat white ones :P


Michelle A. ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 6:37 AM

LOL! Not sure I'd adapt too good.... those grits don't set on my stomach well......

I am, therefore I create.......
--- michelleamarante.com


jacoggins ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 6:50 AM

ahem....


Tedz ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 10:22 AM

All sounds Foreign to Me :]


jimry ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 12:28 PM

Sheila...lovely read :)..as always, I remember that pic :) and Doug...your a STAR for the tip.


cynlee ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 1:07 PM

Attached Link: http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html

& just in case you're still not sure what you are if you live in the US... (59% (Dixie) Barely into the Dixie category, that's what happens when you mix a Yankee Chick & a Dixie Rooster)


ReBorneUK ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 2:12 PM

Cheers, Shee, gave me a laff! (",)


tvernuccio ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 3:15 PM

cindy!!!!!! I guess that makes you a Chickster!!! LOL! what a fun quiz!!! i was kinda surprised at my score: 66% (Dixie). A definitive Southern score! I figured i'd be more at 50% since i'm from California & grew up most my life in Indiana. I guess now i'm "officially" a southern gal!


ReBorneUK ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 3:18 PM

Blumming Heck! I got 68% (Dixie) also a definitive Southern score..... Not bad for a Geordie from a long line of Geordie's who looks with scorn on Southern Softies over here ;-) (",)


Michelle A. ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 8:17 PM

35% (Yankee). A definitive Yankee. Cool! Considering I was born, raised and lived my whole life in Rhode Island..... I should be....

I am, therefore I create.......
--- michelleamarante.com


tibet2004uk ( ) posted Mon, 07 March 2005 at 10:13 PM

Haha!! A very interesting thread even though I don't bloody understand half of what u guys are talking about! O_o Fascinating how different cultures can become different languages! Mmmmh! And yes, I do remember that pic too Sheila!! ;)


jacoggins ( ) posted Tue, 08 March 2005 at 10:32 AM

84% Dixie...


tvernuccio ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 12:20 AM

michelle, you're the only Yank here! Pascale...don't worry...most people in the northern part of the US have NO idea about all this southern slang and southern talk. jack...aren't you from California???? and Mike...you been watchin' a lot of Green Acres???? :)


ReBorneUK ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 9:04 AM

Green Acres? I presume that's some Southern Soap or something, but the answers no. Although I did see a few episodes of Dallas as a young'un. And the Fall Guy. Was he from the South? And Knight Rider. And Streethawk. And Airwolf. And the Man from Atlantis. And Hart to Hart. And Doctor Who. And Blue Peter. And Tiswas. And Debbie Does Dallas. (",)


TwoDigital ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 10:46 AM

42% "Barely yankee". Hey, 42% - what an awesome number. :)

 


Michelle A. ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 12:01 PM

Green Acres? Think Zsa Zsa Gabor when she was really young wearing high heels and silk nighites on a farm..... that was the basic premise of the show. The displaced, wealthy city chick. Debbie Does Dallas.... now I'm sure that one made a lasting impression on you during your formative years..... heheheh

I am, therefore I create.......
--- michelleamarante.com


cynlee ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 12:24 PM

lol!!! sometimes I feel like Zsa Zsa in Green Acres... :] can't quite shake the city outta me... but now when I go back to visit I feel like a tourist, everything has gotten so modernized!


ReBorneUK ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 12:36 PM

Yeah, we even have Horseless Carriages now, Cyn. And they even go over 30mph!!! Can you imagine?!? The great thing is, even in major cities you no longer need a man walking in front with a red flag. Oh, granted, it frightens other horses and you sometimes run over the street urchins clearing up the horse-s**t, but the time you save is incredible! And of course, the status........ oh my, I feel quite faint at the very thought! (",)


cynlee ( ) posted Wed, 09 March 2005 at 12:56 PM · edited Wed, 09 March 2005 at 12:58 PM

at least in the country we can go really fast!! no traffic!
but watch out for the critters that seem to want to run out in front of the truck... opps! :/ (left out a word, fingers can't keep up)

Message edited on: 03/09/2005 12:58


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