The Flash Fortune Lotto Scam - the link will take you to an exact copy of what I got in the email today: http://rjohara.net/lottery-scams/2005-03-27-flash-fortune-lotto.html There are some pretty interesting scams out there and I usually just ignore and delete. But I got a tickle up my bum today and thought I'd try responding just for fun. Below is what I sent in reply to this particular party. In no way do I mean ANYTHING offensive to anyone here who may read this: To MR. Edward Bongo and Mr. Anderson Simon, I am sorry to inform you that I will be unable to accept your generous cash lotto prize of $2,950,000.00. I have a condition called 'chrometophobia', which is the fear of money. I have had this terrible condition for many years and because of this, I have been unable to handle even my own money. I give it away at every chance I get and because of this, I am penniless, but much happier. Were I to accept your prize money, I would begin to experience symptoms of my condition. These symptoms can be quite embarrassing as well as dangerous. Once in a bank, when I was younger and just starting to get my condition, I saw the $2000.00 cash withdrawal I had just made and began urinating all over the bank floor. Just the sight of the paper bills left me unable to control my bodily functions! Some years later, in another bank, I smelled the cash I was withdrawing and started ripping and tearing at my clothes until they fell off my body in a heap. Standing there completely naked, I wondered what was wrong with me! People were staring [and some were even smiling], and again, I wet the floor. (My psychiatrist told me this was because I was subconsciously trying to remove the smell of the paper cash from my clothing and that I was lucky that I hadn't tried to rip out my hair too!) The worst came a few years ago. My phobia had grown so strong that even the mere mention of money would turn me into a mad-woman! A man came up to me to ask for spare change and I began to act like a werewolf and tore off all my clothing and tried to rip and claw at strangers walking by, all the time drooling and foaming at the mouth! I ran into traffic, determined to tear apart the world, when I was hit by a car. My legs had to be amputated as well as one of my arms. I also lost all my fingers on the hand that was thankfully spared from amputation. Lastly, much of intestines were spilled out onto the roadway were they were squished by oncoming cars. The doctors, miracle workers that they are, were able to piece them back together through the modern miracle of medicine and a few left-over cow parts. As I type this with my thumb, which is all I have left now, I am trembling because of talking about money. Thankfully, I can no longer hurt others or myself as I have no limbs left with which to do any physical harm. Plus, I am strapped in a straight-jacket, except for my one arm, which the facility allows me the use of. The room I spend my days in now has lovely white soft padded walls and a tiny window where I can enjoy listening to the birds outside and see a small fragment of sunshine. The bars do not even inhibit my view at all! The facility has installed a keyboard on my table, which is how I am able to write to you now. In closing, I just want to thank you for making me a cash-prize winner of your fabulous lottery, but as you can understand, I must turn it down. Please, if you can, could you donate my prize to a worthy charity? My first choice would be the NFCCA, [The National Foundation for Cheek-Chewers Anonymous], but would also be just as happy if you could donate it to TIFOTI, [The International Foundation for One-Thumbed Individuals]. You're help in this would be greatly appreciated as both these charitable causes are near and dear to my heart. Now, I must close so I can call someone on the staff. I'm afraid that I have urinated all over the floor again and need some assistance cleaning it up. Thank you for you time and kind regards, Victoria Nogutsatall .................................... Hope someone gets a laugh or two from this - I know I did...but then again, I only got 3 hours of sleep last night...

That is hilarious!!!!!!

omg! LOL I totally lost it at the "left over cow parts", LOL

omg....wiping pepsi from monitor.....that was too funny....needed that laugh. I am in England and an American friend got an official looking letter from the actual british national lottery ......she asked me if it was real.....thing was i knew it wasnt real because 2 days before i had had a letter saying I had won an obscene amount of money from the american lottery with the exact same numbers....i mean what a coincidence! LOL...you should post that to a hoax site so maybe other people could use it and then these scammers may cease as people would realise it is a scam. Thanks for the laughs.....that was awesome

gawd, this is TOO funny! I laffed so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks and I could hardly read the next line...thankyou so much for this, you are very witty! still wiping the tears of laughter

OMG! That's bloody brilliant! Must save this message for my friends to read -- if that's okay with you. LMAO!!! (Thank the Goddess I'd already finished my Pepsi, last thing I need's a spattered monitor and a shorted-out keyboard. ;-)

To Byrdie: Yea...by all means...spread the word!!! Woooppeeee! I like only getting 3 hours of sleep...I'm telling you...I get so darned strange with no sleep...but I get kinda of funny too. I could never have written this on 8 hours sleep...trust me!

Excellent, particularly like the "have to wear a straight jacket" even though you only have one hand which is free....lol (makes you wonder what else on your body you could harm yourself with).... Thanx for sharing, haven't had a laugh like that in a long time.

Wonderfully done and absolutely hilarious!! :)

Message edited on: 06/01/2005 23:48

oh this is great! let us know if anyone ever responds...hehe

Yeah, these jerks are all over the place. Just found another Nigerian Oil Scam "offer" in my mailbox. ::hexes dunderhead spammers:: I'm really tempted to send him/her/whatever a reply like that one.

Attached Link: http://www.fraudwatchinternational.com/internet/lottery.shtml

It's amazing how many different kinds of scams are out there. It's even more amazing how many people over look the 'If it sounds too good to be true...' mantra. I know that sometimes we want to think that lady-luck has decided to shine her grace on us, but we also have to keep reminding ourselves that scammers are always on the prowl and that every email can be a potential scam. In fact, if we really did win a lottery, these are the things to keep in mind: 1) A true winner would not be notified by email only. There are a few, [very few], exceptions to this rule, but if you didn't sign up for an contest/lottery, it's a scam. 2) The return email address for the company claiming they have your winnings would not be using an AOL, Yahoo or other free email account. Nor would they likely be in a foreign country from wherever it is that you live. 3) It's so easy to look these things up. A quick search using the subject line or text from the body of the suspected email on Yahoo or Google will bring up lots of sites that will provide information about the scam. Let's all keep ourselves protected and remember that the scammers love to rope us in based on our greed!! Best to you all...