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Subject: July Poetry Challenge


jstro ( ) posted Tue, 04 July 2006 at 9:27 AM · edited Sat, 05 October 2024 at 7:18 AM

Attached Link: Cinquain

OK, here's the gauntlet. Write a poem in the form of a cinquain. What is a cinquain, you ask. They are explained [here](http://www.promotega.org/msc00010/cinquain.htm).

Here's my first shot at it:

Freedom.
Open road.
Driving cross county,
In awe of nature.
Spontaneous turn.

I'm hoping to revive the old monthly poetry challenge here. Very informal, but a lot of fun.
~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


jstro ( ) posted Sun, 09 July 2006 at 11:41 AM

Here's another:

Garden,
Labor's love.
Toiling under sun.
Pride in their glory,
Multifarious blooms.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


hanevi ( ) posted Mon, 10 July 2006 at 1:38 AM · edited Mon, 10 July 2006 at 1:39 AM

                  Monsoon,
             Brooding skies,
Thunderhead gathering strength,
    The parched earth longing,
                Life returns.

Ok, Jon. Here's mine. It's an interesting write, and I hope it's come out all right.

Does the last line always have two words?

Hanevi


Cyba_Storm ( ) posted Mon, 10 July 2006 at 3:07 AM

I have been slowly working my way through the forums, and today I arrived here. Just in time for this challenge. I don't usually write poetry, but I thought I would have a go anyway.

Heaven

Virtues reward.

Angels sing praise.

Peaceful, loving, and welcoming.

Eternal home.

 They seem simple, but seriously excersise the brain.


jstro ( ) posted Mon, 10 July 2006 at 7:41 PM

Glad to see someone's picking up the gauntlet. Way to go Hanevi and Cyba_Storm. Both of these conjure very vivid images.

As to the proper form, well I guess I went off half cocked. Nothing new there. I looked up cinquain on Wikipedia and got a little more detailed explanation. Seems it's syllables, not words that make a true cinquain – sort of like morae in haiku.

From Wikipedia, “...a short, unrhymed poem of twenty-two syllables, five lines of 2, 4, 6, 8, 2 syllables respectively.” Neither of even come close to those criteria. I'll have to give it another go. So for this challenge, do it either way – words or syllables, but yes, it seems the last line should be two (of whichever).

Here's another try, this time using syllables of 2-4-6-8-2.

Spirits.

Thoughts of those gone

Haunt me by day and night.

I beg you, just leave me alone.

Bourbon.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


hanevi ( ) posted Tue, 11 July 2006 at 1:42 AM · edited Tue, 11 July 2006 at 1:43 AM

Ah... i did think it was rather simple. There had to be a catch. :) Your new one is funny Jon, and in the same vein, may I submit a modification with a pun I couldn't resist- :)

**                       Monsoon
            Brooding, grey skies,
    Thunderheads gather strength,
The earth longing with parched intent,
                    Wet dreams.**

                             :D


midrael ( ) posted Tue, 11 July 2006 at 10:33 AM

Alrighty, here's my go at one =)

Twilight
Dying sunlight
Another day passes
Giving way to birth of the new
Rebirth

Very kewl challenge jstro =)

David L.


hanevi ( ) posted Thu, 13 July 2006 at 6:22 AM

That was really nice David! Very nice imagery and feel, and a philosophical tilt to it as you get to the end. :)

Hanevi.


midrael ( ) posted Thu, 13 July 2006 at 8:45 AM

Thanks! I hadn't been able to really contribute much to the challenges in prior months because of my position as coordinator. I never really felt right about that, and I suppose it's exacerbated by being moderator now! Since the challenges have become a bit more informal though and placed in the forums, I didn't see too much harm in it. =)

David L.


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Thu, 13 July 2006 at 8:54 AM

I'm a stranger to this gallery, but I'm sure there's a frustrated writer screaming somewhere inside, "Let me Out". Anyway, here's my effort.

Bad luck

Lost jigsaw piece

Toast lands butter-side down

This Schadenfreudic lawmaker

Murphy

John.


hanevi ( ) posted Fri, 14 July 2006 at 4:21 AM

Hi John,

That was an amazing Cinquain! Welcome to the forum!

Regards,

Hanevi.


Cyba_Storm ( ) posted Fri, 14 July 2006 at 6:05 AM

Take two.

I decides to stay with my original idea, and try and get it to fit both definitions. Talk about give a person a headache. Anyway here is the new improved version.

Heaven,

Virtues reward,

Angels praise Jehovah,

Peaceful, loving, and welcoming,

God’s home.  

 

 


jstro ( ) posted Fri, 14 July 2006 at 2:19 PM

Now that's picking up the gauntlet! Very good, C_S.

It good to see new folks here, and Moderators too (gasp!). Nice job from all. I've enjoyed each one.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Sat, 15 July 2006 at 5:51 AM · edited Sat, 15 July 2006 at 5:52 AM

I'm lucky enough to live in a house overlooking the sea (the Firth of Clyde, actually). In the summer the gannets appear, sometimes as many as fifty or sixty circling above a shoal of fish; and then the fun begins:

 

Showtime

Spearlike killers

Stuka-diving thrillers

In rapid fire, frenzied plunging

Gannets

** **

It's an awesome sight to behold their fishing spree, when they will plunge like harpoons from forty or fifty feet, sometimes eight or ten diving in half as many seconds.

 

John.


icrazycarl ( ) posted Mon, 17 July 2006 at 2:31 AM

I guess i can give it a shot, I've never wrint this type of poem before,. but here goes.
(Yes i know its kind of morbid)

My blood
Spilling it out
My life seeping away
watering the flowers around me
I wish

Well if you liked it you could find a bit more on my website Here


deadgirl1 ( ) posted Mon, 17 July 2006 at 6:30 PM

I am not real sure about the rules for the fifth line. I see one word in some of them and two words in others. Does it matter how many words are used in the fifth line?


jstro ( ) posted Wed, 19 July 2006 at 7:45 AM

deadgirl1 - the fith line should have two syllables. It can be one or two words.

icrazycarl - your're right, it's a bit morbid, but fits the form well.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


deadgirl1 ( ) posted Wed, 19 July 2006 at 10:22 AM

Okay, thank you. Here goes, then!

Internet
Global, powerful
Bringing people together
Alluring, yet subtly dangerous
Network


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Thu, 27 July 2006 at 3:44 AM

Dabbing

Smearing, smudging

Slings and arrows of life

Flattering brush strokes on canvas

Portraits

 

  • With a nod to the bard.*


deadgirl1 ( ) posted Thu, 27 July 2006 at 10:56 AM

Great stuff, but don't forget that the fourth line is supposed to have four words.


deadgirl1 ( ) posted Thu, 27 July 2006 at 11:18 AM

Wow, I didn't know that there was a time limit to editing one's post, and that you had to be a moderator to do it past the time limit! Never noticed that before on a forum.

Anyway, how do you pronounce the word "cinquain"? Is it "sin" or "chin"?

Like in Spanish, "cinco" has an "S" sound, but in Italian, the word for the number five has a "CH" sound, so just wondering.


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Fri, 28 July 2006 at 11:47 AM

As jstro pointed out in the fifth post of this thread a cinquain is  “...a short, unrhymed poem of twenty-two syllables, five lines of 2, 4, 6, 8, 2 syllables respectively.” ( check above deadgirl1 to confirm this). If you look it up at the Wikipedia site you will find there are several forms, but the syllable form seems to have been adopted here. From the dictionary I found that the word is pronounced; "sing kayn".


deadgirl1 ( ) posted Sat, 29 July 2006 at 1:04 PM

Okay, I was just going by the original link, which I had followed and then copied and pasted in Word for future reference. I see I need to re-adjust that. Thanks. I am not sure why I didn't see that fifth post. (?)

deadgirl1 tries to rub the crypt dust outta her eyes*


jstro ( ) posted Sat, 29 July 2006 at 11:37 PM

Faithful.
Alert, brown eyes,
Always ready to play.
He will defend me to the death.
Hound dog.


Good effort by all. And as they say, rules are made to be broken. ;-)

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


newleaf ( ) posted Mon, 31 July 2006 at 7:04 AM

Never ever done this before but here goes

 

Water

Wet clear

Falling running pooling

Cool refreshing soft sweet

Life giving

Pat


newleaf ( ) posted Mon, 31 July 2006 at 7:57 AM

Agh! forgot the syllables and can't edit sorry folks

forget I ever tried :-(


jstro ( ) posted Mon, 31 July 2006 at 2:10 PM

Don't sweat it, newleaf. I'm glad you tried, and hope you'll give it another shot. It's always good to see new folks taking up the challenge.

I like this one, by the way, whether or not it technically fits the form.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


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