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Subject: Autumn Haiku Challenge


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Drekinn ( ) posted Sun, 03 September 2006 at 2:03 AM · edited Sat, 23 November 2024 at 11:59 PM

Green, to amber, red;
Seasonal traffic halted;
Fall takes right of way.

--

With the changing of the seasons comes the changing of the haiku challenge. Thought I'd start the ball rolling this time round.
PS. If anyone's interested I've again been busy penning a poem in ode to my father on this special day, which you can view here.

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Sun, 03 September 2006 at 7:43 AM

Way to go Drekinn

Goosepimples on sun-tanned arms;

Roll your sleeves down now.

John


hanevi ( ) posted Thu, 07 September 2006 at 6:29 AM

:D

Hey this is GOOD!!

Way to go, Drekinn. It's good to see the torchbearers for the Haiku brigade!

now comes Fall,
clothing humble leaves
with glory


heartnsoul ( ) posted Sat, 09 September 2006 at 1:03 PM

Ah......these are beautiful.  Thoughts race in my head. I must harness them for now as the story challenge begs priority! LOL! "Ha,ha!" says the right side of my brain to my left....."As those thoughts drip out we shall write them down. A word here, a thought there! You'll see, we shall have a Haiku before you know it!  I shall teach you the meaning of multitasking!" The left side of the brain just laughs a hearty laugh as the eyes roll upward. ..........okay....folks sorry....too much coffee!
Hope all are having a great weekend!


hanevi ( ) posted Mon, 11 September 2006 at 12:54 AM

Ok, I can't resist another one- :)

glory shot,
clouds caress heaven's
autumn smile


jstro ( ) posted Mon, 11 September 2006 at 2:16 PM

Delicate.
Leaves on autumn breeze.
Butterflies.


We're a bit early for autumn, but who cares? We are quickly approaching my favorite time of year.
~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


Drekinn ( ) posted Sun, 17 September 2006 at 6:39 AM · edited Sun, 17 September 2006 at 6:41 AM

Butterflies lay dead:
Crispy charcoal wafer thins,
Cloaked by fallen leaves.

--

Perhaps a slight exaggeration of the past summer's heated fury. 😉

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


heartnsoul ( ) posted Sun, 17 September 2006 at 10:49 AM

I"ve only written one other haiku,  I know I shouldn't, but I find them so intimidating. I'm enjoying all of the above, they are truly inspiring. So here I go with mine.

Her Finest Regalia

Calico jewels hemmed
Twirling with sightest breeze
Mother Nature's dress


jstro ( ) posted Sun, 17 September 2006 at 11:13 AM

Temptation.

Warm, home made cookies,

On cool nights.


I'm on a roll here, hitting two challenges at once. The Temptation Challenge and the Autumn Haiku Challenge, in this case. I've enjoyed all of these. Don't be intimidated, heartnsoul. You should do more.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


Margana ( ) posted Wed, 20 September 2006 at 1:24 AM

Ummm...Aren't we supposed to use the last word of the last haiku?

I guess I'll use the last word of the last entry... by jstro...which is wonderful,btw...

Nights... like icy silk
Whisper with moist minty breath
Winter on the wind.

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


Drekinn ( ) posted Wed, 20 September 2006 at 5:46 AM

Wind: bearer of news;
Nature's airy voice forewarns:
'Nearing cold and gloom.'

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


jstro ( ) posted Wed, 20 September 2006 at 5:18 PM · edited Wed, 20 September 2006 at 5:27 PM

Gloom be gone.

Fall is upon us.

Dance in leaves.


Sorry. That was not said in the opening post, so I thought it was for just any haiku dealing with autumn. Should have remembered from the previous ones. I'm back on track now.

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


heartnsoul ( ) posted Wed, 20 September 2006 at 8:55 PM

I'm confused, I didn't read until now that we are taking the last letter making it the first of the next.  Wouldn't that be a form of Renga? While not in the traditional sense but you are in effect answering and continuing the previous work. Also, just out of curiosity, is free form haiku okay? As I see 3-53 rather than 5-7-5. I enjoy the challenge, just want to be clear on the guidelines. I don't want to break the flow..Thanks......


Margana ( ) posted Thu, 21 September 2006 at 8:53 AM

I was just going by the guidelines of the spring and summer haiku threads...You're right.Something should have been stated at the beginning of this thread.

As to the number of syllables,it's been 3-5-3 or 5-7-5.There are other types of haiku,I know,but no one seems to have done one of those, so I don't know if they're allowed or not.

I've never heard of Renga...What is it?

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


heartnsoul ( ) posted Thu, 21 September 2006 at 10:53 AM

This is my first time in this forum and I had not gone back into the other threads. It's okay though, I just want to follow what is being done.  As my first would tecnically be Senryu, haiku form using 5-7-5 but on human existance rather than nature. My ultimate first being in high school which I failed miserably at, infact if I remember correctly my english teacher gave me a C- I was always intimidated by them. At any rate, age renewed interest.....
The best way for me to describe Renga  is to give an excerpt of the definintion from my collection of Poetry Forms and Terminoly (if you type in this it will lead you to the site) this particular one I find most useful.

"In classical RENGA, 3-line and 2-line verses are alternated, beginning with a 3-line verse (a hokku, usually approximating 5-7-5 syllables) resembling haiku and indicating a season. A second poet composes the following verse (2 lines approximating 7-7), linking it by one of several methods (not too obviously, please) with the first. The next verse (of 3 lines), composed by the first poet (in a 2-person renga) or by another (in renga written by more than 2 poets), links with the second but not with the first.=renga,20 line verse
Traditionally, each verse employs a season word, most especially the ones requiring reference to autumn, moon, flower, etc. Season words are words usually associated with one season more than another (blossom = spring; snow = winter; baseball = summer, harvest = autumn, etc.) Verses do not refer to moon or flower except when they are specifically called for.

Beginning capitals and ending punctuation are usually avoided. These patterns continue throughout the renga, each verse linking somehow with the verse preceding it, but with no others. Each verse may launch us in a new direction, providing the next poet with a new puzzle to solve. Once a significant noun, verb, adjective or adverb occurs, it is usually not used in another verse (tho a witty switch of meaning or context might be acceptable in adjacent links). This technique keeps a renga continually twisting and turning, challenging both poet and reader.

The result is a constantly changing mosaic which discourages development of a logical, sequential narrative. The pleasures derived from continual surprise, striking imagery and delightfully sudden (and often witty) insights can be captivating. That is one of the chief delights of renga."

While we are not using traditional...we are in effect using Renga by taking the last word and incorporating it into the next....which is an answer of to the prior verse.

I scoured my site looking for haiku using a 3-5-3 rule, but couldn't find one. I mostly did this because I thought that there was something that I had missed,  which is fine because rules are meant to be broken. An exercise for the brain and spirit. But still, there should be a continual flow....one verse traditional...next. free....something on that vein. Even in Asian form free verse follows a continuity. I hope this helps.

~Michelle~


Margana ( ) posted Thu, 21 September 2006 at 4:00 PM

Thank you for the explanation, Michelle.Renga sounds wonderful...and quite challenging!

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Fri, 22 September 2006 at 7:16 AM

Leaves fall to the ground

Carelessly crunched underfoot;

Watch how you go, man.

John


jstro ( ) posted Fri, 22 September 2006 at 11:24 AM

Man, woman;

Entwined as they go.

Autumn stroll.


Another 3-5-3. We've had a mix of both in the other challenges so I think it's OK to do either form (3-5-3 or 5-7-5). 

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


Drekinn ( ) posted Sun, 24 September 2006 at 7:14 AM · edited Sun, 24 September 2006 at 7:15 AM

Stroll through windswept parks:
Crunch upon golden carpet,
Swirling at your feet.

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


heartnsoul ( ) posted Sun, 24 September 2006 at 9:34 AM

ah......stroll was a hard one.....started one ....but couldn't come up with a good finish...this is just lovely........now........feet? .....FEET?..........ugh! back to the drawing board.......feet huh.....hmmm....feet,feet...........feet........


hanevi ( ) posted Tue, 26 September 2006 at 5:12 AM

feet sans shoes

caress autumn soil

cool and dry

The 3-5-3 is really an American Haiku form which is intentionally crafted to address the change in feel when one reads a 5-7-5 one in English. Japanese and English are quite different in their phonetics and feeling, so the 3-5-3 ones in English come closer to the terse feel of the 5-7-5 Japanese ones. Do correct me if I'm wrong someone. :)  And there is freedom for poetic license because I've read Haiku by Zen masters like Basho, Issa and Chiyojo which have an added syllable in one of the lines to preserve the poetry of the words.

Thanks for your explanatino of Renga. I was curious too, about what it was. :)

 

 


Margana ( ) posted Thu, 28 September 2006 at 3:06 AM · edited Thu, 28 September 2006 at 3:07 AM

Dry,brittle leaves crunch
Sounds of Fall beneath my feet
Echoes of what was.

Sorry about my last line.I was hard-pressed to find a good one.If someone has a better alternative,I'd love to know about it.

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


WeeLaddie ( ) posted Thu, 28 September 2006 at 6:59 AM

No worries (as the Ausies say), last line is good, Marlene (Echoes naturally follows the sounds of crunching leaves, that were once soft and moist with life).

 

Was that an angel

Parachuting from on high?

No, just a dead leaf.

 

I think maybe “leaf” could be difficult (not as easy as leaves)

 

John


Drekinn ( ) posted Sun, 01 October 2006 at 2:27 AM · edited Sun, 01 October 2006 at 2:31 AM

Leaf falls on my head:
A single lonely teardrop,
Shed by weeping trees.

--

Oh my, I feel suddenly moved to tears myself. :crying:

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


Margana ( ) posted Tue, 03 October 2006 at 2:50 AM

Trees sigh and whisper
Forget not my golden days
I will be again.

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


Drekinn ( ) posted Fri, 06 October 2006 at 7:36 PM

(Diary of a tree):

Again I blushed red;
Evergreens pointed and jeered:
My branches, exposed.

--

How embarrassing. :blushing:

PS. Just to let you all know that voting has now commenced for the Story Pix Challenge (for those interested in horror/comedy, a link to my own story can be found here).

(end plug)

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


Margana ( ) posted Sat, 07 October 2006 at 12:59 AM

The tree diary continues...


Exposed and alone
A barren shell shorn of life
Empty nest syndrome.


I'm sorry.Syndrome will be near impossible to work with,but I just couldn't help myself. (LOL)

If you can't use it,please feel free to ignore me.  :^)

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


midrael ( ) posted Sat, 07 October 2006 at 8:23 PM

Ooo I love a challenge..

Syndrome bittersweet
Autumn colors, nature's death
Leading to rebirth

David L.


Margana ( ) posted Mon, 09 October 2006 at 4:09 AM

Rebirth...the promise
That lies dormant underneath
In sweet sleep repose.

Good on you,David!Thanks for not  'negating' me,lol. (Double negatives,notwithstanding.) ;^P  Hope 'repose' isn't a problem,as well. :^)

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


midrael ( ) posted Mon, 09 October 2006 at 2:33 PM

Repose is reading
Soft and sweet poetic words
On an autumn's eve.

;)

David L.


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Fri, 13 October 2006 at 1:38 PM

Sorry, interloper confession, but couldn't resist. Stretching the form, but loved the comparison of a Judeo-Christian "fall from grace" with the turning season.  As content not strictly haiku, feel free to omit from renga  :-)

 

Eve, with apple bit

fallen from paradise and

innocent summer


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Fri, 13 October 2006 at 1:41 PM


Margana ( ) posted Fri, 13 October 2006 at 2:43 PM

Works for me. :^)

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


midrael ( ) posted Fri, 13 October 2006 at 2:56 PM

I think that was a great haiku ab! I love the way you compared the fall from grace to the changing of seasons. Nicely done! =)


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Fri, 13 October 2006 at 3:36 PM

Thanks Midrael and Marlene  :-)

I thought it was bit too specific for traditional haiku, the tone of the content felt a bit "off", but hey, who am i to argue... 

All compliments accepted, appreciated and safely tucked away for a rainy day   ;-)


Margana ( ) posted Sat, 14 October 2006 at 4:57 AM · edited Sat, 14 October 2006 at 5:00 AM

Summer ...I knew you
Brazen greens and showy blooms
The beauty of youth.

Not about 'Autumn' and yet...  :^/

Marlene <")

Marlene S. Piskin Photography
My Blog


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Sat, 14 October 2006 at 5:52 AM

I dunno...past participle in use, a reflection on the memory of summer...fits Autumn for me  :-)

ok, I've discovered how addictive this is......

 

Youth, uncaring yet

Age, with envy looks away

To be middle aged


Drekinn ( ) posted Sun, 15 October 2006 at 3:07 AM

Aged by summer heat;
Wrinkled trunks and withered leaves:
Trees turn cold and die.

--

With the coming of winter chill, nature's weary warriors lay down their arms and rest.

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Wed, 18 October 2006 at 3:48 PM

Die cast copper shards

Deep and brittle banks of flame

Ever Pyrrhic beauty


jstro ( ) posted Wed, 18 October 2006 at 6:08 PM

Beauty lasts.
Bare branches reach high.
Stark, yet strong.

 

~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 11:35 AM

oooh, nice turn there jon....

we've had nostalgia, sentimentality even a forlorn lament.... but stoicism?

I like this a lot....it's almost defiant!


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Sun, 22 October 2006 at 8:19 AM

Strong and deep water

the dark cascade in autumn

my love has gone now


Drekinn ( ) posted Tue, 24 October 2006 at 6:30 AM

Now, forsaken red;
Before, gregarious green;
Soon, a lifeless grey.

--

The colourful yet piteous existence of the humble leaf.

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Tue, 24 October 2006 at 4:18 PM

damn, that's good  :-)


jstro ( ) posted Tue, 24 October 2006 at 4:43 PM

Grey skies frown,
Foretelling winter,
Soon to come.


Been kind of cold and bluster here lately.
~jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Thu, 26 October 2006 at 4:40 PM

come cold embraces,

bitter kiss of autumn's dawn

promise bright waters

 

 

(my 2 1/2 yr old daughter loves to see the frozen puddles: "The water gone bright and shiny!")


netsia ( ) posted Sat, 28 October 2006 at 7:34 PM

waters of the eye

just autumnal allergies

quick, a Kleenex, please!

 

[just a comment on being in a part of the country I've not been in for awhile [MO]....too many leaves and not enough pines]

I've missed this haiku  fun


abmcwilliams ( ) posted Sun, 29 October 2006 at 2:49 PM

Love the change in tone...things were getting a bit abstract, then.... Kleenex? ...   fantastic :-)


Drekinn ( ) posted Sat, 11 November 2006 at 4:46 PM

Please, with haste, Jack Frost,
Lade my boughs with death-cold snow;
End my misery.

--

It's been a while since my last contribution - a while for all of us, in fact.
Perhaps the icy approach of winter has slowed the creative flow; time to thaw out, I say. :)

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


Drekinn ( ) posted Thu, 16 November 2006 at 1:32 AM · edited Thu, 16 November 2006 at 1:37 AM

Misery ensues;
Stripped bare to brave winter's breath,
Waiting to exist.

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


Drekinn ( ) posted Thu, 16 November 2006 at 1:39 AM

Why has my text been double-spaced?
Yet another bug into this site's coding.

Drekinn
___
"Let words be your palette."
 


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