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Poser - OFFICIAL F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Nov 24 8:11 pm)



Subject: Important Poser 7 announcement!


universal_scapegoat ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 11:22 AM · edited Fri, 26 July 2024 at 5:22 AM

This is an important announcement for all Renderosity members participating in Poser 7-related threads. In order to get through the P7 release smoothly and in a controlled manner, we request all members to obey the following guidelines:

  • Form your opinion now, based on "things you heard" and screenshots. Please try to be as biased and uninformed as possible.
  • Don't change your opinion, ever. If you should be proven wrong, insult other people and support your wrong opinion by made-up facts and rumors you heard from someone "in the know".
  • After a P7 thread has reached 10 posts, it's mandatory to start flaming. Beginners may flame anonymous companies like e Frontier, DAZ, Microsoft or Apple. However, personal attacks are preferred and should be natural behavior for long-time members.
  • Ignore spelling: Strong opinions don't need that. ALL CAPITALS and exclamation marks will support your POINT!!!!11

Here's what you should do if you decide for hating Poser 7 before the program comes out: - Anyone who likes it is an idiot.

  • You hate the program because it doesn't do "X": X is an exotic feature from a program at least 5 times as expensive, especially exotic programs. Example: "Poser sux, it doesn't support SideFX Houdini's Mantra render engine's shader language."
  • Complain about shoddy programming, even though all you have seen are a few screenshots and you think BASIC and C++ are hip sneaker brands. Your highly trained eye can tell from a screenshot that they are still using Windows 1.0 code.
  • You don't even know what feature xyz is or does, but DAZ|Studio will do it a lot better. Once runs with your graphics card. And the plugin for that feature is out.
  • Quidam is so much better at this. You heard. You don't know what Quidam exactly is, but it's better. At something.
  • It's not Bryce.
  • It's not Cinema4D.
  • There's no "make art button".
  • It's not like that image you have seen on that web page where that guy does really cool nekkid women in 3D.
  • Don't buy Poser 7. All your complaints must be based on things you heard.
  • It's too expensive where you live. Depending on how the exchange rate from USD to your currency is, calculate with or without sales and import tax, shipping and use outdated exchange rates.

After the program came out, you can either continue like before or purchase the program. Then you are required to follow these easy steps: - If it took longer than 1 day to ship, complain that it took forever.

  • Before installing Poser 7, install a new graphics card, Bonzy Buddy, Kazaa, 15 system enhancers and double click every email attachment you received in the last 3 weeks. You may also delete 15 random files from your Windows directory. This is to ensure that all crashes can be traced back to Poser 7, because your overclocked selfmade PC ran perfectly stable before.
  • If you can't figure out a feature in three clicks, it's buggy.
  • If the manual has less color images than a Marvel cartoon, it's incomprehensive.
  • If anything goes wrong, post a new thread in every web forum you know. That includes friendster, craigslist and political discussion boards. Do that before you call tech support or read the manual.
  • Load 15 V3, fully clothed with hair and 6000x6000 textures on your PentiumII 400 with 64MB RAM. Complain that rendering is slow (=takes longer than two minutes).
  • If the new figures are not V3 and M3, they are ugly.
  • If the new figures are V3 and M3, you have been betrayed because you own them already.
  • If at least one button has been introduced, they changed the UI so that you're confused and it completely sucks. They should leave the UI as it was in Poser 4.
  • That Metacreations UI sucks and they should really change it.
  • If you're on a Mac, tell everyone how Windows-like it is and that you hate it.
  • If you're on Windows, tell everyone how Mac-like it is and that you hate it.
  • If you're on Linux, don't post here. No one cares about you anyway. Now go recompile your kernel.
  • Run it in 640x480 and complain about a cluttered UI.
  • You hate rooms, you want everything on one screen.

If you should decide you like Poser 7, you won't be posting anyway. You'll be busy posing instead. Warez doodz are from now on required to ask where to download Poser 7. Requests for previous versions will be ignored from now on and will not receive any "kilroy was here" or "buy my stuff" answers. The may not even get locked. By following these simple rules, it will be ensured that the Poser 7 release will happen in a true friendly and cooperative Renderosity community spirit. Thanks for your attention.


AprilYSH ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 11:28 AM

Great candidate for viral advertising for p7.  I know i'll be passing the link around.
Thanks for the laugh. :)

[ Store | Freebies | Profile ]

a sweet disorder in the dress kindles in clothes a wantoness,
do more bewitch me than when art is too precise in every part


jt411 ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 11:33 AM

Amen brother!


Elfwine ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 11:42 AM · edited Thu, 19 October 2006 at 11:43 AM

Oh God! I was drinking coffee when I had a "noser" reading this message (blotting up the mess)! Whew! Heh... ; P

 Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!  ; )


karanta ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 12:54 PM
Online Now!
ziggie ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 1:32 PM

Whats a Poser 7...?

"You don't have to be mad to use Poser... but it helps"


Richabri ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 1:38 PM

Hahahaha - very funny stuff indeed.

'If you're on Linux, don't post here. No one cares about you anyway. Now go recompile your kernel.
'

That just killed me! lol :)


Tirjasdyn ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 1:44 PM

::Hugs US::

 

Tirjasdyn


RAMWorks ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 2:02 PM

       

---Wolff On The Prowl---

My Store is HERE

My Freebies are HERE  


tom271 ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 2:06 PM

It sounded to me like your demeanor came out of our current political arguments between democrats and republicans....    at least it sounded like it to me...  I was laughing out laud  .......



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rue ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 2:45 PM

:laugh:  - read this after skimming through the DAZ forums. I could almost believe their P7 thread had been got at ...


nruddock ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 2:52 PM

Attached Link: http://www.renderosity.com/mod/forumpro/showthread.php?thread_id=2124682

Was funnier when you first posted it before P6 came out :rolleyes: I'd expected some the list of complaining options to have been expanded in the year and half you've had to work on it :tt2:


TrekkieGrrrl ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 2:56 PM

OMFG! This is absolutely PRICELESS!!! Thanks!

I'll be passing this link around as well!!

FREEBIES! | My Gallery | My Store | My FB | Tumblr |
You just can't put the words "Poserites" and "happy" in the same sentence - didn't you know that? LaurieA
  Using Poser since 2002. Currently at Version 11.1 - Win 10.



Puntomaus ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 6:13 PM

:thumbupboth:

Quote - Was funnier when you first posted it before P6 came out :rolleyes:
I'd expected some the list of complaining options to have been expanded in the year and half you've had to work on it :tt2:

I knew I've seen it before but it still makes me laugh. :m_laugh:

Every organisation rests upon a mountain of secrets ~ Julian Assange


JHoagland ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 6:30 PM

If you're a Republican, Poser 7's "lack of features" is the fault of ex-president Bill Clinton.
If you're a Democrat, Poser 7's "lack of features" is the fault of current president George W. Bush.
 
--John


VanishingPoint... Advanced 3D Modeling Solutions


JOELGLAINE ( ) posted Thu, 19 October 2006 at 8:38 PM

I almost had a hemorage, I was laughing so hard!  God, my nose is running,now! :lol:

I nominate the author of this thread for the ROFLOMAO prize for funniest and most dead on thread for this year!

Dude, do you do stand-up, or write political commentary professionally?

I cannot save the world. Only my little piece of it. If we all act together, we can save the world.--Nelson Mandela
An  inconsistent hobgoblin is the fool of little minds
Taking "Just do it" to a whole new level!   


universal_scapegoat ( ) posted Fri, 20 October 2006 at 2:16 AM · edited Fri, 20 October 2006 at 2:20 AM

Quote - Was funnier when you first posted it before P6 came out :rolleyes:
I'd expected some the list of complaining options to have been expanded in the year and half you've had to work on it :tt2:

One of the important things about version 2.0 of the announcement was the "non-sexy" features we added. The anouncement underwent some major code revisions during the past year and a half to help keep it from dying. The anouncement has been around for well over a decade and internally, it showed. But now, we have a post-base that we can begin to really make some signifcant improvements upon.


sandman_dreaming ( ) posted Fri, 20 October 2006 at 3:14 AM

:) Great! Wouldn't be half as funny if it wasn't all true! I think you've covered pretty much everything. I just popped onto the Bryce forums here and at Daz and your predictions have all come true! Guess the same will happen when Poser 7 appears! Priceless!


geep ( ) posted Fri, 20 October 2006 at 8:36 PM

Yawnnnnnnnnnn ............... I'm still waiting for Poser 8.
;=]

Remember ... "With Poser, all things are possible, and poseable!"


cheers,

dr geep ... :o]

edited 10/5/2019



pakled ( ) posted Sat, 21 October 2006 at 11:11 AM

maybe it suffers the same thing as the Star Trek 'odd number movie curse'..;) Heck, I remember most of these arguments for Poser 5..;) Still say, until someone who can talk can actually report back to us,  it's speculative complaining..;
0

I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit

anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)


Darboshanski ( ) posted Sat, 21 October 2006 at 11:43 AM

As an independent, who feels both parties are nothing more than criminals, all are to blame....LOL!!! Very sweet thread!!!

My Facebook Page


Jean-Luc_Ajrarn ( ) posted Sat, 21 October 2006 at 6:59 PM

ROFLMAO!!! I love it! :D Thanks! :D


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