This is a story I wrote a few years ago. A shortie, nothing steamy, just a bit of fun. :)

Hope you like. (Formatting in here is the pits, forgive the double spacing.)

The Fairy

Thunder.

Loud, booming thunder, that shook the ground and deafened the senses.

Damn, she really hated this racket. Erihn covered her ears with her hands, but it didn't help.

            She could have coped if it had only been the thunder. But, oh no, some critter up there really seemed to have it in for her tonight. Pulling a face, she looked up at the clouds, silently cursing the raindrops that spattered onto her head.

            Well, at least it was warm rain. More like a shower, but when it was wet outside, people tended to stay indoors. Hell, this really ruined a good night's hunting.

            Perched on a thick branch of an oak, Erihn swung her legs back and forth, bored out of her mind. Every now and then a spray of water rained down on her from the thick Spanish moss curtain above her head, but she paid little attention. God, if only it would stop raining.

            Voices in the distance made her yank her legs up onto her perch, peering through the moss that hid her from view. No sense risking detection. At least not until she wanted to be detected.

            "Mitch, I've told you. I'm not going to change my mind. Now get lost."

            "C'mon, Susan." Mitch stared at the lofty blonde next to him. "I don't get—"

            "Yeah, I know you don't get it. Look, it was nice while it lasted, but it's over now. I've told you that too." The blonde fiddled with her hair, tossing it across her shoulder. "I'm with Darius now."

            "Mind telling me why?" Mitch grated angrily.

            Susan smiled icily, lifting her eyebrows briefly. "Look honey, you may be real good in the sack, but Darius has the money."

            "I see." Mitch backed off as if he could catch a deadly disease from her. Then he turned and walked away.

            Susan shrugged and headed in the opposite direction.

            Erihn couldn't resist. She dropped out of the tree, directly into the path of the young man walking along the deserted path. "Hi."

            He stopped, eyeing her warily. "Hi. Where the hell did you come from?"

            Erihn pointed up into the oak. "Up there."

            He glanced up into the tree, then back at her. "Isn't that a bit wet?"

            "Yeah well… if you sit in just the right place it's almost dry." She smiled at him, taking in the dark eyes, the cautious gaze that tried to figure out what she was about. "Actually, you're quite right. I am dangerous," she finally grinned at him, cocking her head to one side.

            He returned her grin, baring a set of even white teeth. "Sure."

            Erihn hooked her arm through his. "So, since you got rid of the fake blonde, wanna try something different?"

            She meant it, Mitch was certain. He extricated his arm from her grasp – which was rather strong for a girl that appeared no older than eighteen. "I don't think so."

            Huge violet eyes met his gaze. "Why not?"

            "Honey, for one thing, you're too young to be doing what you're doing," Mitch told her, trying to back off.

            She threw her head back and laughed.

            "That's funny…?" Mitch frowned.

            "Yeah. How old do you think I am?"

            "Eighteen. At the most." He pulled a face, rolling his eyes. "Which translates to 'Too damn young' as far as I'm concerned."

            She smiled at him, the faint moonlight making her teeth appear almost luminous. And sharp. "You're only off by a few hundred years. Not bad."

            A few hundred years? Mitch shook his head, thinking the poor girl seemed a little… confused. "Right."

            "I'm immortal, you see? It's a real pain." Again she cocked her head, her mouth twisted into a half-smile of resignation. "Gets boring."

            Why did he always end up with the nutcases? This one had obviously let the atmosphere up there get to her. "Look, I know this is New Orleans, but living here doesn't mean you're immortal by default."

            Those violet eyes bored into his, making Mitch aware that it was odd how that color shone in the limited light. He shouldn't be able to make out any color, so how come…? He backed off. No sense in pushing his luck. Even if it wasn't possible that this girl was what she pretended to be, he wasn't going to take any chances.

            "Aww…" she sulked, "you're no fun. No fun at all."

            Mitch noted that her eyes were suddenly harder than nails. "Look, I don't want any trouble, okay?"

            "Who is giving you trouble?"

             "I have a feeling that you're about to fit the profile," Mitch muttered. "And I really don't need that right now."

            "Because of that woman?" Her gaze softened somewhat.

            Mitch said nothing. Let her make up her own mind. She was bound to get it wrong.

            "I didn't think so." She stuck her hand out to him. "I'm Erihn. Who are you?"

            He hesitated to take her hand, but finally obliged her. "Mitch."

            Erihn grinned at him. "Hi Mitch. I'm bored. How about you?"

            "I'm…" Mitch frowned, "Actually, I'm on my way home."

            "Can I come?" A hopeful gaze was directed at him.

            "Why would you want to put yourself at risk like that? You don't know me. For all you know—"

            "I know you won't hurt me. You can't. I'd break every bone in your body if you tried," she informed him casually.

            "Gee, how nice." Mitch chuckled. "Sorry. I have to decline. I like my bones the way they are."

            Erihn looked him up and down, then nodded. "Yeah, I do too."

            "Dammit! Why don't you just leave me be? I said no, okay? I mean it." Mitch snapped. "And if you pull stunts like this very often, you're going to run into the wrong person sooner or later."

            She reached for his hand, ignoring his protests. Turning his hand to face up, she lifted it to her lips. Mitch tried to pull away, but she held on tight. It was like trying to escape a vise. "Hey! Let go."

            "No. Let me show you what you're missing." Her tongue snaked out to lick his wrist.

            "I don't want—" Mitch gasped when hot pain suddenly shot through his wrist, up into his arm. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

            Erihn just looked at him, her sharp teeth deeply embedded in his wrist.

            "Shit…" Mitch muttered, feeling suddenly shaky. He sank to his knees as she continued to draw the lifeblood from him. "What… are… you?"

            Erihn followed his descent without ever taking her mouth off his wrist.

            "Vampires don't… exist…" Mitch moaned, his strength failing rapidly.

            She withdrew her teeth and lovingly licked his wrist. "No. I'm not a vampire. I'm fey."

            "Fey?"

            "A fairy." Erihn drew his limp body into her arms.

            Mitch stared at her. "Fairy."

            "Yeah." She smiled down at him.

            "Liar," he rasped, still unable to draw his gaze away from her face. "You drank my blood."

            "Yeah." She nodded, letting him drop to the ground.

            His look of disbelief seemed to amuse her. She grinned as she moved away from him, making moves to leave.

            "Fairies don't bite." Mitch managed to choke out through the haze that seemed to have taken over his senses.

            "Wrong kind of fairy."

            "Wrong… kind?"

            "Yeah." She started to walk away, but flashed him one last toothy smile. "I never said I was a nice fairy, now did I?"

The End

Hi Silke.

I appreciate the double spacing.  Much easier for me to read.

I have three books going to print this year.  The first is about spiritual healing, the next two are technical books that discuss anatomy, physiology & spiritual energy systems for bodyworkers (massage therapists).  I can write instructional essays and even chapters without any problem but when it comes to telling a story, I suck.

However I want to write stories and have been reading about writing them.  I've just started Syd Field's Screenwriting Workshop (DVD & book) and am analyzing a few screenplays. 

I would like to offer the below comments for you if you want them (I acknowledge you did not ask for feedback), but also for me as a future storyteller in training who needs to take note of such comments to improve his own material:

"Erihn couldn't resist. She dropped out of the tree, directly into the path of the young man walking along the deserted path. "Hi.""

How big is Erihn?  Is she the size of a fingernail or a (short or tall) human being?  What did she feel and experience when she dropped out of the tree?

"He stopped, eyeing her warily. "Hi. Where the hell did you come from?""

What did Mitch see when he looked at her?  Was she beautiful?  Did she have physical traits that suggested she was other-worldly?  Did he experience sexual arousal from her beauty and presence?  How tall was Erihn compared to Mitch?

"Erihn pointed up into the oak. "Up there." He glanced up into the tree, then back at her. "Isn't that a bit wet?""

What type of tree was it?  Old?  Young? Oak? Pine? Willow?  What size branch was Erihn sitting on before she dropped down?

""I am dangerous," she finally grinned at him, cocking her head to one side.  He returned her grin, baring a set of even white teeth. "Sure."

Hmmm.  When I first read that paragraph I associated "even white teeth" with "dangerous".  Re-reading it I realized it was Mitch's teeth, not Erihn's.  I think that "even white teeth" is telling me what is happening more than showing... I could probably feel more about what's going on in Mitch's mind if I were shown what was happening with his eyes (do I see a reflection or glimmer of something) - is there a wince of an eye that causes some wrinkles or a brow to raise, or maybe muscles that may have been causing his brow to crunch up in stress from the previous scene relax, suggesting he feels comfortable with Erihn (or even aroused in anticipation of what may happen next).

  dialogue

There could probably be more in the dialogue that reveals more about the characters.

Mitch frowned, "Actually, I'm on my way home."
"Can I come?" A hopeful gaze was directed at him.
"Why would you want to put yourself at risk like that? You don't know me. For all you know—" 

I think this is too direct and to the point.  Expanding this to include a fantasy that suddenly goes through Mitch's head could reveal much about his character and help the audience decide if he is a good guy, or bad.

  The closing dialogue

The overall dialogue is really good.  It completes the foreshadowing in the beginning of the story and it leaves me wanting to know more.  If this becomes a book let me know, I'll be among the first to buy it.

It was a short story I wrote oh... 10 years ago? It never expanded past what's there. :)

Quote - > "Erihn pointed up into the oak. "Up there." He glanced up into the tree, then back at her. "Isn't that a bit wet?""

What type of tree was it?  Old?  Young? Oak? Pine? Willow? 

cough
chuckle

Thing is, I can't post 99% of my writing here, because a: It's an open forum and publishers will not take it on board once it's been posted. b: I write sex scenes. :P This place is PG. :)

I really appreciate the feedback though and they are all good points. :)

Thanks. 

I figured as much.  I would guess many do not post here due to those complications, and potential copyright violations.