Assome of you know, my Dad was recently diagnosed with inoperable and untreatable cancer.

Friday last week, he had a visit from the doctor because he stopped eating, was very weak and couldn't move.

Doc diagnosed shingles and oral thrush; the thrush due to some of his meds. Anyhow, the doc gave him some new meds, took him off most of the old ones and told my Stepmom to keep an eye on things.

Early hours of Sunday morning, my Dad suffered what appeared to be a stroke, losing movement in the right side and a good deal of his vocabulary. Taken to hospital and, after examination, the docs said the cancer has now reached his brain, causing the stroke like symptoms.

He's now in the Palliative Care unit, and will be there until the end. He's comfortable but frustrated, since he can't communicate very well. He is, however, apparently fully aware of everything and appears to be responding reasonably well to the care.

We can't visit because of his shingles (Claire's pregnant and has no immunity to VZV) but if necessary I will go and stay over at my Stepmom's until the virus has run its course.

So, please send any good wishes you can muster to my Dad and Stepmom. It's a rough ride for both of 'em right now.
 

Our Prayers and thoughts are with you

Rowlando & Family

I'm so sorry for this news!  I'm crying for all of you.  :(  hugs

Has Claire had Chicken Pox? Shingles isn't contagious unless you haven't had Chicken Pox.

If you can go and spend time with your Dad, that's what you need to do.  Sit and talk to him and tell him everything you ever wanted to say to him.   Hearing is the last sense to go, so in time when you think he can't hear you, he can.  So don't stop talking to him :)  And don't be afraid to tell him some jokes to make him laugh.  

Thanks, folks.

Linda, Claire's had Chicken Pox 6 times.  Yes, really.  I've had it twice, too.  

Claire currently has VZV antibodies but because of her history, she's been advised to stay away. I was also told to stay put in case I bring the virus back home with me.  

 Believe it or not, there are no unsaid or unresolved things between my dad and I but there's always going to be something to talk about.   He's my very best friend and, over the years, I think we've talked enough to fill several very large books.  I'm not so sure about jokes - he generally doesn't like mine and besides, he's heard most of 'em before - but he likes to hear about the family, especially little Sam's exploits and adventures.  

I'm happy we were all able to visit last week.  My Dad spent most of the time laughing at Sam.

So sorry to hear this.  I'll keep you all in my Prayers...

Hang in there!  Lots of people are thinking of you!

Larry F

Definitely keep you and your family in my prayers, ST.  It will be a rough go, but you seem prepared.  Good luck, my friend.  My best to your dad.

Sam, Sorry to hear the news buddy.

My father recently passed away from cancer in July of this year. He was diagnosed in February.
Its a hard battle - I'll Keep you in my thoughts.

Clint

Thanks all.  

Clint, I didn't know.  My condolences, mate. 

My prayers are with you and your family, Sam.

JB

As always, ST, my prayers go out to your Dad, your Stepmom, as well as you, Claire and Little Sam.

I know what you're going through, I went through it with my mom.  If you need to vent, give me a shout!

Thanks buddy. Its actually the first time I've mentioned it outside of my family.
We were pretty tight and he was a good friend. It hit me pretty darn hard.

My dad was in a similar state that yours is in. My father had a very high IQ...he's a mensa man.
He was so pissed off towards the end. I could see it in his eyes. He had a lot of trouble communicating and keeping his thoughts right. Be he was there until the end .. for sure.

I was very lucky like you that I had the opportunity to tell him everything I needed to before he passed - So I didnt have any regrets. Now he sits in a small urn at my computer desk and watches me work.  (wink)

Man...this life and then death thing is a real bitch. (sigh)

Stay strong my friend.

Clint, it was Alzheimer's that did that to my dad so I definitely hear what you're saying. 

I think it was the Aphasia that hit my dad the worst as he was always very articulate ...

My best to you, my friend, and I'll keep a prayer for you and your family, too.

very sorry to hear this.  I hope your dad will receive good care and any desired pain medication.

 Aw, Sam, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll say a prayer for your family, and I hope your Dad pulls through.

Prayers and thoughts from across the pond Paul.

Best wishes ...

Sorry to hear this Sam

Shingles is not overly infectious but the advice to avoid it completely is very sound.

Hopefully your Dad can still commmunicate with gestures and still can understand what you say to him. The loss of language is very annoying, I still have problems digging out the right word after my stroke.   If you have a digital camera you could take him recent pics of the area and family. 

I mean this in a nice way but I hope in the circumstances he goes quickly. My grandfather died of cancer when I was a kid and he lasted 6 months, but the last few months he didnt recognise his kids.  

Much strength for you all in this terrible times. My prayers to you

 As us older folks, move to our final healing place, there is a feeling oneness.
Its is natures way of closing this chapter.
Just as you have said here. He is your best friend.
All you have to do is love him for love never dies.
Bless you and your family.

Paul, what can I say that hasn't already been said? we'll be thinking of you all & keeping our fingers crossed.

Many thanks, everyone.

@ markschum - You're absolutely right.  As things are now, he's comfortable and in no apparent pain. 

Sorry to hear that your dad has become worse and can't stay at home anymore.  When's Claire having her baby?
Love esther

My thoughts and prayers are with you, ST... this is a very hard time. It's particularly hard because you are such good friends, which is a wonderful thing to see: not all families enjoy such closeness.
I wish you much strength... you know you have our love.

My heart goes out to your father and you.  My dad passed away 20 years ago from dementia and probably Cancer and I still miss him.

As for Shingles, its a form of Chickenpox and if you ever had  Chickenpox, the probablility that you can catch Shingles is great.  However, the good news is that there is a preventive Shingles vaccine that folks over 60 should get.  Shingles is extremely painful for many senior citizens and it can last for several months.  Jan

I've been down this road twice... both mother and father. My thoughts are with you. 

Best wishes to your Dad, Stepmom, you, and all involved. May things go as well as they an under the circumstances.

Again, thank you for all your kind thoughts.

My Stepmom says things have been a little better today.  Dad is responding to treatment but still hasn't regained much of his ability to speak, although his perception is still up to par.

 An option - which will be discussed with him in a couple of days - is radiotherapy, which won't cure the cancer but could reduce the lesions in his brain and help him regain some motor functions and possibly speech.  The doctors believe the current problems are due to swelling in the brain so this course of treatment may work and give him some better quality of life for a little while.

I'm still under orders to stay away but I'll be visiting as soon as I get the all clear. 

 May his travails end as swiftly and pain-free as he wishes.  May you and yours feel  comfort  knowing your love will ease his way.  Our thoughts and wishes are with you Paul.

i would do the stay at stepmom's thing if i was you

i have a prayer for him tonight

 I am so sorry! My father went through something similar- my thoughts go out to you all! I think you are doing all you can given the situation. Maybe you can call him and let him hear you on speakerphone? I'm sure he would love to hear your voices.

My sympathies and thoughts are with you and your family.

Very sorry and you all are in our prayers.