I've been performing interviews for the past couple of week to hire people for our department.

Two days ago, I interviewed this attractive and intelligent young lady for the position. It was love at first CV... lol, not really, but I found her quite interesting, easy to talk to and more importantly, I noticed we actually have a lot in common (she's into gaming, 3D, and all kind of geeky things, what's not to like?).

She didn't quite fit in the profile we are after though, so she didn't get the job (hey, I had to be professional and put together the best team possible), however, I can't seem to forget about her.

Given I got her contact info out of her CV and we met during a job interview, would it be unethical for me to use this contact information and give her a call, asking for a date/get to know? It just doesn't feel right.

What do you all think? don't be lightheaded about it, I don't want this lady to think it's a common practice in our company to do such thing.

There was a guy over here recently who made the local paper after losing his job for doing just this. The lady concerned phoned the company to complain that her details had been abused and he was out.

To be honest, as she only submitted her details for the job application, it would be wrong to use them for anything else.

Really? wow that's awful. I highly doubt I'd make it into the newspaper, but still, wouldn't even want to make anyone unconfortable.

I don't see a problem with it just as long as you don't become a stalker if she spurns your advances..

Maybe a better approach might be to hang around a place she visist regularly, a gym or something and just chat like it was a  coincidence..

"Maybe a better approach might be to hang around a place she visist regularly, a gym or something and just chat like it was a  coincidence.."

Now "That" would be stalking...lol

Kidding...

Hey...who knows,she knows where you work...maybe she'll stalk...er...contact you.

8 )~

Tom

What an unfortunate situation.

I'm not sure how I would react if some guy I had interviewed with suddenly contacted me and asked me out.

She may think you didn't hire her because you were sexually interested in her and didn't want to date an employee.

Personally if I were you I'd forget about her given the uncomfortable circumstances of how you met her.

I'm afraid it would an unethical use of personal details. You might keep in mind that your interviewee might have been pouring on the charm which you found irresistible. And now, unforgettable ...

Quote - You might keep in mind that your interviewee might have been pouring on the charm

Very true!  During interviews we tend to over emphasize our charms in order to try and get the job.  And in the case of a woman being interviewed by a man, it's not uncommon for the woman to flirt a little. That doesn't however translate into sexual interest. Just using what we have in order to maximize our chances,  lol

Definitely unethical and here in the UK an abuse of personal data, under the provisions of the Data Protection Act.  You could be fired and fined.

What Sam  said.
There is just too  much of a "Creepy guy with my home number"  aspect at play here .

Also in these  $tough times$$ people are under stress and often angry & frustrated
She Could File a Complaint with your company out of spite for being passed over.

Cheers

Would you go on a date with someone who rejected you professionally?

Quote - Would you go on a date with someone who rejected you professionally?

Question to the blokes, this, Biscuits?

Because yeah, I'd date someone who rejected me on professional grounds if there was chemistry - work and play are two different animals, so professional competitiveness and sexual powerplay can be kept completely in their respective corners. At some point, respect does enter into the equation, of course: if he can't respect me professionally, then perhaps that might reflect his ability to respect me in other ways.

The naysayers are probably for the most part correct, especially that "creepy guy with personal data" part.

OTOH 27 years ago I was teaching classes in Wang word processing at The Hunger Project in San Francisco and a woman in one class was truly terrible at it and bristled and recoiled at every suggestion I offered, making for some very interesting in-class drama.

After a week of classes, I offered to meet her in a local cafe - a block away - on an off day, whereupon she said yes (It was NOT a "date") and I brought a user's manual and subsequently passed 4-5 hours helping her "get it".  She did.  About a month after she had finished the class I ran into her somewhere else.  We had some more coffee, and I asked her out to a movie, and, well, we celebrated our 25th anniversary in March 2011.

It can be done.  But that built-in creep factor should be kept in mind.

Totally different circumstances, Larry.  There wasn't any suggestion of using confidential info in your case, nor of stalking.  T'other scenario has both, in spades.

just keep your fingers crossed you bump into her in a public place at least then u can ask for her number

How much do you like your job (and are willing to have something bad on your record) and how much do you want the chance to go out with her? 

BTW, does she have an easily findable facebook page (with her name in it) or something like that?  Maybe you could contact her via that.

Of course, if the situations were reversed, hot female interviewer rejects the guy professionally but asks him out on a date, I think most single red-blooded males would say yes in an instant.

Acadia:

Quote - Very true!  During interviews we tend to over emphasize our charms in order to try and get the job.  And in the case of a woman being interviewed by a man, it's not uncommon for the woman to flirt a little. That doesn't however translate into sexual interest. Just using what we have in order to maximize our chances,  lol

So you have a female or gay male interview female candidates?

Quote - Acadia: > Quote - Very true!  During interviews we tend to over emphasize our charms in order to try and get the job.  And in the case of a woman being interviewed by a man, it's not uncommon for the woman to flirt a little. That doesn't however translate into sexual interest. Just using what we have in order to maximize our chances,  lol

So you have a female or gay male interview female candidates?

You have to grant women the ability and perceptibility to ascertain when that charm they possess is going to be effective and when it will be an exercise in futility.

Silly question, Winterclaw. :biggrin:

Quote - Totally different circumstances, Larry.  There wasn't any suggestion of using confidential info in your case, nor of stalking.  T'other scenario has both, in spades.

Pretty much, SamT, but she was - is - a babe and it was pretty obvious that every guy in there was checking her out. She told me much later that she was very surprised I didn't hit on her that first time in the coffee shop.

And I did have her personal information. not that it matters much.

Frankly, my advice would be to go for it, but be very respectful and, if you get "no", abide by it. Take it to me "no." She might be flattered, but you don't want her to be scared. Could be some awful consequences.

Maybe you should have given her the job, then fired her when you got fed up of her ...

 ... just kidding before you say anything ...  Friday fun ...

First she says yes, then she exacts revenge on you by accusing you of having stalked/raped her. Call me a mysoginist but remember that there are known cases of women having faked aggression by having themselves beaten up, having themselves raped for true, self spraying acid on their faces!

After a couple of years of legal battles (get ready for some jail time) maybe you will get out of it. If not, you will be marked for life as a sexual criminal (and become very intimate with you cellmate Bubba). Even if you manage to get clear (on the legal side), you will still be smeared for life because, many people (even men) still assume that women cannot lie (at least not so much). As a added bonus, every time there will be a sexual related crime in your neighborhood the police will knock at your door.

What about some safer activity like bomb disposal? you enemy (the bomb) is less dangeours (and evil) than a woman.

.... you have some deep seated issues coppo. ever thought of getting professional help?

Quote - First she says yes, then she exacts revenge on you by accusing you of having stalked/raped her. Call me a mysoginist but remember that there are known cases of women having faked aggression by having themselves beaten up, having themselves raped for true, self spraying acid on their faces!

After a couple of years of legal battles (get ready for some jail time) maybe you will get out of it. If not, you will be marked for life as a sexual criminal (and become very intimate with you cellmate Bubba). Even if you manage to get clear (on the legal side), you will still be smeared for life because, many people (even men) still assume that women cannot lie (at least not so much). As a added bonus, every time there will be a sexual related crime in your neighborhood the police will knock at your door.

What about some safer activity like bomb disposal? you enemy (the bomb) is less dangeours (and evil) than a woman.

OMG..again? Dude..you have issues. Serious, deep-seated problems. You need therapy.

Laurie

Whoa, lots of replies since last night when I poted :O

Thank you all for your advices and comments, most of all, thanks for your honesty, I posted in this forums for that reason.

I have to say there wasn't anything going on during the interview, and I wasn't alone, in fact there were 2 woman conducting the interview along with me, so I don't think there was room for her to take advantage of her female charms. It was all very proffesional, as it should be.

I think I'll go with my gut (and the advice of most here) and forget about it. I had to google her before the interview and she does have a facebook profile, I'll try with that instead, much safer and less intrusive. Although, another thing we have in common is a certain rejection to the whole social network concept (idk, the subject came up somehow), so if she pays as much atention to her profile as I do, not much hope there LOL, we'll see.

If my more inpulsive friends here manage to change my mind, I'd only go as far as calling once, no pushing or insting. But like I said, I rather avoid any problems.

I know that where I work you would be terminated iimediatly if was ever discovered that you used her personal information. I'm really surprized that this wasn't covered by your manager or HR department before you started interviewing.

Companys get sued for millions because of the actions like this by their employees. 

Consider that it would only take a single call from her to get you fired.

Don't do it.

WARNING! WARNING! DANGER, HIUSHI! DANGER!

Proceed at your own risk, but pursuit of any kind would be very, very risky. AND THAT INCLUDES FRIENDING HER ON FACEBOOK!

I don't know where you are, but in the US, this is extremely unethical - and possibly ILLEGAL!- and would put you and your employer at risk. I have been a manager for 25+ years, have been involved in the hiring and firing process for at least that long and have faced situations like this on more than one occassion. I have had to fire good employees for making this mistake and have seen the company I worked for involved in a lawsuit because an employee thought it was "OK" to take her number from her resume. So, if you think risking it is worth losing your job over, ask yourself if it's worth taking the company down for as well.

If you're not sure, ask your HR department; but realize that may have implications as they would surely worry about your judgement. We have this conversation before EVERY interview we conduct.

Could it work out? Sure. I could also jump out of an airplane without a parachute and survive. It's happened. But it ain't worth the risk.

If you're still willing to take the chance after all the advice to the contrary, then you didn't need the advice anyway.

The application she filled out, or the resume she submitted is the property of the company you work for. Using it for personal stuff is misuse of company documents and information, no matter how benign it is.

Look at it this way, if it's karma, you'll see her again. You could give fate a nudge via FB, though. ;)

To those recommending facebook, I disagree.  She isn't a friend of yours. You interviewed her for a job.  Contacting her in a very personal way through searching her on the net and posting on her "friends" page is a violation of her privacy and an abuse of your authority at work.

Please, just leave well enough alone. 

I completely agree with Acadia: don't go thinking Facebook is safe, because for one thing, it's auto-documenting... I've had a work colleague fired because of something she said (work-related) on Facebook about my supervisor.  This person you find irresistible can do as my supervisor did and copy and paste the offending facebook page/comment/whatever and take it to admin and it's all over.

I've closed my Facebook account because of privacy issues I have with it - people accosting me and (worse!) hacking my account and writing nasty things making it look like I said it. It was surprisingly easy to do, too. It's a minefield: more people have had really bad things happen to them because they thought it was a safe place to "play".

Yeah, it seems like it could end a lot worse then good. Truth is mark all office relations, even in hiring, as totally professional for just that reason. This is kind of hypocritical of me to say though as I'm the one who hired the man I ended up marrying lol. Bu t that should be a bigger indication of it being a bad idea: I didn't even know him and nearly lost my job for it. If my superior wasn't a 63 year old, chronically-high, salty oceanographer, he'd probably have canned me hard. So yeah, leave be is probably the best approach.

Yeah, I don't know what was I thinking, I'll forget about it, already did.

Thank you all for your honest words and advices :)

Good idea to forget all about it.

Dunno about most states and locales, but here in Oregon, it could get you fired, sued, and your (soon to be former) employer sued. The results will also turn up in any subsequent background check, which means you'd never work a managerial job again.

I'll just pass on a saying that I got from a somewhat similar situation I was in back in 2005: "Don't shit where you eat."

Romance and work are two entirely separate things, and unless you're a movie actor in a romantic comedy, the two should never mix, or even come close.

(...the backstory? in late 2005 I was freshly divorced, and a female co-worker used that fact as an opportunity to flirt like hell, and it got my attention. As a sysadmin, I had easy access to her home phone and address if I wanted to get it. Ironbear was the one who told me the phrase, and I was smart enough to take the advice. I found someone infinitely more captivating a few months later, and we just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary.)

Quote - .... you have some deep seated issues coppo. ever thought of getting professional help?

No deep issues, just regular visits to the Daily Mail website.

I have read stuff that makes any (sensible) male shiver in horror. The last pearl was about a woman who had brainwashed her toddler son into accusing the father (divorce in process) of sexual molestations. Luckily the thing has been exposed quite quickly but this critter got a very light sentence (less than two years) while the father would have been ruined for life.

I notice that there are a lot of "trusting" people around, people who trust "authority", fellow human beings (ever heard of the expression homo homini lupus?). It appears that you did not learn much about life; at least I can boast of never having commited the same mistake twice.

B.t.w, on the Daily Mail site there are often articles about heart warming stories about animals (like all kind of animals rearing youngs of other species) which contrast nicely with standard human behaviour. Trust me...

Daily Mail, mate. Seriously, you reckon it might be run by a mysogynist? Slight chance? I'd be looking into it. After all, it IS the Daily Mail. :biggrin:

Quote -  

No deep issues, just regular visits to the Daily Mail website.

 

The Daily Fail?  FFS, I wouldn't wipe my arse with that rag.  They are the paper which supported Oswald Mosley and expressed admiration for that nice new German Chancellor, Herr Hitler.  To this day they are the most rabid, racist and downright nasty newspaper this side of the BNP's Bulldog. 

I do not know what "date" means? One or few nights?

If date means begin of relationship, then you just chose job over another person. I'm too old and I do not understand modern people.

If she's that great wouldn't she already have someone and if not .. why? I am in a position to hire and I would never take it out of the office.. old saying, you don't crap where you eat. Even if she isn't technically working with you there would always be that...why am I not good enough to hire but good enough to date behind it. You also didn't say if this is just sexual attraction. I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole, not just out of fear of losing my job but out of respect for myself. Believe me, if she is truely interested she knows where you work and how to get in touch with you.