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Bryce F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Oct 30 3:44 am)

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THE PLACE FOR ALL THINGS BRYCE - GOT A PROBLEM? YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE


Subject: A few giggles...


tjohn ( ) posted Wed, 29 February 2012 at 1:33 PM · edited Thu, 07 November 2024 at 2:45 AM

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.**
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
___________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
________________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
_______________________________________________________
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
________________________________________________________
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
_____________________________________________________________
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
___________________________________________________________
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
___________________________________________________________
Thought from Scottish Comedian, Billy Connolly.
**
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,**
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
____________________________________________________________
**

** Children Are Quick****
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....


TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
**_________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

**
**

**Hope you got a grin or two...
**

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy


marforno ( ) posted Wed, 29 February 2012 at 3:45 PM

LOL... :-)

Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur.


Daworth ( ) posted Wed, 29 February 2012 at 3:58 PM

Love the "Free Yorkshire Terrier" ad.  He, he!


Ravyns ( ) posted Wed, 29 February 2012 at 4:58 PM

LOL!!  

**************************************************************************************

Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we should dance.

 


FranOnTheEdge ( ) posted Wed, 29 February 2012 at 6:00 PM

Those are great, so good I'm sending them to my husband at work so he can have some fun tomorrow.

Brill!

Measure your mind's height
by the shade it casts.

Robert Browning (Paracelsus)

Fran's Freestuff

http://franontheedge.blogspot.com/

http://www.FranOnTheEdge.com


tom271 ( ) posted Wed, 29 February 2012 at 8:20 PM

very funny...



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erosiaart ( ) posted Thu, 01 March 2012 at 3:16 AM

love them.. thanks for the much needed laughs!!


peedy ( ) posted Thu, 01 March 2012 at 8:35 AM

Hehehehe
Great ones. :-D

Corrie


Quest ( ) posted Thu, 01 March 2012 at 1:56 PM

LOL...loved them...they're terrific. Thanks!

 


TheBryster ( ) posted Thu, 01 March 2012 at 2:05 PM
Forum Moderator

Excellent.

Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader

All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...


dyret ( ) posted Fri, 02 March 2012 at 2:14 AM

Good! Sometimes when you wake up in the morning this kind of reading is what you need. At 40 I sometimes wish I'd been as quick as THOSE children were when I was in school in the early 80's. I have a fanatasy about beeing able to go back to school and saying all the clever things. LOL


skiwillgee ( ) posted Sat, 03 March 2012 at 9:14 PM

Great!!!


bobbystahr ( ) posted Sun, 04 March 2012 at 9:51 AM

hee hee hee posting to my grim FaceCrack friends who often need a good larf...thanks for posting here

 

Once in a while I look around,
I see a sound
and try to write it down
Sometimes they come out very soft
Tinkling light sound
The Sun comes up again



 

 

 

 

 


Rowan54 ( ) posted Mon, 05 March 2012 at 10:38 AM

LOL!

Thanks!


Pol ( ) posted Mon, 05 March 2012 at 1:53 PM

Really good, thanks


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