I know I'll probably get booted for posting this but I think we all can use some comic relief once in a while. This was borrowed from an unknown author on another board. Hope you enjoy as much as I did. UPGRADING - Last year, I upgraded my GirlFriend 5.0 to GirlFriend 5.1, which installs itself as "Fiancee 1.0". Recently, I upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a real memory hog. It has taken up all my space, and Wife 1.0 must be running before I can do ANYTHING. It is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming system resources. Some applications, such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all. Additional plug-ins were automatically installed, such as Mother-In-Law 55.8, and there is no uninstall feature for these plug-ins. No mention of this behavior was discussed in the brochures or documentation, although other users have reported similar problems. Because of this, some users that I know have decided to avoid the headaches associated with these upgrades, and simply move from Girlfriend 5.0 to Girlfriend 6.0. Unfortunately, this is not without peril as well, as all traces of Girlfriend 5.0 must be removed from the system before attempting installation of 6.0. Even then, Girlfriend 6.0 will repeatedly run system checks (usually in the background, and often late at night when the system is asleep) to find evidence of previous versions. To cap it off, Girlfriend 6.0 apparently has a nag feature reminding about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0. However, I do like some of the features that you are planning to include in the upcoming Girlfriend 6.1 release: A "Don't remind me again" button Minimize button Shutdown feature An install shield feature so that Girlfriend can be completely uninstalled if necessary (so you don't lose cache and other objects) Unfortunately, since I've already upgraded to Wife 1.0, I don't think I will be able to take advantage of any of these new features, unless you decide to include them in the next Mistress release. But, of course, there is a whole raft of problems associated with the use of Mistress 1.0 and Wife 1.0 on the same system-most notably are system conflicts and continual disk thrashing, which starts shortly after Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 1.0. Interestingly enough, all versions of Personal Lawyer still work fine. Finally, Wife 1.0 apparently deletes all MSMoney files before uninstalling itself; following that, Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources. I personally find all these new tools and conflicts to be too confusing and time consuming. I'm sticking with Dog 1.0b3. It slobbers and chews up the paper, but all in all these bugs are tolerable. It is simple to operate and we get along fine.

Great !!!Lol!!! Make a downloadable copy, please!!

heheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

This is just too funny!!

Girlfriend XP, the Girlfriend Operating system of the new Millenium: Requires an annual, expensive renewal fee Comes loaded with features you didn't want: Drug Habit 3.1 (still in Beta), Drinking Problem 5.0 (final), and Neglected Children Suite 2001. Weak security system allows easy access to hackers. If you make any changes to your hardware Girlfriend XP will cease to work. New GUI really just looks like a more tired version of the Old GUI. GF XP comes with a sampling of MP3's from famous artists like Ricky Martin, Mariah Carey, Shania Twain and other artists that will drive you up the wall in record time. -WTB

I had this sent to me a year or so ago, it shows the other side of the coin... :))
all the best
Dal

Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed that the new program began making
unexpected changes to the accounting software,
severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and
jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was
included in the product brochure.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other
valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5,
CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday
Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably
crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it
run DiaperChanging 14.1 or House Cleaning 2.6. I've
tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this
all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness.
Can you help, please!!

Sincerely, Frustrated User -----------------

Dear Frustrated User:

This is a very common problem women complain about,
but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many
people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with
no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and was designed by its creator to run as few
applications as possible. TECH TIP! Do not attempt to
modify software yourself! Husband 1.0 may default to
GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer
6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to
create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files
that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some
trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember!
The system will run smoothly, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly!
Consider buying additional software to improve
performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0,
Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction,
these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0
running smoothly.

After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become
familiar and you will find many valuable embedded
features such as Fix BrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2
and BestFriend 7.6. A final word of caution! Do NOT,
under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This
is not a supported application, and will cause
selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband
1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until
MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for
choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech
Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We
trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaa..... I heard that an upgrade/addon's coming.. that may help.. Romance 2.0.4 from what I understand it helps both operating systems and programmes listed above 8 ) and the price is reasonable too 8 )

You guys crack me up! (: Genny

Romance? What's that? heh My man is the MOST UNROMANTIC person I know. sigh BTW loved the Star Trek pic!!

You want to see serious operating system problems? Uninstall Wife 1.0 and replace it with Boyfriend 5.5.

Ewwwwww yuck!

Hi Folks! Don't forget Mother-in-Law 1.05: enters the system (usually as an attachment to the master Wife 1.0 file) and immediately begins changing all the default system preferences. In extreme cases MiL 1.05 has been known to undermine all known security settings (including Locked Door to Bedroom 1.0), disrupt phone connections, and even invade mail. Frequently runs an applet called Force Wife 1.0 to Take Sides: available on all platforms. (In real life, Mother-in-law 2.0 was wonderful, R.I.P.) And don't forget Brother-in-Law 1.1 A real worm: responsible for an incredible drain on system resources (especially near Refrigereator 1.1 and Bathroom 2.0) and can display significant memory loss with any attempts to install Pay Back Loan Reminder 7.0 or greater). Peter (Dr Zik)

Pretty funny how technology makes it's way into our daily lives. I HATE IT!

VirtualSite: You go, guy! Changing operating systems like that is often traumatic, and requires different utility packages.

In many case like this the only solution is: >format C: and make a complete restore from scratch

Traumatic and painful unless you're used to it!

Nfred, indeed it can be traumatic, but at the same time it can result in surprising subroutines: PeaceofMind3.0, among others. As with changing PC for Macintosh, it may not be for everyone, but given what Ive read above, I wouldnt change my operating system for the world. =)