Forum Moderators: wheatpenny, Wolfenshire
Writers F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Nov 18 1:45 pm)
Life's journey is always difficult and the way ahead is frequently blurred. Reminds me of a poem I wrote some time ago: JOURNEY ON This fog, more tangible than retinal codes, or a pulse along a nerve more solid than an invert image fashioned on a cortical screen, advises stealth. The way ahead, clear once known, escapes, dissipates amid the soft grey particles. Wayside landmarks wear an air of strangeness and no beacon points the way. Ahead a misty calligraphy wrought by an unfamiliar hand. This fog's breath has frosted the sheen of the scrying glass, wagged a warning finger at the travelling man, laid a masking veil across the path. The way ahead is wearisome, the senses strained, the movements taut and tentative and slow. But move we must, there's no way back, and forward we must go.
Tanialmeida - nicely done. You quietly put together two aspects of freedom - a break from responsibility and from security - in your poem in a deft manner. They're presented as different aspects that can sometimes compliment, and sometimes oppose each other. You have a delicate touch in your poetry, putting in emotions without hitting the reader over the head with them. Living on the border, myself, I can see these thoughts echoed by immigrants. meico - you put together words in very deft ways. Although you use clinical terms like retinal codes and cortical screens, the poem stays soft and lyrcial. You do an excellent job controlling the tone and mood of you poem while using unexpected words and phrases.
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i don't know where i lost track but i'm afraid i can't get back there's no anchor to hold me down for if i'm free, i cannot drown i ask the sun and all the stars to light my way to freedom land if forgiveness is what i need could you please believe in me!