it certainly is satisfying when, after months of not writing anything worthwhile, you suddenly write something decent without even thinking it.

Now, I'll be the first to admit this is no Whitman. But hey, at least I like it. Enough to share it with you guys.

Thoughts?

"City"

Live the city,
In its harsh grit of smog and suburbia.
Smell it, see it.
Know yourself in the dead of its night,
In its rot and rebirth.
Chase your soul after a hundred neon lights,
And swoop unexpected on its mighty veins:
Enjoy the ride.

Be the city,
Walk the throngs and masses of uncertains,
Touch and rub against the elbows of unknowns.
Sing to the city,
In the incessant blaring of car horns and stereos,
Join the one yell that breaks through ceilings,
And crash through walls with its power:
Acid for souls.

Lose the city,
Turn back on its revelry and pride,
Humble yourself to the myriad faces,
And cast yourself down its sidewalks.
In the pools of sweat, blood and tears
A face reflects lit by giant TVs
And the cracked smile wears down on its apathy:
Reclaim the city.

I'm really big on imagery carrying the meaning in a poem, and you've got a lot of it here. Strongly. Lines/phrases/images that especially stand out to me: "grit of smog and suburbia" (I don't know that you need "harsh" here, though. You've chosen this phrase so well, that harshness is implied and understood automatically. Good.) "in the dead of its night, In its rot and rebirth"--I like this, too. The alliteration of "rot and rebirth" is neat, linking two words with opposite meanings. The juxtaposition works well. "Walk the throngs and masses of uncertains, Touch and rub against the elbows of unknowns"--I like the way you use the words "unknowns" and "uncertains", as if they were tangible things. Unexpected. And while my personal taste is not to use two words when one specific one would work ("throngs and masses"/ "Touch and rub"), I just realized that it does sound a lot like Whitman, here, and this word choice is why. :) "Humble yourself to the myriad faces"--I like this very much. It strikes something inside that I can't quite put a name on. (Exactly what most poets strive to do to thier victims. . .er. . .readers!) "In the pools of sweat, blood and tears"---These three (blood, sweat and tears) are used together so often that they've kinda lost their poetic punch. They're not necessarily bad, they're just not as strong or fresh as some of the other lines you've given us. Feel free to toss out anything you feel doesn't apply, of course. Normally, I tend to dislike city-ish poetry, but you've done something intriguing, here. Thanks for posting it. Lu

Wow, Lu. Thanks for all the feedback. And yes, I agree with all the suggestions you've made. Also, I concur: the sweat, blood and tears line is certainly a very used-up one. >"I just realized that it does sound a lot like Whitman, here" I'M HONORED!

I love it, "Chase your soul after a hundred neon lights," is one of my favorite lines. Usually I look at city poetry witha little intrest and nothing more but I love this one :-) Alex

Okay, I've been trying to think of a way to say this that doesn't sound stupid, but I can't, so I'll say it the stupid sounding way :-) I really liked the fact that your poem was about a modern city, at a fixed point in time, able to be dated etc... with it's neon lights and tvs. It's so much easier to write about more timeless things, human interaction, emotional states and so on. I like the sense of atmosphere this creates for me as I read it, it reminds me why I moved out of London, but gives me a sense of why I keep going back to visit :-) Shanna :-)

There is an air of despair in your poem. There are a thousand tales going on in the city right along with that tomb of anonymity. There is an excitement in the heart beating for today as well in that silence written on the walls, and those drawn to as well as those repelled by its center.

Wow. The poem definitely gave me a strong visual image as I read it. You did a really good job with the form and tone of the poem. It felt like there was a meter, but it didn't scream out, "Here's the beat." I'm very much a non-city person, but for a moment, I could almost see why someone would want to live in one. Very well done!